Pain and gain quotes im a doer

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Rodney dangerfield "With my wife I don`t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to `the best woman a man ever had.` The waiter joined me." Emmy rossum "I can put my legs behind my head and sing `Happy Birthday.` Because that`s something that me and my friends used to do when we were in gymnastics class as kids, and I can still do it. I was doing it since I was 8 and 9. They used to call me Gumby. Very bendy." Cesare Enrico "Rico" Bandello "Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?" Friedrich nietzsche "I love those who do not know how to live for today" Mika brzezinski "I was fired at the pinnacle of my career, on my 39th birthday. And in the year that followed, I learned that there are many psychological phases of being `let go.`" Rodney dangerfield "I`m at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I`ve just had a mirror put over my kitchen table." Anna Frank "In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart" Steve coogan "I think it`s always funny when you see kids do Shakespeare." John krasinski "Boston is actually the capital of the world. You didn`t know that? We breed smart-ass, quippy, funny people. Not that I`m one of them. I just sorta sneaked in under the radar." Demetri martin "I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny." A. Philip Randolph "Make wars unprofitable and you make them impossible" Unknown "Capitalism is the unequal distribution of wealth, communism is the equal distribution of poverty" David Broder "Anybody who wants the presidency so much that he`ll spend two years organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office" James m. barrie "Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow" Richard bach "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you`re alive, it isn`t." Pope John Paul II "Humanity should question itself,once more,about the absurd and always unfair phenomenon of war.." David bailey "I left school on my 15th birthday." Robert Michels "Never is the power of the state greater,and never are the forces of political parties of opposition less effective,than at the outbreak of war" Charlie sheen "Life all comes down to a few moments. This is one of them." Jim morrison "Love cannot save you from your own fate" Giant 1956 "Come on, darling. Why don`t you kick off your spurs?" Mitch hedberg "Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain`t funny!" Audrey hepburn "Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you`re exactly the same." William shakespeare "Life`s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." General Smedley Butler "War is a racket. It always has been. It is possibly the oldest,easily the most profitable,surely the most vicious" Vera farmiga "I don`t have a caustic sense of humor. What I find funny, that humor comes from a much gentler place." Jason reitman "It`s funny, I can sit through the worst horror film ever made but even a quite good romantic comedy can drive me nuts." James Bryce "Our country is not the only thing to which we owe our allegiance. It is also owed to justice and to humanity" Doug coupland "Depression is when you have lots of love, but no one`s taking" Henry david thoreau "What is called genius is the abundance of life and health." Johnny Cash "The hardest thing for me in Vietnam wasn`t seeing the wounded and dead. It was watching the big transport jets come in,bringing loads of fresh new boys for the war" Jimmy Carter "There should be an honest attempt at the reconciliation of differences before resorting to combat" David Cross "You cannot win a War on Terrorism. Its like having a war on jealousy" Haldane "I`ve never met a healthy person who worried much about his health or a good person who worried much about his soul" Adolf Hitler "By means of shrewd lies, unremittingly repeated, it is possible to make people believe that heaven is hell, and hell heaven. The greater the lie, the more readily it will be believed" Double indemnity 1944 "Yes, I killed him. I killed him for money and for a woman. I didn`t get the money and I didn`t get the woman. Pretty, isn`t it?`" Richard bach "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they`re yours; if they don`t they never were" The shining 1980 "Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in. Not by the hair on your chiny-chin-chin? Then I`ll huff, and I`ll puff, and I`ll blow your house in." Francis bacon "A bachelor`s life is a fine breakfast, a flat lunch, and a miserable dinner." Meister eckhart "If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough." Will Rogers "I don`t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts" The shining 1980 "Wendy...darling. Light of my life. I`m not gonna hurt ya... I`m just gonna bash your brains in. I`m gonna bash `em right the f--k in." Lewis Mumford "War vies with magic in its efforts to get something for nothing.." The shining 1980 "He-e-e-e-re`s Johnnie!" The adventures of robin hood 1938 "Welcome to Sherwood, my lady!" Johann wolfgang von goethe "Love and desire are the spirit`s wings to great deeds" Groucho marx "Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him." Ellen key "Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love" Albert Einstein "As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality,they are not certain,and as far as they are certain,they do not refer to reality." Brent Davis "Peace is constructed,not fought for" Arthur Schopenhauer "A man can do what he wants, but not want what he wants" Psalms 27:1 "...The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Billy idol "I love it when someone insults me. That means that I don`t have to be nice anymore" High noon 1952 "It`s no good. I`ve got to go back, Amy...They`re making me run. I`ve never run from anybody before." Thomas carlyle "A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge" Elizabeth bowen "When you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out" Doris lessing "Sometimes I think what I write is funny in its quiet way." Percy Bysshe Shelley "War is the statesman`s game,the priest`s delight,the lawyer`s jest,the hired assassin`s trade" Groucho Marx "I never forget a face,but in your case I`ll be glad to make an exception" Jeremy Taylor "He that loves not his wife and children feeds a lioness at home,and broods a nest of sorrows" Oscar Wilde "There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about" Genesis 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth." Caddyshack 1980 "Aw, this is the worst lookin` hat I ever saw! What, when you buy a hat like this, I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you, though." Thomas menino "And for the city`s birthday, we will host events in every neighborhood of the city, inviting all of our residents to share in the celebration of Boston`s great epic - the story of neighbors who support one another where it matters most." William Arthur Ward "A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life" Helen rowland "Falling in love consists merely in uncorking the imagination and bottling the common sense" Gertrude stein "I know what Germans are. They are a funny people. They are always choosing someone to lead them in a direction which they do not want to go." Groucho Marx "All people are born alike,except Republicans and Democrats" Anais nin "The personal life deeply lived always expands into truths beyond itself." Cesare pavese "Life is pain and the enjoyment of love is an anesthetic" Henry ward beecher "We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves" Helen rowland "To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all" Chris rock "Karaoke isn`t fair when you`re a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I`m a professional funny guy." Joseph Conrad "Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life" E. B. White "Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog;Few people are interested and the frog dies of it" Molly ivins "And the funny thing is, I`ve always been an optimist - it`s practically a congenital disorder with me." Lana turner "A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." Easy rider 1969 "We blew it." Ville valo "Falling in love is the best way to kill your heart because then it`s not yours anymore. It`s laid in a coffin, waiting to be cremated" W. h. auden "A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language" William Congreve "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,nor hell a fury like a woman scorned" Jane wagner "When we talk to God, we`re praying. When God talks to us, we`re schizophrenic." Christopher marlowe "Above our life we love a steadfast friend" Edward abbey "Love implies anger. The man who is angered by nothing cares about nothing" Psalms 9:1 "...I will praise thee, O LORD, with my whole heart; I will shew forth all thy marvellous works." Keenen ivory wayans "I think a lot comes from having the experience of doing stand-up comedy. It allows you to figure out the psychology of an audience; what things are funny and not." Ridley scott "I knew exactly what to do on Alien, it was funny." Miguel de unamuno "Love is the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion" William shakespeare "And this, our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything." Stephen Vincent Benét "Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day, in all the thousand small uncaring ways" Sam Ewing "Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair" Theodore roosevelt "The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life." Romans 12:2 "And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." The boys from brazil 1978 "You freaked-out maniac!" Vincent Van Gogh "In a painting I want to say something comforting" Quintus Tullius Cicero "During war,the laws are silent" Ralph waldo emerson "As soon as there is life there is danger." Bruce Springsteen "Blind faith in your leaders or in anything will get you killed" Marc chagall "Only love interests me, and I am only in contact with things that revolve around love" Wayne dyer "When I chased after money, I never had enough. When I got my life on purpose and focused on giving of myself and everything that arrived into my life, then I was prosperous." George Washington "Arbitrary power is most easily established on the ruins of liberty abused to licentiousness" Thomas Pynchon "If they can get you asking the wrong questions,they don`t have to worry about answers" Field of dreams 1989 "If you build it, he will come." Charles lamb "New Year`s Day is every man`s birthday." Joel osteen "Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you`re going to live your life." Martin luther king, jr. "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend" Rabindranath tagore "Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky." Eddie Cantor "A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers" James herriot "If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans" Patton 1970 "I love it. God help me, I do love it so. I love it more than my life." The adventures of baron munchausen 1988 "It wasn`t just a story, was it?" Key largo 1948 "One thing I can`t stand, it`s a dame that`s drunk." James Reston "In any war,the first casualty is common sense,and the second is free and open discussion" Sleeper 1973 "That`s a big chicken." Pam Brown "A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small,silly presents every so often,just to save it from drying out completely" Buddha "To be idle is a short road to death and to be diligent is a way of life; foolish people are idle, wise people are diligent." The warriors 1979 "Can you dig it?" Charlie chaplin "Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." Rebecca west "Life ought to be a struggle of desire toward adventures whose nobility will fertilize the soul." Lou holtz "If you`re bored with life - you don`t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things - you don`t have enough goals." Joan rivers "Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you`re funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you." Sen. Hiram Johnson "The first casualty when war comes is the truth" Lucille ball "Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead." Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls "Love one another but make not a bond of love" Philip seymour hoffman "People used to be funny about approaching me, but now they seem to think I`m as sane as anyone who`s done what I`ve done in movies can be." Kehlog Albran "Even the best of friends cannot attend each other`s funeral" Glen hansard "You know, albums are a funny thing. They`re not like an intellectual decision. It`s a collection of your kind of musings." Shirley maclaine "It`s useless to hold a person to anything he says while he`s in love, drunk, or running for office" Ralph waldo emerson "All mankind love a lover" The love bug 1968 "We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in." Albert Einstein "He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake,since for him the spinal cord would suffice" Colin Powell "Legislators: Rape their wives and do two years. Kill their children and do five years. Steal their money and kiss your ass goodbye" Oscar wilde "If you are not too long, I will wait here for you all my life." Keanu reeves "Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things" Michael jordan "I`d like to be settled into somewhat of a normal life. Somewhat. I know it`s never going to be completely normal." White heat 1949 "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." Alison sweeney "It`s funny because I`m a sucker for glitz and glitter when it comes to clothes and nail polish, but with my makeup, I`m more comfortable with a natural look. It feels more like me." The maltese falcon 1941 "That`s wonderful sir, wonderful. I do like a man who tells you right out he`s looking out for himself. Don`t we all? I don`t trust a man who says he`s not." Ralph waldo emerson "It is not length of life, but depth of life." Caroline rhea "Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they`re home. I`m that way at Saks." George W. Bush "I just want you to know that,when we talk about war,we`re really talking about peace" Tommy chong "The funny thing is, Dennis Miller got me back into comedy." Henry ford "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young." Anthony Gregory "Brute force is not our salvation,especially as directed by State central planning and done with little regard for the innocents.." Paulo coelho "Love is a trap. When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadows" Amelia earhart "The more one does and sees and feels, the more one is able to do, and the more genuine may be one`s appreciation of fundamental things like home, and love, and understanding companionship" Barbara Bush "I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my children,they just about throw up" Janeane garofalo "I actually was class clown, but I don`t know how that happened because I`ve never been considered an outwardly funny person-as the people in this room will attest." Gone with the wind 1939 "No, I don`t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing badly. That`s what`s wrong with you. You should be kissed - and often, and by someone who knows how." J. Ramsay MacDonald "We have all taken risks in the making of war. Isn`t it time that we should take risks to secure peace" Victor hugo "I love all men who think, even those who think otherwise than myself" Abraham lincoln "All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind." Julia roberts "True love doesn`t come to you it has to be inside you" Christopher walken "I always like to watch comics and it`s interesting that you can tell if someone`s funny in 10 seconds." Some like it hot 1959 "Now you`ve done it! Now you have done it!...You tore off one of my chests." Maya angelou "I`ve learned that you shouldn`t go through life with a catcher`s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back." Jim Fiebig "Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone" Ronald reagan "One picture is worth 1,000 denials." Ursula andress "I take care of my flowers and my cats. And enjoy food. And that`s living." Colin Powell "War should be the politics of last resort. And when we go to war,we should have a purpose that our people understand and support" Ramman Kenoun "Conflict is the criminals` paradise; it is the only time when killing is allowed,theft is tolerated,and rape is forgiven" Dwight D. Eisenhower "I think that people want peace so much that one of these days government had better get out of their way and let them have it" Cathy guisewite "Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups" Mike wallace "As I approach my 88th birthday, it`s become apparent to me that my eyes and ears, among other appurtenances, aren`t quite what they used to be. The prospect of long flights to wherever in search of whatever are not quite as appealing." Marianne williamson "We can always choose to perceive things differently. You can focus on what`s wrong in your life, or you can focus on what`s right." Margaret Mead "As long as any adult thinks that he,like the parents and teachers of old,can become introspective,invoking his own youth to understand the youth before him,he is lost" Johnny Castle "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Hebrews 10:25 "Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching." Henry a. kissinger "Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative." Khalil gibran "Love... it surrounds every being and extends slowly to embrace all that shall be" Psalms 119:105 "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." Alfred Hitchcock "Luck is everything,My good luck in life was to be a really frightened person. I`m fortunate to be a coward,to have a low threshold of fear,because a hero couldn`t make a good suspense film" Eph 2:9 "not by works, so that no one can boast." Aristotle "The state comes into existence for the sake of life and continues to exist for the sake of good life." Anatole france "All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." Justin Raimondo "We have to show the American People that war is not patriotic" Simone de beauvoir "I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom." Rom 10:17 "Consequently, faith comes from hearing the message, and the message is heard through the word of Christ." Aurora greenway shirley maclaine in terms of endearment 1983 "My daughter is in pain...Give my daughter the shot!" Jim carrey "My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it. And laugh." Ramman Kenoun "Patriotism lies not in blind obedience to authority,but in the desire to search for the truth" Don rickles "Some people say funny things, but I say things funny." Arthur conan doyle "I consider that a man`s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose." Sid Caesar "Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end" H. l. mencken "Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country, it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it" Buddha "To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one`s own in the midst of abundance." George eliot "Little children are still the symbol of the eternal marriage between love and duty" Philippians 1:3 "I thank my God upon every remembrance of you..." The ten commandments 1956 "So let it be written, so let it be done." Ian mcewan "I actually find novels that are determined to be funny at every turn quite oppressive." Wallace shawn "I was making my living from a joke about my appearance that I didn`t understand, and in a way still don`t, because when I look in a mirror it doesn`t seem funny to me." Carl jung "The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases." Euripides "It`s not beauty but fine qualities,my girl,that keep a husband" Terms of endearment 1983 "Mama, that`s the first time I stopped hugging first. I like that." Buddha "In the sky, there is no distinction of east and west; people create distinctions out of their own minds and then beleive them to be true" Joseph de Maistre "Every nation has the government it deserves" Simone Weil "Modern war appears as a struggle led by all the State apparatuses and their general staffs against all men old enough to bear arms.." Tom baker "It`s funny, in literature no one ever goes to the lavatory." Night of the living dead 1968 "They`re coming to get you, Barbra." Gal 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness," Steve martin "Chaos in the midst of chaos isn`t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is." The magnificent seven 1960 "The old man was right, only the farmers won. We lost. We`ll always lose." Oscar wilde "To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance" Bertrand Russell "Patriotism is the willingness to kill and be killed for trivial reasons." The abominable dr. phibes 1971 "Well, he`ll be working on it, wherever he is." Dalai lama "All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives" Lillie langtry "I do not regret one moment of my life." Mo rocca "The most important thing is to write material that YOU think is funny. If you don`t think it`s funny, but you`re convinced that other people will think it is, well they won`t." Albert Einstein "As far as I`m concerned,I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." Benjamin franklin "If you would be loved, love, and be loveable" Andre Maurois "Growing old is no more than a bad habit which a busy person has no time to form" Will smith "As a child, I watched `Dallas` and that was my vision for my life for as long as I could remember." John Cory "There is no morality in war. Morality is the privilege of those judging from the distance. War is only death and destruction.." Leo tolstoy "The changes in our life must come from the impossibility to live otherwise than according to the demands of our conscience not from our mental resolution to try a new form of life." The palm beach story 1942 "There are a lot of inconveniences to yachting that most people don`t know anything about." Friedrich nietzsche "We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving." Swedish Proverb "Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow" Dorothy Thompson "Peace,is the product of Faith,Strength,Energy,Will,Sympathy,Justice,Imagination,and the triumph of principle" The robe 1953 "He forgave you from the cross. Can I do less?" Sir Peter Ustinov "As for being a General,well,at the age of four with paper hats and wooden swords,we`re all Generals. Only some of us never grow out of it" Sigmund freud "Love and work... work and love, that`s all there is" Pat and mike 1952 "Not much meat on her, but what`s there is choice (pronounced cherce." Donna tartt "I believe, in a funny way, the job of the novelist is to be out there on the fringes and speaking for an experience that has not really been spoken for." Stephen king "I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses." Tom robbins "We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love" Oprah winfrey "I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly." Paulina porizkova "My first recognition of age setting in was exactly on my 36th birthday. I have no idea why, on this day of all days, I looked in the mirror and realized my face no longer looked young." Max lucado "You change your life by changing your heart." Christopher meloni "I think Chris Rock at the Oscars was a great example. I thought that was intellectually hilarious. The Gap starts a war with Banana Republic... That to me was funny." Charley Reese "The truth is that neither British nor American imperialism was or is idealistic. It has always been driven by economic or strategic interests" Bertrand Russell "So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence." Caddyshack 1980 "Hey, everybody, we`re all gonna get laid." George bernard shaw "Home life is no more natural to us than a cage is natural to a cockatoo." Meet me in st. louis 1944 "I can`t believe it. Right here where we live - right here in St. Louis." Alice Roosevelt Longworth "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what`s empty. Empty what`s full. Scratch where it itches" Woody Allen "How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?" Alfred Adler "To all those who walk the path of human cooperation war must appear loathsome and inhuman" Psycho 1960 "Well, a boy`s best friend is his mother." Thomas Jefferson "Peace and abstinence from European interferences are our objects,and so will continue while the present order of things in America remain uninterrupted" Richard bach "Every person, all the events of your life are there because you have drawn them there. What you choose to do with them is up to you." Senator Robert M. La Follette "Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely" Winston Churchill "When you are winning a war almost everything that happens can be claimed to be right and wise" Natalie portman "I don`t love studying. I hate studying. I like learning. Learning is beautiful" William arthur ward "Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting." Samuel smiles "Life will always be to a large extent what we ourselves make it." Jessica rabbit kathleen turner in who framed roger rabbit 1988 "I`m not bad. I`m just drawn that way." Groucho Marx "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member" Ludwig von Mises "Wars of aggression are popular nowadays with those nations convinced that only victory and conquest could improve their material well-being" Arnold schwarzenegger "I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun." H. jackson brown, jr. "You must take action now that will move you towards your goals. Develop a sense of urgency in your life." Samuel taylor coleridge "Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy, or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other, and both together make up one whole" The rocky horror picture show 1975 "Say! Any of you guys know how to Madison?" Lord byron "Yes, love indeed is light from heaven; A spark of that immortal fire with angels shared, by Allah given to lift from earth our low desire" Play clip excerpt: "...Father to a murdered son. Husband to a murdered wife. And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next." Leo tolstoy "If so many men, so many minds, certainly so many hearts, so many kinds of love" Ruth Rendell "I`ve had two proposals since I`ve been a widow. I am a wonderful catch,you know. I have a lot of money" Clue 1985 "He was always a rather stupidly optimistic man. I mean, I`m afraid it came as a great shock to him when he died..." Lewis black "All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911." John Keats "If poetry comes not as naturally as the leaves to a tree, it better not come at all" Charlie chaplin "What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning." Jennifer aniston "I read a lot of scripts that I just don`t find very funny." Abraham Lincoln "America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter,and lose our freedoms,it will be because we destroyed ourselves" Titanic 1997 "I`m the king of the world!" Jonathan Winters "I couldn`t wait for success,so I went ahead without it" Lisa loeb "When someone asks if you`d like cake or pie, why not say you want cake and pie?" Euripides "There is just one life for each of us: our own." My fair lady 1964 "The rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain." All about eve 1950 "What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin` at her rear end." Denis waitley "A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown." Mahatma Gandhi "There is no way to peace. Peace is the way" Scott thompson "When I was younger I wanted to be a big movie star who`d get to be funny on talk shows and then I wanted to retire and write science fiction." David Hume "The heights of popularity and patriotism are still the beaten road to power and tyranny.." Socrates "Beware the barrenness of a busy life." Rick springfield "The first guitar I ever got was for my 13th birthday." Paris hilton "The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday." Jean Renoir "In this world, there is one terrible thing, and that is that everyone has his reasons" Alfred de musset "One must not trifle with love" Thomas Jefferson "Conquest is not in our principles. It is inconsistent with our government" Vladimir nabokov "Life is a great sunrise. I do not see why death should not be an even greater one." W. clement stone "Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity." Oscar wilde "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead." Marcus aurelius "Execute every act of thy life as though it were thy last." Edward Everett "Education is a better safeguard of liberty than a standing army" 1 cor 6:19 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own;" Thomas Jefferson "I hope our wisdom will grow with our power,and teach us,that the less we use our power the greater it will be" Erma bombeck "Children make your life important." Bertrand Russell "The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others." Greg kinnear "I can`t not find humor in elements of most parts of life, but at the same time nothing ever seems perpetually funny to me." Baltasar gracian "Friendship multiplies the good of life and divides the evil." Socrates "The end of life is to be like God, and the soul following God will be like Him." Michael jordan "I want to wake up every day and do whatever comes in my mind, and not feel pressure or obligations to do anything else in my life." Rowan atkinson "No, no, I was only funny on stage, really. I, I, think I was funny as a person toward my classmates when I was very young. You know, when I was a child, up to about the age of 12." Eminem "Honestly, I`d love to be remembered as one of the best to ever pick up a mic, but if I`m doing my part to lessen some racial tension I feel good about what I`m doing" Ball of fire 1941 "I`m going to show you what yum-yum is. Here`s yum. And here`s the other yum. And here`s yum-yum." Stagecoach 1939 "Well, they`re saved from the blessings of civilization." 1 thessalonians 1:5 "For our gospel came not unto you in word only, but also in power, and in the Holy Ghost, and in much assurance; as ye know what manner of men we were among you for your sake." Ralph Bunche "There are no warlike people--just warlike leaders" Risky business 1983 "(later, in voice-overMy name is Joel Goodsen. I deal in human fulfillment. I grossed over eight thousand dollars in one night. Time of your life, huh kid?" Roy orbison "I may be a living legend, but that sure don`t help when I`ve got to change a flat tire." On golden pond 1981 "Listen to me, mister. You`re my knight in shining armor. Don`t you forget it. You`re gonna get back on that horse and I`m gonna be right behind you, holding on tight and away we`re gonna go, go, go!" Antoine de saint-exupery "For true love is inexhaustible; the more you give, the more you have. And if you go to draw at the true fountainhead, the more water you draw, the more abundant is its flow" Edmund Burke "Tyrants seldom want pretexts" Apocalypse now 1979 "I love the smell of napalm in the morning...smells like...victory." Rear Admiral Gene R. LaRocque "War has become a spectator sport for Americans" Marcus aurelius "Adapt yourself to the things among which your lot has been cast and love sincerely the fellow creatures with whom destiny has ordained that you shall live" Jimi hendrix "The time I burned my guitar it was like a sacrifice. You sacrifice the things you love. I love my guitar" Niccolo machiavelli "Men shrink less from offending one who inspires love than one who inspires fear" Ellen Key "The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being" Annette funicello "In 1993 my birthday present was a star on Hollywood`s Walk of Fame." William Ralph Inge "A man may build himself a throne of bayonets,but he cannot sit on it" The jerk 1979 "Huh? I am not a bum. I`m a jerk...I once had wealth, power, and the love of a beautiful woman. Now, I only have two things: my friends and, uh, my thermos." Dr. Squid "He who hesitates is probably smart... or maybe stapled to the floor" John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." Rupert grint "I like all Jim Carrey films. They`re really funny." Mindy kaling "Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It`s the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don`t like at work where you stop everything to sing `Happy Birthday` to someone. I feel like that`s for children." Now, voyager 1942 "Shall we just have a cigarette on it?" Walt Disney "Movies can and do have tremendous influence in shaping young lives in the realm of entertainment towards the ideals and objectives of normal adulthood." Maurice maeterlinck "When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough" Mike mills "It`s funny now how much we look at - whatever you want to call it: art, design, culture stuff, film - online, and how in the online world, you`re instantly global." Liv Tyler "I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You`re young enough to get away with things,but you`re old enough,too" Ian hislop "My mother was a terrific force in my life. Wartime-generation woman, hadn`t gone to university but should have done. Was very funny, very verbal, very clever, very witty." Thomas Jefferson "The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive" Terry Liberty Parker "When people have friends and customers in other lands,they tend to take a dim view of their government dropping bombs on them" Poltergeist 1982 "They`re here!" Mary Schmich "Like many women my age,I am 28 years old" Unknown "Liberty is the right to choose. Freedom is the result of the right choice" Adlai tevenson "A free society is a place where it`s safe to be unpopular" George Christop Lichtenberg "A book is a mirror; if an ass peers into it, you can`t expect an apostle to look out" Lord byron "Absence - that common cure of love" All about eve 1950 "I wouldn`t worry too much about your heart. You can always put that award where your heart ought to be." The princess bride 1987 "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die!" Major Ralph Peters,US Military "The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault" Lydia Sicher "As long as we can talk with people,as long as one can keep the guns quiet,one has a chance" Thomas merton "Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward" Jerry seinfeld "I think it`s funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive." Pope Paul VI "In youth the days are short and the years are long. In old age the years are short and day`s long" Hermione Gingold "A diet is when you watch what you eat and wish you could eat what you watch" Joshua 1:9 "Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest." Mark Twain "Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to" A streetcar named desire 1951 "Hey Stell - Lahhhhh! Hey, Stell - Lahhhh!" The king and i 1956 "When I shall sit, you shall sit. When I shall kneel, you shall kneel. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera." The deer hunter 1978 "You have to think about one shot. One shot is what it`s all about. The deer has to be taken with one shot. I try to tell people that - they don`t listen." Theodore Roosevelt "It is unpatriotic not to tell the truth,whether about the president or anyone else" Aristotle "Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies" Herbert hoover "All men are equal before fish." Martin Luther King,Jr. "I have condemned any organizer of war,regardless of his rank or nationality" Bette Midler "After thirty, a body has a mind of its own" George Washington "My first wish is to see this plague of mankind,war,banished from the earth" Play clip excerpt: "When you`re back in England with the fleet again, you`ll hear the hue and cry against me. From now on, they`ll spell mutiny with my name." Unknown "For those who fight for it, life has a flavor the sheltered will never know" Coming to america 1988 "The royal penis is clean, your Highness!" E. joseph cossman "The best way to remember your wife`s birthday is to remember it once." Blazing saddles 1974 "Is it twue what they say about the way you people are gifted? (sound of zipper being opened Oh, it`s twue. It`s twue. It`s twue, it`s twue!" Proverbs 18:10 "The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runneth into it, and is safe." George Orwell "War against a foreign country only happens when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it" The good earth 1937 "O-Lan, you are the earth." Phyllis diller "The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron." Daniel Dennett "Hard reality has a way of cramping your style" William feather "One of the funny things about the stock market is that every time one person buys, another sells, and both think they are astute." Ronald reagan "If we love our country, we should also love our countrymen" Georges Clemenceau "War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men" Midnight cowboy 1969 "Uh, well, sir, I-I ain`t a for-real cowboy. But I am one helluva stud." Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "The next war,may well bury Western civilization forever" Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon "Sharpness is a state of mind." Margaret cho "Interventions are really emotionally exhausting and I would never ever want to have one. In the same way, I would never want to have a surprise birthday party. That would be horrible." The life of emile zola 1937 "But what does it matter if an individual is shattered, if only Justice is resurrected?" Emmanuelle chriqui "I appreciate humor so much, but I`m actually not a funny girl." James Bond "Bond. James Bond." Honore de balzac "Love may be or it may not, but where it is, it ought to reveal itself in its immensity" George Herbert "Living well is the best revenge" Shirin Ebadi "Democracy is not an incident that happens overnight,nor a gift that America can give to the world. It is a culture which needs peace to evolve" Mae West "He`s the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of" Cabaret 1972 "Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome." Tom hiddleston "Haters never win. I just think that`s true about life, because negative energy always costs in the end." Francois truffaut "When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when the same things are funny and melancholic at the same time, it`s just wonderful." Ed wood 1994 "Are you people insane? I`m the director. I make the casting decisions around here." Tupac shakur "I just don`t know how to deal with so many people giving me that much affection. I never had that in my life." Wayne dyer "There is no scarcity of opportunity to make a living at what you love; there`s only scarcity of resolve to make it happen" Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it." Bertrand russell "The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." Fred allen "I don`t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I`m the sap." Mark Twain "Be good and you will be lonesome" Thomas Jefferson "The spirit of this country is totally adverse to a large military force" Victor hugo "Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise" Ashleigh Brilliant "I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it" John cheever "The deep joy we take in the company of people with whom we have just recently fallen in love is undisguisable" Ray bradbury "Love. Fall in love and stay in love. Write only what you love, and love what you write. The key word is love. You have to get up in the morning and write something you love, something to live for" Bertrand russell "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness" Laurence sterne "I take a simple view of life. It is keep your eyes open and get on with it." Elie wiesel "Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing." Ramman Kenoun "The only antidote to the poison of war is the public`s courage to disagree with their leader" John Fitzgerald Kennedy "And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country" Ray Prince "Do good by stealth" Mark Twain "Be loyal to your country always,and to the government only when it deserves it" Garry shandling "Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders." Hannah Arendt "Although tyranny,may successfully rule over foreign peoples,it can stay in power only if it destroys first of all the national institutions of its own people" Billy wilder "If you`re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they`ll kill you." Alien 1979 "This is Ripley, last survivor of the Nostromo, signing off." Logan Kodysz "How does one prevail in war? Both sides have already lost" Blazing saddles 1974 "Does anybody got a dime?...Somebody`s gotta go back and get a s--tload of dimes." Robert Anderson "In every marriage more than a week old,there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find,and continue to find,grounds for marriage" David spade "It`s funny because it`s funny." Groucho Marx "I`ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn`t it" James denton "The promos with all of the beautiful women probably attracted some men, but the mystery story line is pretty cool. It`s got that dark edge, and people will watch anything funny." Bertrand Russell "It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this." George McGovern "I`m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in" Thomas carlyle "Love is the only game that is not called on account of darkness" Ronald Reagan "A people free to choose will always choose peace" The princess and the pirate 1944 "That is the last picture I do for Goldwyn." Chris rock "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments." Wanda sykes "I`m really funny now." Samantha barks "I`ve looked after my money. As I started working around my third birthday, my first check went straight to the bank." Robert frost "Education doesn`t change life much. It just lifts trouble to a higher plane of regard." Maya angelou "At fifteen life had taught me undeniably that surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance, especially if one had no choice." Norman Cousins "The only security for the American people today,or for any people,is to be found through the control of force rather than the use of force" Thomas jefferson "The care of human life and happiness, and not their destruction, is the first and only object of good government." Lucille ball "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world" James thurber "Love is what you`ve been through with somebody" Ella fitzgerald "Just don`t give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don`t think you can go wrong" William Shakespeare "O,it is excellent To have a giants strength! But it is tyrannous To use it like a giant" Psalms 104:24 "O LORD, how manifold are thy works! in wisdom hast thou made them all: the earth is full of thy riches." Mark Twain "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don`t mind, it doesn`t matter" Marcus aurelius "The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it." Who framed roger rabbit 1988 "I`m not bad, I`m just drawn that way." Dune 1984 "And how can this be? For he is the Kwisatz Haderach!" Unknown "Insanity: a perfectly rational adjustment to the insane world" Jas 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective." Mignon mclaughlin "For the happiest life, days should be rigorously planned, nights left open to chance." Kevin james "There`s no better feeling in the world than a warm pizza box on your lap." How green was my valley 1941 "Men like my father cannot die. They are with me still - real in memory as they were in flesh, loving and beloved forever." Washington irving "Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart" Lenny kravitz "I`m half Jewish, I`m half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It`s like, What is he doing?" The wild bunch 1969 "We`ve got to start thinkin` beyond our guns. Those days are closin` fast." David frost "Don`t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally" Bible, matthew 10:22 "He that endureth to the end shall be saved" Voltaire "God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Pietro aretino "I love you, and because I love you, I would sooner have you hate me for telling you the truth than adore me for telling you lies" John F. Kennedy "Mankind must put an end to war,or war will put an end to mankind" Rob corddry "If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer." Adlai tevenson "In America, anybody can be president. That`s one of the risks you take" Antoine de saint-exupery "Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction" Arsenic and old lace 1944 "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." H. l. mencken "Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence" Adam carolla "It`s funny when you`re a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything." Edgar allan poe "The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" Theodore roosevelt "Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is the chance to work hard at work worth doing." I. F. Stone "Every government is run by liars and nothing they say should be believed" 20 million miles to earth 1957 "Why is it always, always so costly for Man to move from the present to the future?" Khalil gibran "And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" Robin williams "I`m sorry, if you were right, I`d agree with you." John Galsworthy "We are all familiar with the argument: Make war dreadful enough,and there will be no war. And we none of us believe it" Bill Vaughan "A citizen ofAmerica will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won`t cross the street to vote in a national election" Atlantic city 1980 "Yes, it used to be beautiful - what with the rackets, whoring, guns." Bible, luke 11:52 "Woe unto you, lawyers! for ye have taken away the key of knowledge: ye entered not in yourselves, and them that were entering in ye hindered" Ramman Kenoun "Killing someone is the ultimate crime,while on the other hand,killing someone in uniform is fulfillment of duty" Mahatma Gandhi "Victory attained by violence is tantamount to a defeat,for it is momentary" Gordon Gekko "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.[18]" Albert Einstein "Heroism on command,senseless violence,and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism,how passionately I hate them!" Ben barnes "I think if actors don`t think of themselves as funny in real life they think they can`t do comedy." Charlie sheen "Dad almost died of a heart attack in the middle of making Apocalypse Now, the biggest movie of his life. It doesn`t make you want to jump into that business." Ronald Reagan "Our reluctance for conflict should not be misjudged as a failure of will" Peter Ueberroth "Baseball is a public trust. Players turn over,owners turn over and certain commissioners turn over. But baseball goes on" Dr. Ivan Eland "The best defense is no offense" Dr. strangelove, or: 1964 "Well, boys. I reckon this is it. Nuclear combat- toe to toe with the Ruskies!" Johann wolfgang von goethe "We can`t form our children on our own concepts; we must take them and love them as God gives them to us" Sir Peter Ustinov "Terrorism is the war of the poor,and war is the terrorism of the rich" Marilyn monroe "Sometimes I feel my whole life has been one big rejection." Josh billings "Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope" Elvis Presley "I don`t know anything about music. In my line you don`t have to" Thich Nhat Hahn "Working for peace in the future is to work for peace in the present moment" Honore de balzac "A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea" Rihanna "I`d love to date somebody cool, fun, funny." Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Phil 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Jonathan winters "My mother and father were very strange people. They tried to be funny which is always very sad to me." Bible, joel 2:28 "Your sons and your daughters shall prophesy, your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions" Bible, 1 corinthians 10:13 "God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" The little shop of horrors 1960 "I didn`t mean it." William ellery channing "Faith is love taking the form of aspiration" J. b. priestley "She was a handsome woman of forty-five and would remain so for many years." E. m. forster "The main facts in human life are five: birth, food, sleep, love and death" Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee." Robert frost "Poetry is a way of taking life by the throat." Amanda seyfried "The funny thing is, the girls that I`m always up against for roles are pretty nice and cool, like Emma Watson. She`s awesome." John dryden "But love`s a malady without a cure" John 5:24 "Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." Michael Corleone from "The Godfather: Part III" "Politics and crime are the same thing" Gary ryan blair "We only live once, but once is enough if we do it right. Live your life with class, dignity, and style so that an exclamation, rather than a question mark signifies it!" The wizard of oz 1939 "I`ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!" John burroughs "For anything worth having one must pay the price; and the price is always work, patience, love, self-sacrifice - no paper currency, no promises to pay, but the gold of real service" Lucius annaeus seneca "While we are postponing, life speeds by." Ken kesey "People think love is an emotion. Love is good sense" Flashdance 1983 "When you give up your dreams, you die." The front 1976 "I don`t recognize the right of this committee to ask me these kind of questions. And furthermore, you can all go f--k yourselves." Winston Churchill "I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me" Woodrow Wilson "To fight,you must be brutal and ruthless,and the spirit of ruthless brutality will enter into the very fibre of national life.." William cowper "Variety`s the very spice of life, That gives it all its flavor." Joel coen "I`ve never really understood that. It`s a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable." Buddy hackett "As a child my family`s menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it." Mahatma gandhi "Man`s nature is not essentially evil. Brute nature has been know to yield to the influence of love. You must never despair of human nature" Groucho Marx "I,not events,have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead,tomorrow hasn`t arrived yet. I have just one day,today,and I`m going to be happy in it" Mark Twain "Few things are harder to put up with than a good example" Pink flamingos 1972 "Eggs! Eggs! Eggs!" Kristen stewart "It`s a funny thing: You want so badly for people to see what you do - you`re proud of it - and I like the effect that movies have on people. But the attention can also make me uncomfortable." Alanis morissette "We`ll love you just the way you are if you`re perfect." German proverb "A great war leaves the country with three armies,an army of cripples,an army of mourners,and an army of thieves" Lord Kitchener Horatio Herbert "Don`t talk to me about atrocities; all war is an atrocity" Guy johnson "My mother asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I said I wanted to read poetry with her." Martha plimpton "I watch things that are fun, or funny, or interesting." T.S. Eliot "Justice itself tends to be corrupted by political passion" Isaac asimov "The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not `Eureka!` but `That`s funny...`" Proverbs 17:22 "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." The caine mutiny 1954 "Mr. Maryk, you may tell the crew for me there are four ways of doing things on board my ship. The right way, the wrong way, the Navy way, and my way. (If They do things my way, we`ll get along." All about eve 1950 "Fasten your seatbelts. It`s going to be a bumpy night." Watch on the rhine 1943 "We`ve been shaken out of the magnolias." H. jackson brown, jr. "Life doesn`t require that we be the best, only that we try our best." Flip wilson "My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine." Marilyn Monroe "Before marriage,a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage,she has to hold him to make love to him" Young mr. lincoln 1939 "No, I think I might go on a piece. Maybe to the top of that hill." Zora neale hurston "It`s a funny thing, the less people have to live for, the less nerve they have to risk losing nothing." The lost weekend 1945 "What I`m trying to say is, `I`m not a drinker - I`m a drunk.`" Ludwig von Mises "The worst evils which mankind has ever had to endure were inflicted by bad governments" George bernard shaw "Life levels all men. Death reveals the eminent." Batman 1989 "I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman." James rollins "The turning point was when I hit my 30th birthday. I thought, if really want to write, it`s time to start. I picked up the book How to Write a Novel in 90 Days. The author said to just write three pages a day, and I figured, I can do this. I never got past Page 3 of that book." Charlie Chaplin "In the end, everything is a gag" Oscar wilde "The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life." Rabindranath tagore "I slept and dreamt that life was joy. I awoke and saw that life was service. I acted and behold, service was joy." Ellen Key "Love is moral even without legal marriage,but marriage is immoral without love" Ambrose Bierce "Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain" Joseph campbell "Love is a friendship set to music" Michael Parenti "The enormous gap between what US leaders do in the world and what Americans think their leaders are doing is one of the great propaganda accomplishments" Matt leblanc "I have funny bones. If there`s ever any kind of tension, I`ll always be the one to try and be funny to loosen things up." Thomas fuller "There is more pleasure in loving than in being beloved" Andrew Greely "Since the end of the World War II,the United States has fought three "small" wars,we lost all three of them and for the same reason--hubris" Lewis Grizzard "Instead of getting married again,I`m going to find a woman I don`t like and give her a house" John wooden "Passion is momentary; love is enduring" Mark twain "Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life." Jimmy fallon "I`m on so late I`m definitely the last seconds of anyone`s attention. So I just want to give them something dumb to laugh at, so they go, `That`s funny,` then fall asleep." Katharine hepburn "Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get - only with what you are expecting to give - which is everything" Eddie izzard "Never put a sock in a toaster." George W. Bush "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful,They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people,and neither do we" Albert Einstein "Nothing will end war unless the people themselves refuse to go to war" Olivia munn "If you think something`s funny, go with that. Most comedians pull jokes from a place of honesty." Charlie sheen "You either love or you hate. You live in the middle, you get nothing" Mother teresa "Intense love does not measure, it just gives" Robert louis stevenson "Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but of playing a poor hand well." Friedrich nietzsche "There is not enough love and goodness in the world to permit giving any of it away to imaginary beings" Anna torv "Everybody`s funny if you love them." Marge gunderson frances mcdormand in fargo 1996 "And I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper." Noel coward "I love criticism just so long as it`s unqualified praise" George bernard shaw "Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else" Night of the living dead 1968 "Yeah, they`re dead. They`re all messed up." Guy de Maupassant "Every government has as much of a duty to avoid war as a ship`s captain has to avoid a shipwreck" The bridge on the river kwai 1957 "But don`t you see. It`s a matter of principle. If we give in now, there`ll be no end to it. No...I`m adamant. I will not have an officer from my battalion working as a coolie!" Dane cook "I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don`t think I`m funny." Proverbs 14:31 "He who oppresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God" W. L. George "Wars teach us not to love our enemies,but to hate our allies" John F. Kennedy "The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie: deliberate,continued,and dishonest; but the myth: persistent,persuasive,and unrealistic" Jill clayburgh "I wasn`t very good about juggling family and my career. I was interested in who was coming to the children`s birthday party, what my son was writing. I was thinking about Legos." Bill maher "Men are only as loyal as their options." James Bond "A martini. Shaken, not stirred." Harvey fierstein "Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one`s definition of your life; define yourself." Phil 4:7 "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Bill cosby "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope" Todd solondz "So far, at least, I haven`t found a way to tell my kind of stories without making them both sad and funny." Ellen degeneres "I had everything I`d hoped for, but I wasn`t being myself. So I decided to be honest about who I was. It was strange: The people who loved me for being funny suddenly didn`t like me for being... me." Duel in the sun 1946 "You always said you could shoot. I never believed ya." J. Ramsay MacDonald "We shall never be able to effect physical disarmament until we have succeeded in effecting moral disarmament" Booker t. washington "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome." Charles Bukowski "Death meant little to me. It was the last joke in a series of bad jokes" Donald Rumsfeld "Death has a tendency to encourage a depressing view of war" Sun Tzu "All warfare is based on deception" Bill Cosby "Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older,I begin each day with coffee and obituaries" Lauryn hill "We can`t plan life. All we can do is be available for it." Mahatma Gandhi "Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood" Acts 4:12 "Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved." King kong 1933 "Oh, no. It wasn`t the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast." Victor hugo "Fashions have done more harm than revolutions." Alex forrest glenn close in fatal attraction 1987 "Bring the dog, I love animals. I`m a great cook." Albert Einstein "Concern for man and his fate must always form the chief interest of all technical endeavors. Never forget this in the midst of your diagrams and equations." Herodotus "In peace,sons bury their fathers; in war,fathers bury their sons" R. l. stine "I always just wanted to be funny. I never really planned to be scary." Bob marley "Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you`re living?" Frank sinatra "I`m not one of those complicated, mixed-up cats. I`m not looking for the secret to life... I just go on from day to day, taking what comes." Dave chappelle "I was doing sketches that were funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed." Acts 18:11 "So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching them the word of God." High noon 1952 "The judge has left town, Harvey`s quit, and I`m havin` trouble gettin` deputy(ies." Lena dunham "There`s always an article coming out, saying, `The new thing is funny women!`" H. L. Mencken "The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,all of them imaginary" Mark Twain "Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person" Paulo coelho "I`m not saying that love always takes you to heaven. Your life can become a nightmare. But that said, it is worth taking the risk" Emile zola "If you ask me what I came into this life to do, I will tell you: I came to live out loud." Stephen hopkins "I had a birthday one night on a farm we were shooting on. I walked into the tent, and there were 150 people waiting for me, all wearing masks of my face." Mother teresa "The hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread" Jerry seinfeld "You know you`re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It`s like, `See if you can blow this out.`" E. Merrill Root "Man is only happy as he finds a work worth doing, and does it well" George Washington "Observe good faith and justice toward all nations. Cultivate peace and harmony with all" Lee trevino "Only bad golfers are lucky. They`re the ones bouncing balls off trees, curbs, turtles and cars. Good golfers have bad luck. When you hit the ball straight, a funny bounce is bound to be unlucky." Marcus Tullius Cicero "Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey`s end." Pope john paul ii "Love is never defeated, and I could add, the history of Ireland proves it" The godfather, part 2 1974 "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." Peter Ustinov "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious" George bernard shaw "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing." Rainer maria rilke "Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack" Proverbs 22:1 "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold" Jasmine guy "If one is desperate for love, I suggest looking at one`s friends and family and see if love is all around. If not, get a new set of friends, a new family" Stage door 1937 "The calla lilies are in bloom again. Such a strange flower, suitable to any occasion. I carried them on my wedding day and now I place them here in memory of something that has died." Mary schmich "Like many women my age, I am 28 years old." Steve irwin "You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it`ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it`s not even funny." Michael mandelbaum "In my experience, it`s not just that serious books get a hearing on comedy shows. But serious books get a serious hearing, as well as a funny one, on comedy shows." Leo tolstoy "Without knowing what I am and why I am here, life is impossible." Sigmund freud "One is very crazy when in love" Apollo 13 1995 "Failure is not an option." Albert einstein "When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That`s relativity." Marcus tullius cicero "While there`s life, there`s hope." Bible, ecclesiastes 12:13 "Fear God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man" Thomas Hobbes "Force and fraud are in war the two cardinal virtues" Jose ortega y gasset "Life is a series of collisions with the future; it is not the sum of what we have been, but what we yearn to be." John wayne "Life is hard; it`s harder if you`re stupid." William Cowper "War`s a game,which,were their subjects wise,Kings would not play at" Vera Brittain "Modern war and modern civilisation are utterly incompatible,one or the other must go" Henry david thoreau "There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself." Goldfinger 1964 "You`re a woman of many parts, Pussy!" Mel brooks "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." Bette davis "Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I`m afraid it did." George m. cohan "Hurried and worried until we`re buried, and there`s no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all." Woody Allen "Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." Ashley smith "Life is full of beauty. Notice it. Notice the bumble bee, the small child, and the smiling faces. Smell the rain, and feel the wind. Live your life to the fullest potential, and fight for your dreams." Alexander Pope "They dream in courtship,but in wedlock wake" Frank sinatra "I`m for whatever gets you through the night." Bill cosby "Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." Jack byrnes robert de niro in meet the parents 2000 "...I have nipples, Greg. Could you milk me?" Henry Louis Mencken "Criticism is prejudice made plausible" Umberto Eco "But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma,a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth" Martin Luther King,Jr. "Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows" The wizard of oz 1939 "The Great Oz has spoken. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain... the... Great... er... Oz has spoken." Sophie ellis bextor "It`s funny how intimate it feels to get a text." Mildred pierce 1945 "Personally, Veda`s convinced me that alligators have the right idea. They eat their young." John C. Calhoun "It is harder to preserve than to obtain liberty" Marathon man 1976 "Is it safe?" The wolf man 1941 "Even a man who is pure in heart, And says his prayers by night, May become a wolf when the wolfbane blooms, And the autumn moon is bright." Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them." Rabindranath tagore "Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it" Duke of Wellington "Nothing except a battle lost can be half as melancholy as a battle won" Dale Carnegie "Flaming enthusiasm,backed up by horse sense and persistence,is the quality that most frequently makes for success" Robert benchley "Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of." Play clip excerpt: "-Play it once, Sam, for old times` sake...Play it, Sam. Play `As Time Goes By.`" Ice cube "Our records, if you have a dark sense of humor, were funny, but our records weren`t about comedy. They were about protests, fantasy, confrontation and all that." Marcus Aurelius "The opinion of 10,000 men is of no value if none of them know anything about the subject" Michael bergin "I wasn`t even 20 at the time, but it taught me something about drugs. They can take a good man, a warm, funny, loving family man, and turn him into a loser and worse." J. B. Priestley "Comedy,we may say,is society protecting itself,with a smile" Aristotle "Bashfulness is an ornament to youth,but a reproach to old age" E. W. Howe "Love affairs have always greatly interested me, but I do not greatly care for them in books or moving pictures. In a love affair, I wish to be the hero, with no audience present" Private joker matthew modine in full metal jacket 1987 "I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia. I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting and stimulating people of an ancient culture, and kill them." Psalms 24:1 "...The earth is the LORD`S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein." Horace "Life is largely a matter of expectation." George lopez "Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them." John Lennon "If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set,then there`d be peace" Tori spelling "It would be pretty funny to see a Beverly Hills white girl with mad rap skills." Albert Camus "It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners" Steve coogan "The trick is always to write in pairs because if at least two people find it funny, you`ve immediately halved the odds of it not being funny." Ludwig von Mises "Sovereignty must not be used for inflicting harm on anyone,whether citizen or foreigner" Ronald reagan "I know in my heart that man is good. That what is right will always eventually triumph. And there`s purpose and worth to each and every life." Khalil gibran "Your daily life is your temple and your religion. When you enter into it take with you your all." Benjamin franklin "A life of leisure and a life of laziness are two things. There will be sleeping enough in the grave." Alexis de Tocqueville "All those who seek to destroy the liberties of a democratic nation ought to know that war is the surest and shortest means to accomplish it" Casablanca 1942 "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." 1 john 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." Fried green tomatoes 1991 "Face it, girls, I`m older and I have more insurance." Ralph waldo emerson "People disparage knowing and the intellectual life, and urge doing. I am content with knowing, if only I could know." Erich fromm "Man`s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is. The most important product of his effort is his own personality." Saint augustine "He that is jealous is not in love" The godfather, part 2 1974 "Michael...we`re bigger than U.S. Steel." Hesiod "Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you; she is after your barn." Albert ellis "The art of love is largely the art of persistence" Maya angelou "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope" Charles r. swindoll "I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let`s face it, friends make life a lot more fun." Lenny bruce "Communism is like one big phone company." Edward Abbey "The tragedy of modern war is that the young men die fighting each other--instead of their real enemies back home in the capitals" Albert Einstein "An empty stomach is not a good political adviser." Jiddu krishnamurti "The flowering of love is meditation" Dwight D. Eisenhower "I hate war as only a soldier who has lived it can,only as one who has seen its brutality,its futility,its stupidity" Hannibal Lecter "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." Katharine hepburn "Only the really plain people know about love - the very fascinating ones try so hard to create an impression that they soon exhaust their talents" Howard Zinn "One certain effect of war is to diminish freedom of expression" Giada de laurentiis "When I was a kid, for my birthday every year, my mother made me pasta bechamel, which is rigatoni with a white cream sauce." John wooden "The most important thing in the world is family and love" Sons of the desert 1933 "Well, here`s another nice mess you`ve gotten me into!" Francois de la rochefoucauld "If we judge love by most of its effects, it resembles rather hatred than affection" Matthew 18:3 "And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven." Woody Allen "Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies." John 10:10 "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." Lao tzu "Life and death are one thread, the same line viewed from different sides." Albert einstein "Love is a better teacher than duty" Thomas Jefferson "A coward is much more exposed to quarrels than a man of spirit" Isaiah 41:13 "For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee." Michel gondry "At school I was very shy. I wasn`t funny really." Howard nemerov "I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier." Bobby darin "Any fool knows that bravado is always a cover-up for insecurity. That`s the truth. And on that note, I`ll say goodnight. God love you" Voltaire "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong" Voltaire "Love has features which pierce all hearts, he wears a bandage which conceals the faults of those beloved. He has wings, he comes quickly and flies away the same" Harold pinter "My second play, The Birthday Party, I wrote in 1958 - or 1957. It was totally destroyed by the critics of the day, who called it an absolute load of rubbish." Imitation of life 1959 "Mama, Mama, I didn`t mean it. I didn`t mean it. Mama, do you hear me, I`m sorry, I`m sorry, Mama. Mama, I did love you." Isa 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you." Martin Luther King,Jr. "If you succumb to the temptation of using violence in the struggle,your chief legacy to the future will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos" Donald trump "Everything in life is luck." Mark twain "Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." Claude chabrol "I love mirrors. They let one pass through the surface of things" Psalms 30:5 "For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Julie andrews "All love shifts and changes. I don`t know if you can be wholeheartedly in love all the time" Marie Beyle "The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same" Lord byron "Who loves, raves" William shakespeare "Love is not love that alters when it alteration finds" Henry ward beecher "Love cannot endure indifference. It needs to be wanted. Like a lamp, it needs to be fed out of the oil of another`s heart, or its flame burns low" William wordsworth "Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future." Robert browning "Take away love and our earth is a tomb" Carl sandburg "I`m an idealist. I don`t know where I`m going, but I`m on my way." Eleanor roosevelt "You can never really live anyone else`s life, not even your child`s. The influence you exert is through your own life, and what you`ve become yourself." Georges Clemenceau "It is far easier to make war than peace" Confucius "Death and life have their determined appointments; riches and honors depend upon heaven." Helen keller "Knowledge is love and light and vision" The thin man 1934 "My soul, woman, I give you three murders and you`re still not satisfied." Deuteronomy 31:6 "Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." Maya Angelou "Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean" Oprah winfrey "What I know is, is that if you do work that you love, and the work fulfills you, the rest will come" Dave grohl "There`s a big difference between falling in love with someone and falling in love with someone and getting married. Usually, after you get married, you fall in love with the person even more" Bill vaughan "Money won`t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem." Citizen kane 1941 "Throw that junk." Tom Stoppard "It`s better to be quotable than to be honest" Will smith "Throughout life people will make you mad, disrespect you and treat you bad. Let God deal with the things they do, cause hate in your heart will consume you too." Gloria stuart "I`m amazed. When I was 40, I thought I`d never make 50. And at 50 I thought the frosting on the cake would be 60. At 60, I was still going strong and enjoying everything." Robert james waller "Life is never easy for those who dream." Groucho marx "The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you`ve got it made." Tim heidecker "I`m always in situations where you can`t be funny, and yet I want to do it anyway." Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. "We must pursue peaceful end through peaceful means" Fight club 1999 "It`s only after we`ve lost everything that we`re free to do anything." Sarah silverman "I mean, I talk about being Jewish a lot. It`s funny because I do think of myself as Jewish ethnically, but I`m not religious at all. I have no religion." Chuck palahniuk "It`s funny how you never think about the women you`ve had. It`s always the ones who get away that you can`t forget." Robert browning "So, fall asleep love, loved by me... for I know love, I am loved by thee" Barbara de angelis "Marriage is not a noun; it`s a verb. It isn`t something you get. It`s something you do. It`s the way you love your partner every day" Erich fromm "Love is union with somebody, or something, outside oneself, under the condition of retaining the separateness and integrity of one`s own self" Heb 11:6 "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." Steve jobs "Woz is living his own life now. He hasn`t been around Apple for about five years. But what he did will go down in history." Galatians 6:9 "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Leo buscaglia "Love is always open arms. If you close your arms about love you will find that you are left holding only yourself" H. jackson brown, jr. "Love is when the other person`s happiness is more important than your own" Twentieth century 1934 "I close the iron door on you." Doug coupland "There`s nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It`s a total turn-off." Frederick Douglass "The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest,truthful,and virtuous" Stephen Vincent BenThe supreme excellence is to subde the armies of your enemies without even having to fight them "We thought,because we had power,we had wisdom" William shakespeare "If music be the food of love, play on" Rebecca 1940 "Last night, I dreamt I went to Manderley again...We can never go back to Manderley again. That much is certain." Lawrence welk "Never trust anyone completely but God. Love people, but put your full trust only in God" Johann wolfgang von goethe "To witness two lovers is a spectacle for the gods" Zig ziglar "You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations." 1 corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things." My favorite year 1982 "Damn you! I`m not an actor, I`m a movie star!" Wallis simpson "A woman`s life can really be a succession of lives, each revolving around some emotionally compelling situation or challenge, and each marked off by some intense experience." Lil wayne "Hate is only a form love that hasn`t found a way to express itself logically" Walter Scott "War is the only game in which both sides lose" Al gore "The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I`d been up all night inventing the Camcorder." Audrey hepburn "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other" Dirty dancing 1987 "Nobody puts Baby in a corner." Oliver wendell holmes "Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness" Hillary clinton "You don`t walk away if you love someone. You help the person" Don van vliet "Johnny Rotten. He`s a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he`d stand up and holler. He`s funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don`t think he`s a jerk because he isn`t." Shigeru miyamoto "Japanese people have a funny habit of abbreviating names." Woody Allen "If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank." Patricia Sun "War comes from our being immature,fearful,and injured,and not being able to concieve of other ways of solving problems" Martin luther king, jr. "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" Paul walker "You know, all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae" Proverbs 8:11 "For wisdom is better than rubies; and all the things that may be desired are not to be compared to it" Woody Allen "Most of the time I don`t have much fun. The rest of the time I don`t have any fun at all." John Cory "War is eternity jammed into frantic minutes that will fill a lifetime with dreams and nightmares" Mahatma gandhi "A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave" John updike "We are most alive when we`re in love" Soren kierkegaard "Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced." Isaac Asimov "It is not only the living who are killed in war" Eleanor roosevelt "When life is too easy for us, we must beware or we may not be ready to meet the blows which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor." Prov 3:6 "in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." James a. garfield "Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter." Hugh leonard "My life is every moment of my life. It is not a culmination of the past." Les brown "Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else." The thing from another world 1951 "An intellectual carrot! The mind boggles." Saint basil "A tree is known by its fruit; a man by his deeds. A good deed is never lost; he who sows courtesy reaps friendship, and he who plants kindness gathers love" Denis waitley "A life lived with integrity - even if it lacks the trappings of fame and fortune is a shining star in whose light others may follow in the years to come." St. Jerome "Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night" Robert a. heinlein "Sex without love is merely healthy exercise" William shakespeare "Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none" The princess bride 1987 "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." Jeff bridges "Do I have a long-term plan? Kind of. I have a general direction, I think. But it`s funny what comes down the pike." Alfred Hitchcock "Dialogue should simply be a sound among other sounds,just something that comes out of the mouths of people whose eyes tell the story in visual terms" Yes,Prime Minister UK TV Show "Politicians` Logic: Something must be done,this is something,therefore we must do it" George M. Cohan "My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you." Isa 40:31 "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 44:22 "I have blotted out, as a thick cloud, thy transgressions, and, as a cloud, thy sins: return unto me; for I have redeemed thee." She done him wrong 1933 "Why don`t you come up sometime and see me?" Psalms 108:3 "I will praise thee, O LORD, among the people: and I will sing praises unto thee among the nations." Mother teresa "Love is a fruit in season at all times, and within reach of every hand" Ludwig von Mises "If men do not now succeed in abolishing war,civilization and mankind are doomed" Thomas merton "A life is either all spiritual or not spiritual at all. No man can serve two masters. Your life is shaped by the end you live for. You are made in the image of what you desire." Sarah bernhardt "Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me" Pearl bailey "What the world really needs is more love and less paper work" Erich fromm "In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two" Groucho Marx "I`d never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member" Groucho Marx "Alimony is like buying hay for a dead horse" Bill Cosby "I don`t know the key to success,but the key to failure is trying to please everybody" Buddha "Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared." Mother teresa "Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own" Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "Even if we are spared destruction by war,our lives will have to change if we want to save life from self-destruction" Erma bombeck "A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday." George burns "If you live to be one hundred, you`ve got it made. Very few people die past that age." Henry ward beecher "Love is the river of life in the world" Marcus aurelius "The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature." Liev schreiber "The funny thing is that I write and I act a lot about being Jewish, but I don`t really think about it as a regular person." Soylent green 1973 "Soylent Green is people!" Ramman Kenoun "The soldier`s main enemy is not the opposing soldier,but his own commander" Top hat 1935 "You see, every once in a while, I...I suddenly find myself dancing." Stephen Fry "I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man,which is what they want" Horace "Remember when life`s path is steep to keep your mind even." Robert Higgs ",History shows that,(people can be deflected from their natural tendencies by artful propaganda,bogus crises,or other political trickery" Soren kierkegaard "Love is all, it gives all, and it takes all" Katherine Mansfield "I always felt that the great high privilege,relief and comfort of friendship was that one had to explain nothing" Pablo picasso "Love is the greatest refreshment in life." Jerry jack lemmon in some like it hot 1959 "Look at that! Look how she moves! That`s just like Jell-O on springs." Mommie dearest 1981 "No wire hangers. No wire hangers, EVER!" Zach braff "I had a very funny family." Sir Francis Bacon "Nothing doth more hurt in a state than that cunning men pass for wise" Patty duke "I joke around a lot about the manic times because they`re funny. We manics do outrageous things and it is part of our colorful nature." Charlie sheen "But you can`t focus on things that matter if all you`ve been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know." Amy poehler "I worked at an ice cream parlor called Chadwicks. We wore old-timey outfits and had to bang a drum, play a kazoo, and sing `Happy Birthday` to people while giving them free birthday sundaes. Lots of ice cream scooping and tips." Tucker carlson "Billy Tauzin is one of the most interesting people in Washington. He is smart, funny, and interesting." Julia louis-dreyfus "I have no agenda except to be funny. Neither I or the writers profess to offer any worldly wisdom." Groucho Marx "I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set,I go into the other room and read a book" The blues brothers 1980 "...And here is your receipt." Vera wang "The funny thing is that I`m the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who`s traveled with me. Normally, I`m in so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia!" Oscar wilde "There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it." Chuck palahniuk "Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home... it`s your responsibility to love it, or change it" Lord Byron "Wars a brain spattering windpipe splitting art" George orwell "Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion." Barbara Ehrenreich "No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent,rebellion,and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots" Sunset boulevard 1950 "You know, this floor used to be wood, but I had it changed. Valentino said, `there`s nothing like tile for a tango.`" George W. Bush "Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don`t attack each other. Free nations don`t develop weapons of mass destruction" James 4:7 "Submit yourselves therefore to God.Resist the devil, and he will flee from you." Oprah winfrey "The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams." Jiddu krishnamurti "Your belief in God is merely an escape from your monotonous, stupid and cruel life." Arnold schwarzenegger "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, Thyroid problem?" Doug coupland "Handmade presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time." Rachel dratch "Many comedians have a dark side that lets them take a negative thing and turn it funny." Napoleon bonaparte "The extent of your consciousness is limited only by your ability to love and to embrace with your love the space around you, and all it contains" George mcgovern "The highest patriotism is not a blind acceptance of official policy, but a love of one`s country deep enough to call her to a higher plain" Friedrich nietzsche "Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?" Issac Asimov "Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent" Drew barrymore "Love is the hardest habit to break, and the most difficult to satisfy" Jordin sparks "It`s funny. When I saw the script in my inbox and it said `Sparkle,` I thought, `For real? It`s really called `Sparkle?`` I was wondering, too, how does `Jordin Sparks as Sparkle` sound?" Evan davis "Being funny, it turns out, is like being a bank. It`s a confidence trick. As long as everyone believes in you, you are fine." Bruce lee "If you love life, don`t waste time, for time is what life is made up of." Harold ramis "Acting is all about big hair and funny props... All the great actors knew it. Olivier knew it, Brando knew it." Alexander pope "No woman ever hates a man for being in love with her, but many a woman hate a man for being a friend to her" Jim carrey "Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes." General Vo Nguyen Giap Vietnam "Any forces that would impose their will on other nations will certainly face defeat" Unknown "Art is a deliberate recreation of a new and special reality that grows from your response to life. It cannot be copied; it must be created" Anatole france "In art as in love, instinct is enough" Billy corgan "The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I`m really a jock." Chris pratt "It`s interesting - I always thought when I was doing more melodramatic stuff like `Everwood` that the directors were constantly reeling me in and stopping me from being funny." George bernard shaw "Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life." Ninotchka 1939 "...It`s midnight. One half of Paris is making love to the other half." Double indemnity 1944 "But it`s straight down the line for both of us." Mother teresa "Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls" Alice roosevelt longworth "I have a simple philosophy: Fill what`s empty. Empty what`s full. Scratch where it itches." Eleanor roosevelt "The giving of love is an education in itself" Murray Rothbard "All government wars are unjust" Joseph campbell "I don`t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive." Arthur schopenhauer "Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death." Bible, hebrews 13:2 "Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it" General Smedley Butler "There are only two things we should fight for. One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights. War for any other reason is simply a racket" Lillian Hellman "Cynicism is an unpleasant way of saying the truth" W. clement stone "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?" Albert Einstein "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." H. jackson brown, jr. "In business or in life, don`t follow the wagon tracks too closely." A. a. milne "If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you" Og mandino "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars" Eleanor roosevelt "I think, at a child`s birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity." Bill gates "Intellectual property has the shelf life of a banana." Romans 7:6 "But now we are delivered from the law, that being dead wherein we were held; that we should serve in newness of spirit, and not in the oldness of the letter." ...and justice for all 1979 "You`re out of order! You`re out of order! The whole trial is out of order!" Joe rogan "I had seen movies before that that had made me laugh, but I had never seen anything even remotely close to as funny as Richard Pryor was, just standing there talking." Albert einstein "If the facts don`t fit the theory, change the facts." James thurber "Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?" Oscar Wilde "A cynic is one who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing" Zig ziglar "Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life - all areas of life. The really good news is that anyone can develop both honesty and integrity." Sophia loren "There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age" Leo buscaglia "What we call the secret of happiness is no more a secret than our willingness to choose life." Oprah winfrey "I am a woman in process. I`m just trying like everybody else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull." Erma bombeck "Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving." Wuthering heights 1939 "Take me to the window. Let me look at the moors with you once more, my darling. Once more." Being there 1979 "I like to watch (TV." Groucho Marx "I didn`t like the play,but then I saw it under adverse conditions,the curtain was up" Johnny depp "You use your money to buy privacy because during most of your life you aren`t allowed to be normal." True grit 1969 "Well, come see a fat old man sometime! Hyah!" Evelyn cross mulwray faye dunaway in chinatown 1974 "She`s my daughter!...She`s my sister! She`s my daughter! My sister, my daughter...She`s my sister and my daughter." Ambrose Bierce "Alliance: In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted into each others` pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third" Oliver herford "A woman`s mind is cleaner than a man`s: She changes it more often." Monty python and the holy grail 1975 "On second thought, let`s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place." Wanda jamie lee curtis in a fish called wanda 1988 "Aristotle was not Belgian. The central message of Buddhism is not `every man for himself.` And the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked `em up." Henry Louis Mencken "A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it" John f. kennedy "Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future." Bryant h. mcgill "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love" Jerry b. jenkins "Funny, I don`t feel any more powerful today than yesterday." Huey newton "I think what motivates people is not great hate, but great love for other people" Confucius "It is easy to hate and it is difficult to love. This is how the whole scheme of things works. All good things are difficult to achieve; and bad things are very easy to get" Ronald Reagan "We must realize that no arsenal,or no weapon in the arsenals of the world,is so formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women" 2 cor 5:21 "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." A. J. P. Taylor "The great armies,accumulated to provide security and preserve the peace,carried the nations to war by their own weight" Reflections in a golden eye 1967 "Cutting off her nipples with garden shears? You call that normal?" Ralph waldo emerson "A man is a god in ruins. When men are innocent, life shall be longer, and shall pass into the immortal, as gently as we awake from dreams." Theodore Roosevelt "Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official.." Lou Gehrig "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.[13]" Matt 6:33 "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." Alfred adler "The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions." Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "Violence can only be concealed by a lie,and the lie can only be maintained by violence" 2 timothy 2:15 "Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth." Johnny carson "If it weren`t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we`d still be eating frozen radio dinners." Goethe "There is nothing more frightening than active ignorance" Lucius annaeus seneca "Love in its essence is spiritual fire" Vincent gallo "My parents were dishonest people. If it was my birthday, I knew my mother took me to the K-Mart and she stole my toy. She`d put it in the shopping cart and we`d walk out. I was raised with that." H. l. mencken "The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line." Leslie fiedler "It`s funny to be a critic." Michael Servetus "To kill a man is not to defend a doctrine,but to kill a man" Cat deeley "I hate birthdays. I hate birthday parties. I hate them. I don`t know what it is, anybody`s only got to come wafting near me with a piece of cake with a candle on and I break out in hives." John Greenleaf Whittier "Peace hath higher tests of manhood than battle ever knew" Mary Astell "But,alas! what poor Woman is ever taught that she should have a higher Design than to get her a Husband?" Friedrich Hebbel,German poet and dramatist "Governments have never learned anything from history,or acted on principles deducted from it" Robert frost "Always fall in with what you`re asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever`s going. Not against: with." Havelock Ellis "Mankind is becoming a single unit,and that for a unit to fight against itself is suicide" Gollum "My precious." Groucho marx "All people are born alike - except Republicans and Democrats." Grand hotel 1932 "But I want to be alone." Pope John Paul II "Wars generally do not resolve the problems for which they are fought and therefore,prove ultimately futile" Frank Chodorov "The State acquires power,and because of its insatiable lust for power it is incapable of giving up any of it. The State never abdicates" Michael Hall "Follow not the person carrying flag nor sword,for they will invariably lead you to a cliff and a mighty fall" 2 corinthians 12:9 "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." Marilyn monroe "Sometimes I think it would be easier to avoid old age, to die young, but then you`d never complete your life, would you? You`d never wholly know you." Ralph Waldo Emerson "All diseases run into one, old age" Way out west 1937 "Now that you`ve got the mine, I`ll bet you`ll be a swell gold digger." High sierra 1941 "Mister, what does it mean when a man crashes out?" Washington irving "A father may turn his back on his child, brothers and sisters may become inveterate enemies, husbands may desert their wives, wives their husbands. But a mother`s love endures through all" Doug Horton "Boring people are a reflection of boring people" Uma thurman "I was not particularly bright, I wasn`t very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid." Robert G. Ingersoll "In nature, there are neither rewards nor punishments, there are consequences" Det. Robert Thorn "Soylent Green is people!" William shakespeare "Life every man holds dear; but the dear man holds honor far more precious dear than life." Brendan francis "A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him" Jonathan Larson "The opposite of war is not peace,it`s creation" Thomas Paine "It is error only,and not truth,that shrinks from inquiry" Jackie robinson "Life is not a spectator sport. If you`re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, in my opinion you`re wasting your life." Patricia Sun "[War] comes from an immature style of thinking where creativity and overview is scarce" Olivia munn "Jon Stewart hires people that he thinks are funny. That`s it. That`s the only requirement." A. J. P. Taylor "No war is inevitable until it breaks out" Robert Higgs "When American presidents prepare for foreign wars,they lie" Sara teasdale "Life is but thought." Leann rimes "The funny thing is the songs that people think are about me probably aren`t. And the songs that are probably are the ones they wouldn`t think... so that`s where it kind of is funny." Ferdinand foch "The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire" Justice Louis D. Brandeis "The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in the insidious encroachment by men of zeal,well meaning but without understanding" Ludwig von Mises "Whoever wants peace among nations must seek to limit the state and its influence most strictly" Friedrich Nietzsche "Under conditions of peace the warlike man attacks himself" Ernest Hemingway "You can wipe out your opponents. But if you do it unjustly you become eligible for being wiped out yourself" Audrey hepburn "I`m an introvert... I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky" Albert camus "It is normal to give away a little of one`s life in order not to lose it all." Airplane! 1980 "Well, I`ll give him another 20 minutes, but that`s it." Gustave flaubert "Love is a springtime plant that perfumes everything with its hope, even the ruins to which it clings" Sigmund freud "Whoever loves becomes humble. Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism" Karen russell "I love weird or funny or beautiful sentences; Joy Williams could write a microwave-oven manual and I`m sure I`d love it, because the sentences would be tuned up like music." Dan stevens "I would like to do something modern and possibly funny." Napoleon hill "All the breaks you need in life wait within your imagination, Imagination is the workshop of your mind, capable of turning mind energy into accomplishment and wealth." Adam sandler "Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it" Vincent van gogh "But I always think that the best way to know God is to love many things" Jean De La Bruyère "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think" Red skelton "Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime." Albert Einstein "God may be subtle,but he isn`t plain mean" Bringing up baby 1938 "Oh, yes, I`ll be with you in a minute, Mr. Peabody." Bible, matthew 5:44 "Love your enemies" Ephesians 5:20 "Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;" Henry david thoreau "I think that there is nothing, not even crime, more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself than this incessant business." Amos 5:24 "But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!" Stephen dorff "I liked getting the best villain award. I thought that was funny." Ben stiller "I don`t think the public is dying to see me necessarily be funny all the time." Isa 53:6 "We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all." Stevie nicks "The day before my 16th birthday I got my guitar." Abraham Lincoln "Military glory--that attractive rainbow,that rises in showers of blood--that serpent`s eye,that charms to destroy.." Lena dunham "It`s funny, I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway." Henri Barbusse "Two armies that fight each other is like one large army that commits suicide" James a. baldwin "Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up" Count Dracula "Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make." Elbert hubbard "Life is just one damned thing after another." Karen horney "Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist." William wallace "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." Tea and sympathy 1956 "Manliness is not all swagger and swearing and mountain climbing. Manliness is also tenderness and gentleness and consideration." E. m. forster "The main facts in human life are five: birth, food, sleep, love and death." Edward Gibbon "As long as mankind shall bestow more liberal applause on their destroyers than on their benefactors,the thirst for military glory will remain the vice of the most exalted characters" Patrick J. Buchanan "No one has deputized America to play Wyatt Earp to the world" Mahatma Gandhi "I object to violence because when it appears to do good,the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent" General Stonewall Jackson "People who are anxious to bring on war dont know what they are bargaining for; they dont see all the horrors that must accompany such an event" Johnny carson "I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing." Martin luther "To gather with God`s people in united adoration of the Father is as necessary to the Christian life as prayer." Doug Horton "If the destination is heaven, why do we scramble to be first in line for hell?" Marilyn monroe "If there is only one thing in my life that I am proud of, it`s that I`ve never been a kept woman." Maya angelou "Love is like a virus. It can happen to anybody at any time" City slickers 1991 "Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself: `This is the best I`m ever going to look, the best I`m ever going to feel, the best I`m ever going to do,` and it ain`t that great?" Bible, psalms 91: 11-12 "lest you dash your foot against a stone" Scott Ritter "I`d like to think the best bunker buster is a diplomat" Nigella lawson "Also, in a funny way, if you have been happily married there are no unresolved areas, nothing to prove to yourself after the other dies." Lao tzu "Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don`t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like." Harry Emerson Fosdick "The tragedy of war is that it uses mans best to do mans worst" Friedrich nietzsche "Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes" Hedy lamarr "It`s funny about men and women. Men pay in cash to get them and pay in cash to get rid of them. Women pay emotionally coming and going. Neither has it easy." Frank morgan "A heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others" J. Paul Getty "Formula for success: rise early,work hard,strike oil" Dean Inge "Anxiety is interest paid on trouble before it is due" Honore de balzac "The fact is that love is of two kinds, one which commands, and one which obeys. The two are quite distinct, and the passion to which the one gives rise is not the passion of the other" Reinhold niebuhr "Forgiveness is the final form of love" Robert frost "The chief reason for going to school is to get the impression fixed for life that there is a book side for everything." Jerry lewis "Every man`s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands." Christopher morley "There are three ingredients in the good life: learning, earning and yearning." For whom the bell tolls 1943 "I don`t know how to kiss, or I would kiss you. Where do the noses go?" William morris "The true secret of happiness lies in taking a genuine interest in all the details of daily life." Psalms 16:11 "Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore." The maltese falcon 1941 "When you`re slapped, you`ll take it and like it." James a. baldwin "I love America more than any other country in this world, and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually" Johnny vegas "It is easy for me to love myself, but for ladies to do it is another question altogether." Fredric Bastiat "When goods don`t cross borders,soldiers will" Vanessa hudgens "This is going to sound really funny. I have a poster of Zac Efron on my wall! I think every girl has a poster of him in their room so, why not join the club!" Rita rudner "I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight." Annie hall 1977 "But I don`t want to live in a city where the only cultural advantage is that you can make a right turn on a red light." Psalms 55:22 "Cast thy burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain thee: he shall never suffer the righteous to be moved." Tony robbins "In life you need either inspiration or desperation." Robert Anton Wilson "Cynics regard everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regard everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves" Albert Einstein "Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater" Duck soup 1933 "You know, you haven`t stopped talking since I came here? You must have been vaccinated with a phonograph needle." Dwight D. Eisenhower "We must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence,whether sought or unsought,by the military-industrial complex" Nelson mandela "There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." Albert schweitzer "The purpose of human life is to serve, and to show compassion and the will to help others." Pope Pius XII "You lose nothing through peace. You can lose everything through war" Buddha "All wrong-doing arises because of mind. If mind is transformed can wrong-doing remain?" Lynda barry "I need to be cheered up a lot. I think funny people are people who need to be cheered up." Edmond Jules Goncourt "A painting in a museum probably hears more foolish remarks than anything else in the world" Unknown "All extremists should be taken out and shot" Rick Blaine "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." 1 corinthians 10:13 "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." Bindi irwin "If there`s one thing I really want for my birthday, that is for the mining company not to mine my daddy`s reserve." The godfather, part 2 1974 "I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart." Scott Ritter "We are the ones responsible to determine whether the war that our marines,soldiers and airmen are fighting in is worth the cause.." Rio bravo 1959 "I guess they`ll let you in the front door from now on." Oscar wilde "Women love us for our defects. If we have enough of them, they will forgive us everything, even our gigantic intellects" E. e. cummings "Be of love a little more careful than of anything" John lennon "Everything is clearer when you`re in love" Ralph Waldo Emerson "The real and lasting victories are those of peace and not of war" Michael jordan "I`ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed." Samuel Johnson "Dictionaries are like watches: the worst is better than none, and the best cannot be expected to go quite true" John lennon "All you need is love" The commitments 1991 "That`s very profound, Jimmy. What does it mean? (big grin I`m f--ked if I know, Terry!" Butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "Good. For a moment there, I thought we were in trouble." Psalms 91:1 "He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty." A day at the races 1937 "It`s the old, old story. Boy meets girl - Romeo and Juliet - Minneapolis and St. Paul!" James 5:16 "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed" Vincent van gogh "The best way to know God is to love many things" Walter cronkite "I want to say that probably 24 hours after I told CBS that I was stepping down at my 65th birthday, I was already regretting it. And I regretted it every day since." Harvey 1950 "Well, I`ve wrestled with reality for thirty-five years, Doctor, and I`m happy to state I finally won out over it." Frank sinatra "I would like to be remembered as a man who had a wonderful time living life, a man who had good friends, fine family - and I don`t think I could ask for anything more than that, actually." Pope John Paul II "Violence and arms can never resolve the problems of men" Picnic 1955 "I get so tired of just being told I`m pretty." Footlight parade 1933 "Outside, Countess. As long as they`ve got sidewalks, you`ve got a job." Carol connelly helen hunt in as good as it gets 1997 "When I first saw you, I thought you were handsome. Then, of course, you spoke." Ludwig von Mises "The state can be and has often been in the course of history the main source of mischief and disaster" Adolf Hitler "I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few" Joseph campbell "Life is without meaning. You bring the meaning to it. The meaning of life is whatever you ascribe it to be. Being alive is the meaning." Hermann Hesse "Every politician in the world is all for revolution,reason,and disarmament--but only in enemy countries,not in his own" Edmund Burke "I venture to say no war can be long carried on against the will of the people" Anton chekhov "Any idiot can face a crisis - it`s day to day living that wears you out." Truman capote "Love is a chain of love as nature is a chain of life" Will rogers "I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do." Robert benchley "Why don`t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" Benjamin Disraeli "It destroys one`s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being" Bob newhart "Funny is funny is funny." Princess diana "If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love" Paul lynde "Politicians... talk in generalities and lies, and I think they`ve caused all our grief. They`re so awful, they`re really funny. I hate thinking this because my dad loved politics." Francis John McConnell "We need a type of patriotism that recognizes the virtues of those who are opposed to us" Elbert hubbard "The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you`ll make one." Daisaku Ikeda "Peace will be realized only by forging bonds of trust between people at the deepest level,in the depths of their very lives" Woody Allen "I don`t want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying." Romans 1:16 "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth..." Billy graham "The Christian life is not a constant high. I have my moments of deep discouragement. I have to go to God in prayer with tears in my eyes, and say, `O God, forgive me,` or `Help me.`" John f. kennedy "There is always inequality in life. Some men are killed in a war and some men are wounded and some men never leave the country. Life is unfair." Rachel weisz "I think things are funny when the character is taking it totally seriously." François-August Rodin "I choose a block of marble and chop off everything I don`t need" Elayne boosler "When the sun comes up, I have morals again." Winston churchill "Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result." Bertrand russell "Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind." Bobby darin "A comedian`s body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny." Tom Stoppard "Age is a very high price to pay for maturity" Brendan Behan "The terrorist is the one with the small bomb" Gone with the wind 1939 "I`ll think about it tomorrow. Tara! Home. I`ll go home, and I`ll think of some way to get him back! After all, tomorrow is another day!" Joseph conrad "Woe to the man whose heart has not learned while young to hope, to love - and to put its trust in life" Unknown "A political machine is a united minority working against a divided majority" Ramman Kenoun "It`s truly ironic how self-proclaimed `patriots` have a tendency to support those who seek to undermine their country" Glengarry glen ross 1992 "2 -A - B - C. A. Always. B. Be. C. Closing. Always Be Closing. Always Be Closing." Butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "Think ya used enough dynamite there, Butch?" The silence of the lambs 1991 "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti." David Friedman "The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem,it is generally employed only by small children and large nations" Bible, i john 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear" Malcolm X "You`re not supposed to be so blind with patriotism that you can`t face reality. Wrong is wrong no matter who does it or who says it" Spinoza "Peace is not the absence of war; it is a virtue; a state of mind; a disposition for benevolence; confidence; and justice" Stendhal "If you don`t love me, it does not matter, anyway I can love for both of us" Will rogers "If I studied all my life, I couldn`t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress." Stage door 1937 "You may as well go to perdition in ermine. You`re sure to come back in rags." Dr. no 1962 "...Bond. James Bond." Bob hope "If I have to lay an egg for my country, I`ll do it." Who framed roger rabbit 1988 "P-p-p-please!" Marilyn monroe "I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love" H. jackson brown, jr. "Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye" Anais nin "Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country" Peter ustinov "Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit" Robert Harbison "It is people who live by the rules that are always hoping to get them changed" 1 john 4:16 "And we have known and believed the love that God hath to us" Loretta young "Love isn`t something you find. Love is something that finds you" Jennifer aniston "Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day." Jay london "My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings." Will smith "So if you stay ready, you ain`t gotta get ready, and that is how I run my life." Antoine De Saint-Exupery "War is not an adventure. It is a disease. It is like typhus" Steven wright "Babies don`t need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I`ll go over to a little baby and say `What are you doing here? You haven`t worked a day in your life!`" Dale evans "Christmas, my child, is love in action. Every time we love, every time we give, it`s Christmas" 2 corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." Citizen kane 1941 "You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn`t been very rich, I might have been a really great man...I think I did pretty well under the circumstances." Ghostbusters 1984 "He slimed me." Helen rowland "One man`s folly is another man`s wife." Mahatma Gandhi "Was not war itself a crime against God and humanity,and therefore,were not all those who sanctioned,engineered and conducted wars,war criminals" Julie walters "Oh all the time when Victoria Wood and I did our series. There were people asking `Can women be funny?` People still ask that. It`s like asking: `Can women breathe in and out?`" James herriot "For years I used to bore my wife over lunch with stories about funny incidents." Ben-hur 1959 "Your eyes are full of hate, Forty-One. That`s good. Hate keeps a man alive." Benjamin franklin "Where there`s marriage without love, there will be love without marriage" James Patrick Murray "Baseball is a game where a curve is an optical illusion,a screwball can be a pitch or a person,stealing is legal and you can spit anywhere you like except in the umpire`s eye or on the ball" Feodor Dostoevskij "Everything is permitted" Samuel Adams "How strangely will the Tools of a Tyrant pervert the plain Meaning of Words" Ben stein "The indispensable first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: decide what you want." James Madison "It is a universal truth that the loss of liberty at home is to be charged to the provisions against danger,real or pretended,from abroad" Albert Camus "Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face" Thomas Jefferson "I know of no safe depository of the ultimate power of the society but the people themselves" Rom 5:8 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this:While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." Dark victory 1939 "Is that you, Martha?...I don`t want to be disturbed." Rain man 1988 "I`ll let you in on a little secret, Ray. K-Mart sucks." Zsa Zsa Gabor "A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he`s finished" Olavo de Cavarlho "Some explanations of a crime are not explanations: they`re part of the crime" George W. Bush "I think war is a dangerous place" Yogi berra "A nickel ain`t worth a dime anymore." Sarah sutton "I love photography. My boyfriend`s got a great camera, which I bought for his birthday." Theodore roosevelt "Character, in the long run, is the decisive factor in the life of an individual and of nations alike." Bill gates "Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren`t so exciting." The italian job 1969 "You`re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off." Walt Kelly "We have met the enemy and he is us" Unknown "Blessed are we who can laugh at ourselves for we shall never cease to be amused" C. s. lewis "Thirty was so strange for me. I`ve really had to come to terms with the fact that I am now a walking and talking adult." Pedro Calderon de la Barca "When love is not madness,it is not love" Moon unit zappa "I think I have a dark view of the world. I have to make everything funny, otherwise it all seems so sad." Pablo picasso "Love is the greatest refreshment in life" Jean-Paul Sartre "Everything has been figured out,except how to live" Bertrand russell "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead" Bible, mark 10:14 "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these" Romans 12:14 "Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not." Bill Cosby "In order to succeed,your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure" William Shakespeare "How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world" The goodbye girl 1977 "I do not like the panties drying on the rod." John le carre "Love is whatever you can still betray. Betrayal can only happen if you love" Bible, psalms 146:3 "Put not your trust in princes" W. somerset maugham "It`s a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it." A place in the sun 1951 "I love you. I`ve loved you since the first moment I saw you. I guess maybe I`ve even loved you before I saw you." Blaise pascal "Truth is so obscure in these times, and falsehood so established, that, unless we love the truth, we cannot know it" Stanley Baldwin "War would end if the dead could return" Groucho marx "A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five." The Terminator "Hasta la vista, baby." Gilbert K. Chesterton "Marriage is an adventure,like going to war" Jimmy fallon "Leno, Conan. They are both really funny. They really know how to land one." Groucho Marx "I didn`t like the play. But I saw it under unfavorable circumstances, the curtains were up" Dennis miller "I rant, therefore I am." Mark twain "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen." Play clip excerpt: "You got the wrong guy. I`m the Dude, man." Elisabeth kubler-ross "Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself, and know that everything in life has purpose. There are no mistakes, no coincidences, all events are blessings given to us to learn from." John Adams "Power always thinks it has a great soul and vast views beyond the comprehension of the weak.." Plan 9 from outer space 1959 "All you of Earth - are idiots!" Johnny vegas "Comedy`s so subjective, and if someone comes to watch, doesn`t get it, doesn`t find it funny, then fine." Spike milligan "I can speak Esperanto like a native." General William Westmoreland "War is fear cloaked in courage" The adventures of sherlock holmes 1939 "Elementary, my dear Watson." Bill cosby "Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit" Marcelene cox "If at first you don`t succeed, blame your parents." Deuteronomy 6:7 "And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up." Hank azaria "Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in." Walt disney "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known" Maurice Chevalier "A comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay, it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world" Mindy kaling "People don`t want to listen to a celebrity tweeting about their charities and shows. That`s why comedy writers do well - we put out little funny ideas." Brad henry "A good teacher can inspire hope, ignite the imagination, and instill a love of learning" Henry ford "The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life." Aldous huxley "There isn`t any formula or method. You learn to love by loving - by paying attention and doing what one thereby discovers has to be done" Benjamin franklin "He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals" Rabindranath tagore "Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation" Muhammad ali "We have one life; it soon will be past; what we do for God is all that will last." Victor hugo "To love is to act" Heb 4:16 "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Dick Cheney "The question in my mind is how many additional American casualties is Saddam worth? And the answer is not very damned many" Matthew 17:20 "...If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you." Aldous huxley "The impulse to cruelty is, in many people, almost as violent as the impulse to sexual love - almost as violent and much more mischievous" George Orwell "During times of universal deceit,telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act" Ralph Waldo Emerson "Violence is not power,but the absence of power" Eph 3:20 "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us," Frank Kent "The evils of government are directly proportional to the tolerance of the people" Lao Tsu "Only fools seek power,and the greatest fools seek it through force" John 3:17 "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Khalil gibran "Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit." Hugh Mann "It`s more humane to cure your enemies than to kill them" Mother teresa "Let us not be satisfied with just giving money. Money is not enough, money can be got, but they need your hearts to love them. So, spread your love everywhere you go" Lawrence durrell "It is not love that is blind, but jealousy" Albert Einstein "A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?" Oprah winfrey "The struggle of my life created empathy - I could relate to pain, being abandoned, having people not love me" Unknown "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it.... While it lies there, it needs no constitution, no law, no court to save it" Lt. Col. Bill Kilgore "I love the smell of napalm in the morning." Henry rollins "Don`t do anything by half. If you love someone, love them with all your soul. When you go to work, work your ass off. When you hate someone, hate them until it hurts" E. m. forster "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us." Zac efron "One time I went into a restroom and a girl followed me in. I signed an autograph for her in the sink. It was pretty funny because she was in a guy`s restroom and she wasn`t embarrassed at all." Al yankovic "People never ask people doing serious music, `Do you ever think about doing funny music?`" George bernard shaw "You are going to let the fear of poverty govern you life and your reward will be that you will eat, but you will not live." Sloane crosley "I`m a summer baby, so I usually have my birthday as a good summer memory." Batman 1989 "Where does he get those wonderful toys?" David herbert lawrence "I want to live my life so that my nights are not full of regrets." Isaac asimov "People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do." George Eliot "Anger and jealousy can no more bear to lose sight of their objects than love" 1 john 5:12 "He that hath the Son hath life; and he that hath not the Son of God hath not life." Jonathan safran foer "Literature has drawn a funny perimeter that other art forms haven`t." Johann wolfgang von goethe "We cannot fashion our children after our desires, we must have them and love them as God has given them to us" 1 cor 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." The usual suspects 1995 "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn`t exist. And like that - he`s gone." Tracey ullman "I think serial monogamy says it all." John Quincy Adams "America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to the freedom and independence of all" Pope John Paul II "Will... the threat of common extermination continue?... Must children receive the arms race from us as a necessary inheritance" Fred Reed "Wars are the hobbies of half-informed children who have somehow come into possession of the levers of power" Rodrigue Tremblay "The world should take notice when someone,with a fanatic mind and with powerful means,receives his marching orders from Heaven" Flip wilson "Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we`re `dead earnest,` humor is the only thing that is dead." Susan orlean "I want a chainsaw very badly, because I think cutting down a tree would be unbelievably satisfying. I have asked for a chainsaw for my birthday, but I think I`ll probably be given jewelry instead." Elbert hubbard "Love grows by giving. The love we give away is the only love we keep. The only way to retain love is to give it away" Braveheart 1995 "...That they may take our lives, but they will never take our freedom." Voltaire "It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love" Regan macneil/satan linda blair in the exorcist 1973 "...Your mother`s in here with us, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I`ll see that she gets it." Unknown "Don`t tell any big lies today. Small ones can be just as effective" Muhammad ali "A man who views the world the same at fifty as he did at twenty has wasted thirty years of his life." Ente Grillenhaft "The first casualty of war is not truth,but perspective. Once that`s gone,truth,like compassion,reason,and all the other virtues,wanders around like a wounded orphan" Garrison keillor "God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he`s stuck with so many bad actors who don`t know how to play funny." Howard stern "Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that`s all you`ve got, you`re dead in the water. It`s not good." Garrison keillor "Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough" Anais nin "Life is a process of becoming, a combination of states we have to go through. Where people fail is that they wish to elect a state and remain in it. This is a kind of death." Elbert hubbard "Polygamy: An endeavour to get more out of life than there is in it." Lydia Sicher "[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest,less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur" Proverbs 10:12 "Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs" Touch of evil 1958 "He was some kind of a man. What does it matter what you say about people?...Adios." Aristotle "The energy of the mind is the essence of life." Donna mills "I`m back to doing everything I used to, loving life as ever." Fatal attraction 1987 "...I`m NOT gonna be ignored." Lord byron "Man`s love is of man`s life a part; it is a woman`s whole existence. In her first passion, a woman loves her lover, in all the others all she loves is love" Dr. strangelove, or:... 1964 "Mein Fuhrer, I can walk!" George bernard shaw "The great advantage of a hotel is that it is a refuge from home life." Emo philips "How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand." Karl jaspers "Only then, approaching my fortieth birthday, I made philosophy my life`s work." Zig ziglar "If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. You will get all you want in life if you help enough other people get what they want." Steven Coallier "Attack life, it`s going to kill you anyway" Jennifer aniston "The best smell in the world is that man that you love" Robert Lee Frost "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman`s birthday but never her age" Unknown "If you wish you be like someone else, you waste the person you are" Albert Camus "The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance,and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding" Edgar allan poe "Man`s real life is happy, chiefly because he is ever expecting that it soon will be so." John f. kennedy "The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty, and all forms of human life." Bruce barton "If you can give your child only one gift, let it be enthusiasm." Lt. General William E. Odom,US Army Ret., "Acts of terror have never brought down liberal democracies. Acts of parliament have closed a few" Sloane crosley "I think a lot of humor is about distracting yourself. Pretend you`re not trying to make it funny. Because for some reason the effort to be funny smells like sulphur in our culture." Unknown "Laughter is a tranquilizer with no side effects" Benjamin disraeli "One secret of success in life is for a man to be ready for his opportunity when it comes." Sleeper 1973 "Sex and death. Two things that come once in a lifetime. But at least after death you`re not nauseous." Rainer maria rilke "This is the miracle that happens every time to those who really love: the more they give, the more they possess" Olivia munn "It is possible in this world to be pretty and funny and successful all at the same time." Pope john paul ii "The great danger for family life, in the midst of any society whose idols are pleasure, comfort and independence, lies in the fact that people close their hearts and become selfish." Robert H. Jackson "It is the function of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error" Knut Hamsun "In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the past, we have arrived" Albert Einstein "Everything should be as simple as it is,but not simpler" Albert einstein "The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life. Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat." Stephanie cutter "My brother got a.22 for his 12th birthday; I got a.22. He got a hunting knife; I got a hunting knife." Groucho marx "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." Psalms 61:2 "From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I." Unknown "Familiarity breeds contempt" Bill sienkiewicz "Kyle Baker`s work is really funny, but it`s also got a very clear vision." Doug Collins "Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win" W. c. fields "I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it." Randolph Bourne "One keeps healthy in wartime,by a vigorous assertion of values in which war has no part" The poseidon adventure 1972 "Just panties - what else do I need?" Jean anouilh "Our entire life - consists ultimately in accepting ourselves as we are." Phillip noyce "People just don`t laugh when their family is violated, and you don`t shrug it off. You band together and you defend together. It`s a funny, primitive instinct." Khalil gibran "If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don`t, they never were" John Adams "There is danger from all men. The only maxim of a free government ought to be to trust no man living with power to endanger the public liberty" Muhammad ali "Frazier is so ugly that he should donate his face to the US Bureau of Wild Life." Theodor adorno "Wrong life cannot be lived rightly." Thomas merton "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another." Hilary swank "I took `P.S. I Love You` thinking it was going to be a little funny, and I ended up crying every day on that film." Alfred Hitchcock "A lot of movies are about life,mine are like a slice of cake" Charles-Louis De Secondat "The deterioration of every government begins with the decay of the principles on which it was founded" Anne Louise Germaine de Stael "Search for the truth is the noblest occupation of man; its publication is a duty" Dwight D. Eisenhower "Disarmament,with mutual honor and confidence,is a continuing imperative" Theodor adorno "Love you will find only where you may show yourself weak without provoking strength" Imelda marcos "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty." Alfred Adler "It is easier to fight for one`s principles than to live up to them" Will rogers "We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can." Eminem "I need drama in my life to keep making music." Eminem "The truth is you don`t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed." Elie wiesel "Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing" Dave Bowman "Open the pod bay doors, HAL." David spade "There`s always something funny about men chasing women." Charles bukowski "It`s possible to love a human being if you don`t know them too well" Jean Anouilh "Every man thinks god is on his side" Bindi irwin "I love having my birthday at Australia Zoo." Anton Pavlovich Chekhov "Any idiot can face a crisis; it is this day-to-day living that wears you out" Craig bruce "It`s funny how most activists are pacifists." Tony Benn "All war represents a failure of diplomacy" Randolph Bourne "War is the Health of the State" David viscott "To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides" William shakespeare "Absence from those we love is self from self - a deadly banishment" Moliere "Writing is like prostitution. First you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money" They live 1988 "I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I`m all out of bubblegum." Thomas Jefferson "The most successful war seldom pays for its losses" George bernard shaw "Life would be tolerable but for its amusements." Butler Shaffer "The state has,in order to control us,introduced division into our thinking,so that we come to distrust others and look to the state for protection" Larry david "If you tell the truth about how you`re feeling, it becomes funny." Henk Middelraad "War brings out the most negative emotional human responses on both sides" Lucille ball "I`m not funny. What I am is brave." Tony robbins "I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk." Elbert Hubbard "If a feller says, "It`s not the money, it`s the principle of the thing," it`s the money" George Bernard Shaw "A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it; it would be hell on earth" To have and have not 1944 "Say, was you ever bit by a dead bee?" Vince lombardi "Football is like life - it requires perseverance, self-denial, hard work, sacrifice, dedication and respect for authority." Chris Hedges "The failure to dissect the cause of war leaves us open for the next installment" Woody Allen "I tended to place my wife under a pedestal." Ben stiller "I love New York. I was sad, depressed and incredibly moved by our fellow countrymen and what they`ve done. I wanted to give people a chance to see something funny, have a distraction." Agatha Christie "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her" My little chickadee 1940 "Ah, what symmetrical digits! Soft as the fuzz of a baby`s arm...Mmm, yes. Uh, may I [kiss them]?...Would you object if I avail myself of a second helping?" Groucho Marx "A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke" Jeane J. Kirkpatrick "We have war when at least one of the parties to a conflict wants something more than it wants peace" Buddha "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body,but an evil friend will wound your mind" Gone with the wind 1939 "The happiest days are when babies come." Martha graham "There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique." Tony robbins "Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life`s deepest joy: true fulfillment." Mr. deeds goes to town 1936 "And I say the fellas who can make the hill on high should stop once in a while and help those who can`t. That`s all I`m trying to do with this money. Help the fellas who can`t make the hill on high." Matthew sweet "I went to a rare live Van Dyke show and met him there. And then he came to a show of mine and we spoke back stage. The third time was at Brian Wilson`s birthday party." Lily tomlin "You know being relevant or coming up with something interesting, funny to say about what`s current is just as hard as it might ever be depending on the serendipity of it all." Goodbye, mr. chips 1939 "...a pity I never had children. But you`re wrong...I have...thousands of them...thousands of them...and all boys!" Dominic cooper "It`s funny, I never think I`m doing that well. I`ve never, ever. I just constantly think, `This isn`t working out.`" Congressman Ron Paul "War is never economically beneficial except for those in position to profit from war expenditures" Christmas in july 1940 "If you can`t sleep, it isn`t the coffee - it`s the bunk." Robert browning "Motherhood: All love begins and ends there" Friedrich nietzsche "We love life, not because we are used to living but because we are used to loving" Rep. Wally Herger "Why should you ask blood be spilled for a cause that is not in the interest of the American people" Honorè De Balzac "Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies" Mark Twain "A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody has read" Leonardo dicaprio "I got attention by being funny at school, pretending to be retarded, and jumping around with a deformed hand." Theodore bikel "On the stage you`re there, it`s live. There`s a beginning, a middle, an end. When something is funny you hear it right away." Karen horney "Life itself still remains a very effective therapist." Mark 14:38 "Watch ye and pray, lest ye enter into temptation" Horace walpole "The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well." Martin Luther King,Jr. "Nothing good ever comes of violence" Emmet fox "It makes no difference how deeply seated may be the trouble, how hopeless the outlook how muddled the tangle, how great the mistake. A sufficient realization of love will dissolve it all" John Leonard "Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football,basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns" Boethius "Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law" Oscar wilde "In modern life nothing produces such an effect as a good platitude. It makes the whole world kin." Johann wolfgang von goethe "I love those who yearn for the impossible." Yankee doodle dandy 1942 "Ladies and gentlemen. My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you." She wore a yellow ribbon 1949 "Don`t apologize - it`s a sign of weakness." John w. gardner "Life is the art of drawing without an eraser." Princess diana "If you find someone you love in your life, then hang on to that love." Helen Rowland "A husband is what is left of a lover,after the nerve has been extracted" Matthew 7:12 "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." George W. Bush on Iraqi Insurgency "These people are trying to shake the will of the Iraqi citizens,and they want us to leave,I think the world would be better off if we did leave.." Marcus Aurelius "How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it" George eliot "I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved" Johann wolfgang von goethe "I love those who yearn for the impossible" Isaiah 32:2 "And a man shall be as an hiding place from the wind, and a covert from the tempest; as rivers of water in a dry place, as the shadow of a great rock in a weary land." The maltese falcon 1941 "By gad, sir, you are a character, that you are. There`s never any telling what you`ll say or do next, except that it`s bound to be something astonishing." Marlon wayans "If you could cross a lion and a monkey, that`s what I`d be, because monkeys are funny and lions are strong." Francis of assisi "Lord, grant that I might not so much seek to be loved as to love" Lord byron "Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey" Shirley MacLaine "Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends" Fran lebowitz "You`re only as good as your last haircut." Charles m. schulz "I have a new philosophy. I`m only going to dread one day at a time." Apocalypse now 1979 "The horror...the horror." R. buckminster fuller "Love is metaphysical gravity" Elizabeth Kenny "He who angers you conquers you" Henry david thoreau "Live the life you`ve dreamed." Marianne williamson "We are not held back by the love we didn`t receive in the past, but by the love we`re not extending in the present" Nolan Ryan "Baseball life is a tough life on the family" R. l. stine "I started writing when I was 9 years old. I was like this weird kid who would just stay in my room, typing little funny magazines and drawing comic strips." Aristotle "Politicians also have no leisure, because they are always aiming at something beyond political life itself, power and glory, or happiness." Winston churchill "In war as in life, it is often necessary when some cherished scheme has failed, to take up the best alternative open, and if so, it is folly not to work for it with all your might." Christopher morley "A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life." Touch of evil 1958 "You ridiculous, old-fashioned, jug-eared, lop-sided Little Caesar!" Julianna margulies "The reason I met my husband was because I remembered a friend`s birthday. The moral of the story is: Remember people`s birthdays." Norman vincent peale "If you have zest and enthusiasm you attract zest and enthusiasm. Life does give back in kind." Body heat 1981 "You`re not too smart, are you? I like that in a man." Ecclesiastes 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;" David hyde pierce "Sometimes in the most tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens." The 9/11 Commission Report "The Department of Defense is the behemoth,With an annual budget larger than the gross domestic product of Russia,it is an empire" John f. kennedy "If anyone is crazy enough to want to kill a president of the United States, he can do it. All he must be prepared to do is give his life for the president`s." Richard branson "The funny thing is people won`t let me pay for things. I`ll be in a restaurant and the manager will say, `Oh no, it`s on the house.`" Walt disney "I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known." Neve campbell "Scream was great for what it was. For a horror film, it was intelligent, it was funny, it took a laugh at itself." Winston churchill "My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them." Howard Zinn "How can you make a war on terror if war itself is terrorism" Joyce carol oates "In love there are two things - bodies and words" Charles Eliot Norton "The voice of protest,is never more needed than when the clamor of fife and drum,is bidding all men,obey in silence the tyrannous word of command" Helen Gahagan "When a marriage works,nothing on earth can take its place" Unknown "Everyone smiles in the same language" Rupert brooke "A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years" Audrey hepburn "The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." Acts 1:8 "But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth." Don marquis "Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday." Martin Luther King,Jr. "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge,aggression,and retaliation" Ayn rand "Achieving life is not the equivalent of avoiding death." Napoleon "America is a fortunate country. She grows by the follies of our European nations" Natalie wood "The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby." David ogden stiers "Very often, I don`t make it through moments of recording because it is genuinely funny and absolutely ridiculous that a 60-year-old grown man is making these noises." Matthew sweet "The summer of 2002 at the Wilson birthday party I met Van Dyke again and I made plans to have dinner with him." John ruskin "There is no wealth but life." Johann wolfgang von goethe "Love can do much, but duty more" William shatner "You need to be silly to be funny." Tony robbins "Take control of your consistent emotions and begin to consciously and deliberately reshape your daily experience of life." Elizabeth i "I do not want a husband who honours me as a queen, if he does not love me as a woman" Larry david "There`s also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny." John Burroughs "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,all the walks I want to take,all the books I want to read,and all the friends I want to see" Candace bushnell "Well in the book Carrie was my alter ego. In real life, Sarah Jessica and I don`t look anything alike. But people do say that we sound alike. Sarah Jessica is an adorable girl and she is very funny." Ramman Kenoun "The occupation and robbery of a nation occurs under the illusion of freeing its citizens from brutal oppression" Marlon wayans "Gotta stay in the gym, stay funny, stay sharp. I just love working." Hebrews 11:6 "But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." George Bernard Shaw "Democracy is a form of government that substitutes election by the incompetent many for appointment by the corrupt few" Anais nin "The only abnormality is the incapacity to love" W. somerset maugham "Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species" Groucho Marx "I intend to live forever,or die trying" Satchel paige "It`s funny what a few no-hitters do for a body." Irving berlin "Life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it." Ernest hemingway "I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I`m awake, you know?" Robert e. lee "Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and, when summoned away, to leave without regret." Abraham Lincoln "Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other" Joan crawford "Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell" John Locke "All mankind,being all equal and independent,no one ought to harm another in his life,health,liberty or possessions" Khalil gibran "Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness." Friedrich nietzsche "Love is not consolation. It is light" Josh billings "Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got." Ted Williams "Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer" Earl Wilson "If you think nobody cares if you`re alive, try missing a couple of car payments" Butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "Kid- the next time I say, `Let`s go someplace like Bolivia,` let`s go someplace like Bolivia." Plan 9 from outer space 1959 "One thing`s sure... Inspector Clay is dead... murdered... and somebody`s responsible." Tammy wynette "Stand by your man. Give him two arms to cling to and something warm to come to" Warren buffett "You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don`t do too many things wrong." Albert Einstein "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new." Doug Horton "Materialism is the only form of distraction from true bliss" Albert einstein "Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people." Thomas Paine "An army of principles can penetrate where an army of soldiers cannot" Og mandino "Do all things with love" David Epstein "I`m left on the right issues and right on what`s left. Now that`s an issue I left right in front of you to debate" Rose kennedy "Life isn`t a matter of milestones, but of moments." Lawrence of arabia 1962 "Sherif Ali, so long as the Arabs fight tribe against tribe, so long will they be a little people, a silly people, greedy, barbarous, and cruel as you are." Juan C. Mustelier "Freedom is to understand,and to be unbounded by that freedom" Stephen hawking "Life would be tragic if it weren`t funny." Woody allen "Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good" Henry david thoreau "Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something." T. s. eliot "This love is silent" A streetcar named desire 1951 "I can`t stand a naked light bulb any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action." Nelson mandela "Give a child love, laughter and peace, not AIDS" Old acquaintance 1943 "There comes a time in every woman`s life when the only thing that helps is a glass of champagne." Laura 1944 "A doll in Washington Heights once got a fox fur out of me." Martha plimpton "It`s not common for a woman on television, especially if she`s the mom of the family, to be funny. She`s usually a straight man or foil." Aleksandar hemon "I`ve been a Nick Cave fan since the early `80s when he was part of The Birthday Party thing singing Australian self-destructive rock band and I`ve always followed his work and loved it." Ralph waldo emerson "I have no hostility to nature, but a child`s love to it. I expand and live in the warm day like corn and melons" Sheena easton "We are supposed to enjoy the good stuff now, while we can, with the people we love. Life has a funny way of teaching us that lesson over and over again." George bernard shaw "Life contains but two tragedies. One is not to get your heart`s desire; the other is to get it." Unknown "A person who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal" Albert ellis "Acceptance is not love. You love a person because he or she has lovable traits, but you accept everybody just because they`re alive and human" Dave bowman keir dullea in 2001: a space odyssey 1968 "Open the pod bay doors, please, HAL." Sarah silverman "Well, I`m not afraid to say something if I think it`s funny, even if it`s harsh or racist." The women 1939 "My dear, you`ve got the Reno jumpy-wumpies!" Henry david thoreau "Live your life, do your work, then take your hat." Psalms 23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want." Frank carson "I am accusing him of stealing my best material, he was a very funny man." Louis gerstner "Computers are magnificent tools for the realization of our dreams, but no machine can replace the human spark of spirit, compassion, love, and understanding" Joey Adams "A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing" Jennifer aniston "I had an idea of what I thought was funny. It`s kind of based on how I am." Francesca annis "The funny thing is I`m not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I`ve never had a husband." Anaïs Nin "If what Proust says is true, that happiness is the absence of fever, then I will never know happiness. For I am possessed by a fever for knowledge, experience, and creation" Shoeless Joe Jackson "If you build it, he will come.[14]" H.L. Mencken "Under democracy,one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule and both commonly succeed,and are right" Adolph Hitler "Make the lie big,make it simple,keep saying it,and eventually they will believe it" Lucius Annaeus Seneca "Anger,if not restrained,is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it" H. jackson brown, jr. "Let the refining and improving of your own life keep you so busy that you have little time to criticize others." John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends." Oscar wilde "I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works." Golda meir "Being seventy is not a sin." Dirty rotten scoundrels 1988 "Fellas, last year I made three million dollars. But your fifty thousand was the most fun. Are you ready? Then, let`s go get `em." Denis waitley "Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude" Alexis de Tocqueville "No protracted war can fail to endanger the freedom of a democratic country" Michael landon "I don`t have expectations. Expectations in your life just lead to giant disappointments." Benjamin Franklin "When will mankind be convinced and agree to settle their difficulties by arbitration" Dietrich bonhoeffer "God`s truth judges created things out of love, and Satan`s truth judges them out of envy and hatred" Sydney J. Harris "If a small thing has the power to make you angry,does that not indicate something about your size?" Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny" C. S. Lewis "Of all tyrannies,a tyranny exercised "for the good of its victims" may be the most oppressive" Unknown "Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you don`t think" Marilyn monroe "Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him" Socrates "The unexamined life is not worth living." Harry Truman "It`s a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it`s a depression when you lose yours" Jesus christ "For God so loved the World that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." Dog day afternoon 1975 "Attica! Attica! Attica!..." Bible, romans 6:3-5 "Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death? Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life. For if we have been planted together in the likeness of his death, we shall be also in the likeness of his resurrection" Gustave flaubert "Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work." Arthur "Cody" Jarrett "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" Edgar allan poe "We loved with a love that was more than love" Gertrude stein "It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son." Colin powell "Just hit my 75th birthday, I`m feeling great!" Buddha "Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule" Reggie hammond eddie murphy in 48 hrs. 1982 "You know what I am? I`m your worst f---in` nightmare, man. I`m a nigger with a badge. That mean I got permission to kick your f--kin` ass whenever I feel like it." The thin man 1934 "-It`s not true. He didn`t come anywhere near my tabloids." Dylan thomas "Though lovers be lost love shall not" Lydia m. child "The cure for all the ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows, and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word `love`. It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life" Ralph waldo emerson "Truth is handsomer than the affectation of love. Your goodness must have some edge to it, else it is none" Vincent van gogh "As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult, but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed." Francois de la rochefoucauld "There is no disguise which can hide love for long where it exists, or simulate it where it does not" J. d. salinger "It`s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they`ll do practically anything you want them to." Ronald reagan "Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement." Ricky schroder "I feel cheesy when I see `Silver Spoons.` Some of it was funny, but some of it was just cheese! My kids love it, but I look at it and cringe." Rom 8:39 "neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Winston churchill "In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet." Raymond Hull "All marriages are happy. It`s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble" Marcus aurelius "When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love" Florence welch "I`ve got some incredible fans actually - so loyal and they make me birthday cards and Christmas cards. I got this package of poems and artwork based around the songs. They`ve got this thing called `Floetry` where they all have to put in artwork. They`ve set up their own competitions and stuff which is kind of amazing." I was a teenage werewolf 1957 "One thing`ll be clear. It`s not for man to interfere in the ways of God." Henry Louis Mencken "Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want and deserve to get it good and hard" Leo Buscaglia "Don`t smother each other. No one can grow in the shade" Stevie wonder "Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love" Jerry seinfeld "A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don`t have a top for it." C. S. Lewis "How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete" Henry T. Laurency "It is for us to refuse loyalty when injustice holds sway" Buddha "Without health life is not life; it is only a state of langour and suffering - an image of death." Jean Kerr "Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it,you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left" General Omar N. Bradley "War: A wretched debasement of all the pretenses of civilization" Proverbs 13:12 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy" Orson welles "I have a great love and respect for religion, great love and respect for atheism. What I hate is agnosticism, people who do not choose" Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls." Trey parker "In terms of the creative side of it, it`s really been a thing where you come up with the funny stuff is usually at a bar or out talking to people or whatever." Kevin nealon "A lot of baby boomers are baby bongers." 2 timothy 2:19 "Nevertheless the foundation of God standeth sure, having this seal, The Lord knoweth them that are his" Eddie izzard "I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from." Andy warhol "I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don`t know. I mean, how can you tell?" W. c. fields "Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she`ll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life." Leo buscaglia "What love we`ve given, we`ll have forever. What love we fail to give, will be lost for all eternity" Colin quinn "Marie Antoinette was funny, I`m sure she was just misinterpreted. You know the `Let them eat cake` line. She seems like she was kind of funny, like a Chelsea Handler or Kathy Griffin type." James allen "Man is made or unmade by himself. By the right choice he ascends. As a being of power, intelligence, and love, and the lord of his own thoughts, he holds the key to every situation" Rosa Moline "What a dump.[21]" Margaret Mead "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful,committed people can change the world. Indeed,it is the only thing that ever has" Michael Gillespie "Good intentions will always be pleaded for any assumption of power" Lewis Mumford "War is both the product of an earlier corruption,and a producer of new corruptions" Robert louis stevenson "An aim in life is the only fortune worth finding." Colonel James A. Donovan,Marine Corps "The dangerous patriot,is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory" Soren kierkegaard "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards." Albert camus "We always deceive ourselves twice about the people we love - first to their advantage, then to their disadvantage" Barbara de angelis "Love`s greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred" Matthew macfadyen "I was quite a shy child. I would get terribly nervous and throw up before my birthday party. And then I would be fine. I feel the same now. I get nervous, then it`s fine." Susan sontag "Books are funny little portable pieces of thought." Victor Hugo "Peace is the virtue of civilization. War is its crime" The sound of music 1965 "I could never answer to a whistle. Whistles are for dogs and cats and other animals, but not for children, and definitely not for me. It would be too humiliating." Henry David Thoreau "Heaven is under our feet as well as over our heads" Robin hayes "Memorial Day this year is especially important as we are reminded almost daily of the great sacrifices that the men and women of the Armed Services make to defend our way of life." Khalil gibran "Life without liberty is like a body without spirit." Grosse pointe blank 1997 "Some people say it`s forgive and forget. Nah, I don`t know. I say forget about forgivin` and just accept - and get the hell outta town." Rita mae brown "About all you can do in life is be who you are. Some people will love you for you. Most will love you for what you can do for them, and some won`t like you at all" Nick offerman "It`s funny, growing up there was never anybody around me with any kind of artistic bent." Casablanca 1942 "Here`s looking at you, kid." Anna held "My little dog, he did not get ill. It is so funny that people get ill on a boat and dogs do not." Albert camus "The desire for possession is insatiable, to such a point that it can survive even love itself. To love, therefore, is to sterilize the person one loves" Albert schweitzer "Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier." Lucille ball "I will never do another TV series. It couldn`t top I Love Lucy, and I`d be foolish to try. In this business, you have to know when to get off" Romans 5:8 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." General Douglas MacArthur "In war,as it is waged now,with the enormous losses on both sides,both sides will lose. It is a form of mutual suicide" Senator Robert M. La Follette "If there is no sufficient reason for war,the war party will make war on one pretext,then invent another,after the war is on" Garet Garrett "The winds that blow our billions away return burdened with themes of scorn and dispraise" Henry david thoreau "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours." Ron livingston "If I`m in something funny, I like to try and find some kind of serious line in it that people can relate to." William shakespeare "Speak low, if you speak love" Georgina chapman "It`s funny, because I sometimes feel that I`m most creative when I`m pregnant." Lao Tzu "How could man rejoice in victory and delight in the slaughter of men" Arthur miller "Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." Mark van Essen "Black, white, brown, yellow or even red, we piss with our pants down, and go naked to bed" Casablanca 1942 "I stick my neck out for nobody." Mahatma Gandhi "An eye for an eye makes us all blind" The phantom of the opera 1925 ""Feast your eyes! Glut your soul on my accursed ugliness!" Bible, proverbs 13:19 "The desire accomplished is sweet to the soul" John wayne "Life is tough, but it`s tougher when you`re stupid." Psalms 118:24 "This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it." General Douglas MacArthur "Always there has been some terrible evil at home or some monstrous foreign power that was going to gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it" Condoleeza Rice "You cannot be on one hand dedicated to peace and on the other dedicated to violence. Those two things are irreconcilable" Voltaire "All murderers are punished unless they kill in large numbers and to the sound of trumpets" Fred allen "The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion." Butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "I couldn`t do that. Could you do that? How can they do that? Who are those guys?" Ron white "The next time you have a thought... let it go." Erich fromm "Mother`s love is peace. It need not be acquired, it need not be deserved" Woody Allen "If it turns out that there is a God, I don`t think that he`s evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he`s an underachiever." Rick Blaine "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine." The big sleep 1946 "So you`re a private detective. I didn`t know they existed, except in books, or else they were greasy little men snooping around hotel corridors." Khalil gibran "Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens." Charles Caleb Colton "Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner" Alfred Hitchcock "I am scared easily,here is a list of my adrenaline,production: 1: small children,2: policemen,3: high places,4: that my next movie will not be as good as the last one" Diane von furstenberg "I had arranged a birthday party for him and my children, who are all Aquarians. Instead, we got married. I ran out of excuses. It was just us and my children." Groucho Marx "I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent,as written in our contract" Alfred Adler "Our modern states are preparing for war without even knowing the future enemy" Woody Allen "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down." Scott hamilton "The only disability in life is a bad attitude." Oscar Wilde "In life, we are all in the gutter. Some of us just tend to look up at the stars" Erich fromm "If a person loves only one other person and is indifferent to all others, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment, or an enlarged egotism" Thomas moore "A friendship that like love is warm; A love like friendship, steady" Fran lebowitz "Polite conversation is rarely either." Dean karnazes "I`ve raced on all seven continents at least twice. I`ve probably run thousands of races. But the single race that I`m most proud is a 10K. Yes, a 10K. I ran it with my daughter on her 10th birthday." West side story 1961 "Te adoro, Anton." Martin luther "Faith is a living, daring confidence in God`s grace, so sure and certain that a man could stake his life on it a thousand times." H. H. Munro "He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death" Robert louis stevenson "To become what we are capable of becoming is the only end in life." Steven wright "What`s another word for Thesaurus?" Victor hugo "The first symptom of love in a young man is timidity; in a girl boldness" 2001: a space odyssey 1968 "Look, Dave, I can see you`re really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over." Caddyshack 1980 "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac... It`s in the hole! It`s in the hole! It`s in the hole!" 1 john 4:18 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment" It happened one night 1934 "A good night`s rest`ll do you a lot of good. Besides, you got nothing to worry about: the walls of Jericho will protect you from the big bad wolf." Tootsie 1982 "That is one nutty hospital." Navjot singh sidhu "We`ll take the cake with the red cherry on top." George burns "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." Virginia satir "Life is not what it`s supposed to be. It`s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference." The roaring twenties 1939 "He used to be a big shot." Star Wars "May the force be with you." Henny youngman "If you`re going to do something tonight that you`ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late." Gabrielle reece "Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are." Joseph Cimino "An excuse is the mark of a moral coward" Lou holtz "Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it." Albert Einstein "Force always attracts men of low morality" Truman Capote "Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act" Gilda radner "Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what`s going to happen next." Tom brokaw "You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world." Catherine bell "The main prank that we play with props is for people`s birthdays. The special effects people will put a little explosive in the cake so it blows up in their face - that`s always fun to play on a guest star, or one of the trainees or someone who`s new." The war of the roses 1989 "Was it as good for you as it was for me?" Oscar wilde "I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everything" Adam lambert "`Come out` is so funny to me because I`ve never been in." Ludwig von Mises "History has witnessed the failure of many endeavors to impose peace by war,cooperation by coercion,unanimity by slaughtering dissidents. A lasting order cannot be established by bayonets" Gabriel byrne "Presents don`t really mean much to me. I don`t want to sound mawkish, but - it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love" Rom 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." Smedley Butler "War is a racket" Robert frost "The greatest thing in family life is to take a hint when a hint is intended-and not to take a hint when a hint isn`t intended." Steve jobs "Design is a funny word. Some people think design means how it looks. But of course, if you dig deeper, it`s really how it works." H.L. Menken "When fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression" Woody Allen "Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable." James allen "A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life." Joseph campbell "Opportunities to find deeper powers within ourselves come when life seems most challenging." Katherine jenkins "I`m over the moon to be involved in the `Doctor Who` Christmas special. I can`t quite believe it as it`s a part of the family tradition at the Jenkins household. I heard the news that I got the role on my 30th birthday and it was the best birthday present ever." Albert Einstein "A table,a chair,a bowl of fruit and a violin; what else does a man need to be happy?" Tennessee williams "To be free is to have achieved your life." Charlie sheen "I saw 28 Days. I don`t remember rehab being like a day camp or being that funny. Rehab is a dumping ground. It`s a big landfill." North by northwest 1959 "You gentlemen aren`t really trying to kill my son, are you?" David herbert lawrence "In every living thing there is the desire for love" Marcus Tullius Cicero "The sinews of war are infinite money" John 14:6 "Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." Eric hoffer "It is easier to love humanity as a whole than to love one`s neighbor" Christopher walken "There`s something dangerous about what`s funny. Jarring and disconcerting. There is a connection between funny and scary." Sam levenson "It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, `Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you`ll find one at the end of your arm.`" Yoko ono "When I turned 60, it didn`t bother me at all." James Madison "Of all the enemies to public liberty war is,perhaps the most to be dreaded because it compromises and develops the germ of every other" Albert Einstein "The release of atomic energy has not created a new problem. It has merely made more urgent the necessity of solving an existing one" Mark Twain "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven" Robert frost "Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired" Selma blair "I`m one of those hovering mothers and I know it`s really important to have an independent child, so I`m trying to back off, but it`s hard. I love him so much, and he`s so funny and cute to me." Boris Grushenko Woody Allen in "Love and Death" "The key here, I think, is to not think of death as an end. But, but, think of it more as a very effective way of cutting down on your expenses." Ronald Reagan "Peace is not absence of conflict,it is the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means" E. M. Forster "Most quarrels are inevitable at the time; incredible afterwards" Little caesar 1931 "Mother of Mercy! Is this the end of Rico?" George orwell "To an ordinary human being, love means nothing if it does not mean loving some people more than others" Evan rachel wood "I`ll never forget my 24th birthday when my tooth got punched out. And for a second I was like, it would be really hilarious if I sold it on eBay. But I can`t, that`s just too creepy. I don`t think I can go there." Karl Kraus "War: first,one hopes to win,in the end,one is surprised that everyone has lost" My man godfrey 1936 "Oh, Money, money, money! The Frankenstein Monster that destroys souls." Sigmund freud "We are never so defensless against suffering as when we love" Khalil gibran "Hallow the body as a temple to comeliness and sanctify the heart as a sacrifice to love; love recompenses the adorers" Abraham maslow "If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life." Young frankenstein 1974 "Oh-oh-oh, sweet mystery of life - at last I found you!" Thomas jefferson "Politics is such a torment that I advise everyone I love not to mix with it" Emily Dickinson "I felt it shelter to speak to you" Finding nemo 2003 "Fish are friends, not food." Garet Garrett "Is it security you want? There is no security at the top of the world" Alan lakein "Time = Life, Therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life." The spy who loved me 1977 "Keeping the British end up, Sir." Gloria Steinem "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle" Groucho Marx "From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down,I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it" Roger caras "Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole." Torquato tasso "Love is when he gives you a piece of your soul, that you never knew was missing" Frank sinatra "I feel sorry for people who don`t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that`s as good as they`re going to feel all day." Pierre de Coubertin "All sports for all people" Henry Kissinger "What political leaders decide,intelligence services tend to seek to justify" Groucho Marx "I must confess,I was born at a very early age" Jonah hill "The fact that the Kardashians could be more popular than a show like `Mad Men` is disgusting. It`s a super disgusting part of our culture, but I still find it funny to make a joke about it." Friedrich nietzsche "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how." Socrates "All wars are fought for money" Marcus aurelius "To the wise, life is a problem; to the fool, a solution." Fried Green Tomatoes "A heart can be broken; but it keeps beating just the same." Jim carrey "I love playing ego and insecurity combined" Reba mcentire "To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a funny bone." Michelle obama "My mother`s love has always been a sustaining force for our family, and one of my greatest joys is seeing her integrity, her compassion, her intelligence reflected in my daughters" Albert Einstein "Before God we are all equally wise,and equally foolish." Khalil gibran "If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work" Moshe Dayan "If you want to make peace,you don`t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies" Stalag 17 1953 "Nobody has ever escaped from Stalag 17. Not alive, anyway." Manhattan 1979 "You have to have a little faith in people." Mr. deeds goes to town 1936 "But, in the opinion of the court, you are not only sane but you`re the sanest man that ever walked into this courtroom. Case dismissed." Zora neale hurston "Love makes your soul crawl out from its hiding place" Arsenic and old lace 1944 "He said I looked like Boris Karloff." Shanghai express 1932 "It took more than one man to change my name to Shanghai Lily." Henry Louis Mencken "Demagogue: One who preaches a doctrine he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots" Arnold schwarzenegger "The resistance that you fight physically in the gym and the resistance that you fight in life can only build a strong character." Scarface 1983 "Say `hello` to my little friend!" Ray charles "Love is a special word, and I use it only when I mean it. You say the word too much and it becomes cheap" Sonny Wortzik "Attica! Attica!" Marty 1955 "All right, so I`ll go to the Stardust Ballroom. I`ll put on a blue suit, and I`ll go. And you know what I`m gonna get for my trouble? Heartache. A big night of heartache." Frederick douglass "The life of the nation is secure only while the nation is honest, truthful, and virtuous." Robert louis stevenson "There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner: that, in the dinner, the sweets come last." Anthony anderson "I`m not a comedian. I`m an actor who just happens to be funny on occasion." Charles m. schulz "My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I`m happy. I can`t figure it out. What am I doing right?" William james "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes." David lee roth "I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass." 1 pet 2:24 "He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed." George sand "There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved" Theodore roosevelt "I wish to preach, not the doctrine of ignoble ease, but the doctrine of the strenuous life." Fran lebowitz "Life is something to do when you can`t get to sleep." Thomas Jefferson "If a nation expects to be ignorant and free,in a state of civilization,it expects what never was and never will be" Truman capote "Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act." I was a teenage frankenstein 1957 "I`ll never forget his face after the accident. Never." Matthew 18:18 "Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven." Lucius annaeus seneca "A gift consists not in what is done or given, but in the intention of the giver or doer." Martin luther king, jr. "Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that" Napoleon hill "It takes half your life before you discover pain life is a do-it-yourself project." Thomas Jefferson "Commerce with all nations,alliance with none,should be our motto" Frederick the Great "If my soldiers were to begin to think,not one of them would remain in the army" Ludwig von Mises "War can really cause no economic boom,at least not directly,since an increase in wealth never does result from destruction of goods" Lucille ball "One of the things I learned the hard way was that it doesn`t pay to get discouraged. Keeping busy and making optimism a way of life can restore your faith in yourself." Andre breton "All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name." Wallace shawn "You can go to a play that is enjoyable because it`s funny, and then on the next night you can go to a play that`s enjoyable because it`s `disturbing.`" Dwight D. Eisenhower "When people speak to you about a preventive war,you tell them to go and fight it. After my experience,I have come to hate war" Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Jimmy Buffett "If we couldn`t laugh, we`d all go insane" David horowitz "If we celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.`s birthday at a time of presidential inaugurals, this is thanks to Ronald Reagan who created the holiday, and not to the Democratic Congress of the Carter years, which rejected it." The graduate 1967 "I just want to say one word to you- just one word.... `Plastics.`" Audrey hepburn "When you have nobody you can make a cup of tea for, when nobody needs you, that`s when I think life is over." James Wolcott "Its one thing to fight for what you believe in,another thing to fight for what others believe in" Vincent van gogh "I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people" Simone Weil "The great error of nearly all studies of war,has been to consider war as an episode in foreign policies,when it is an act of interior politics.." Samuel Johnson "I would rather be attacked than unnoticed. For the worst thing you can do to an author is to be silent as to his works" Justice Louis D. Brandeis "To declare that the end justifies the means,to declare that the government may commit crimes,would bring terrible retribution" Jean-Paul Sartre "Total war is no longer war waged by all members of one national community against all those of another. It is total,because it may well involve the whole world" Martin short "I think I`m funny because my family, my siblings were funny." H. l. mencken "Adultery is the application of democracy to love" Samuel butler "Human life is as evanescent as the morning dew or a flash of lightning." Rachel mcadams "I`m very silly as a person, but quality silliness on-screen has more of an art to it. Harrison Ford, whom I was in `Morning Glory` with, has mastered that dry funny better than anyone." Henry Ford "Anyone who stops learning is old,whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young" Rabindranath tagore "We live in the world when we love it" Virginia woolf "You cannot find peace by avoiding life." Pablo picasso "Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." General Smedley Butler USMC,Ret. "My mental faculties remained in suspended animation while I obeyed the orders of the higher-ups. This is typical with everyone in the military" Jonathan Lockwood Huie "Friendship often leads to love,but lust seldom lead to friendship" The bridge on the river kwai 1957 "Madness! Madness!" Marilyn vos savant "Have enough sense to know, ahead of time, when your skills will not extend to wallpapering." Joseph joubert "A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve" Lewis Mumford "In war,the army is not merely a pure consumer,but a negative producer.." Genesis 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them." Theodore Roosevelt "That we are to stand by the president,right or wrong is not only unpatriotic and servile,but is morally treasonable to the American public" Sigmund freud "Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness" Thomas aquinas "The things that we love tell us what we are" H. l. mencken "Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?" Jose ortega y gasset "Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else" Bertrand Russell "In the part of this universe that we know there is great injustice, and often the good suffer, and often the wicked prosper, and one hardly knows which of those is the more annoying." Midnight cowboy 1969 "(Hey! I`m walking here! I`m walking here!" Jean-Luc Godard "Cinema is the most beautiful fraud in the world." Steve jobs "My favorite things in life don`t cost any money. It`s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time." Mark ruffalo "People say funny things all the time during really serious moments in life." Mrs. parker and the vicious circle 1994 "Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren`t lawful; Nooses give; Gas smells awful; You might as well live." Daisaku Ikeda "It is by fighting and triumphing over the enemies of the Buddha that we ourselves become Buddhas" Ashley scott "What`s funny is my husband doesn`t have any tattoos at all, so he must be the very conservative one." Tacitus "The worst crimes were dared by a few,willed by more and tolerated by all" Denis Diderot "From fanaticism to barbarism is only one step" Amy weber "I lost twins at 14 weeks, and I had to have an D and C on my birthday." Bill cosby "Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it." Eva herzigova "On my birthday, I was in Milan for the collections." Spike milligan "My Father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic." Play clip excerpt: "You are a sad, strange little man. And you have my pity." Gone With The Wind "After all, tomorrow is another day!" Network 1976 "...I`m as mad as hell, and I`m not going to take this anymore!" Sara blakely "The word `Spanx` was funny. It made people laugh. No one ever forgot it." Unknown "Anarchy may not be a better form of government, but it`s better than no government at all" Jessamyn West "A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor,for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself" Doug Horton "Be your own hero, it`s cheaper than a movie ticket" Henry rollins "Loneliness adds beauty to life. It puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better." Jo brand "I thought I was funny as a kid." Albert camus "As a remedy to life in society I would suggest the big city. Nowadays, it is the only desert within our means." Langston hughes "Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." 1 pet 5:7 "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Mikhail baryshnikov "I like to go to anybody else`s birthday, and if I`m invited I`m a good guest. But I never celebrate my birthdays. I really don`t care." Thomas Paine "Peace,which costs nothing,is attended with with infinitely more advantage than any victory with all its expence" Robert Orben "Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian" Isaac bashevis singer "Kindness, I`ve discovered, is everything in life." Elizabeth kenny "It`s better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life." Robin williams "Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?" Gabriel byrne "Presents don`t really mean much to me. I don`t want to sound mawkish, but - it was the realization that I have a great many people in my life who really love me, and who I really love." Hugh sidey "A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one`s heart and some laughter on one`s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life." 2 timothy 1:12 "...I am not ashamed: for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day." Toni morrison "I like marriage. The idea." Network 1976 "I`m not sure she`s capable of any real feelings. She`s television generation. She learned life from Bugs Bunny. The only reality she knows comes to her from over the TV set." Bertrand Russell "If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years." Ernest Hemingway "No weapon has ever settled a moral problem. It can impose a solution but it cannot guarantee it to be a just one" Woody Allen "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." Carl sagan "For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love" Lee Hawkins "All these nervous breakdowns are driving me crazy" Jean paul "Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time." Leslie fiedler "I long for the raised voice, the howl of rage or love" Voltairine de Clayre "A standing army is a standing menace to liberty" Joel osteen "You can change your world by changing your words... Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue." Who framed roger rabbit 1988 "Hide me, Eddie, p-p-p-puh-leeeease." Francis Bacon "I will never be an old man. To me,old age is always 15 years older than I am" George Bernard "It is the deed that teaches, not the name we give it. Murder and capital punishment are not the opposites that cancel one another, but similars that breed the same kind" Tahar ben jelloun "I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It`s not very funny, but it`s sincere. My commitment is to sincerity." Unknown "Hypocrisy is the vaseline of social intercourse" Groucho Marx "I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it" Craig ferguson "I`ve started looking at my own father a bit funny. He assures me, though, that I really am the son of a Scottish postman." Albert Einstein "Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions" George Orwell "The essential act of war is destruction,not necessarily of human lives,but of the products of human labor" O. henry "If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they`d never marry." Mildred pierce 1945 "My mother - a waitress!" Dar williams "The funny thing is musicians often love to go to see visual art because you`ve got all these pictures to turn into metaphors." I love you not only for what you have made of yourself,but for what you are making of me "I love you not only for what you are,but for what I am when I am with you" Kelly osbourne "It`s funny that all these goths paint their faces with such white make-up and that is the actual colour of my skin, I am that pale!" Henry david thoreau "I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude" Mother teresa "Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home" Jerry seinfeld "It`s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper." Virginia woolf "One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well" John wooden "Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who`ll argue with you." Lao tzu "Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage" Hebrews 12:2 "Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God." Rosie perez "In my circle of friends, I`ve always been loud and funny and talkative. But as soon as I step out of that circle, I get very quiet and introspective. I don`t want the spotlight on me." Nelson mandela "I made a mistake by being ejected from the presidency. Next time, I will choose a Cabinet which will allow me to be life President." William james "This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it." Lewis mumford "Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf." William lyon phelps "If at first you don`t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything." Steven wright "A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I`m afraid of widths." Eric Alterman "History is replete with examples of empires mounting impressive military campaigns on the cusp of their impending economic collapse" Karl Von Clausewitz "War is the continuation of politics by other means" Austin powers: international man of mystery 1997 "Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Do I make you horny? Randy?!" George bernard shaw "A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul." Bill cosby "We`re not raising children with the love that we need to" Senator John McCain "War is wretched beyond description,and only a fool or a fraud could sentimentalize its cruel reality" Mother teresa "Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them." Bobby sherman "One I built when I was a kid, and it was a real miniature of Disneyland. I fell in love with the park when I went there with my parents on my 12th birthday." James Carroll "We cloak ourselves in cold indifference to the unnecessary suffering of others--even when we cause it" Arthur Hoppe "Old men declare war because they have failed to solve complex political and economic problems" Isaiah 64:8 "But now, O LORD, thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand." J. k. rowling "The middle class is so funny, it`s the class I know best, and it`s the class where you find the most pretension, so that`s what makes the middle classes so funny." Ulysses S. Grant "Nations,like individuals,are punished for their transgressions" Albert Einstein "Human beings must have action; and they will make it if they cannot find it" Bertrand Russell "It is a waste of energy to be angry with a man who behaves badly, just as it is to be angry with a car that won`t go." Beverley Nichols "Marriage,a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose" Twentieth century 1934 "He won`t shoot himself. It would please too many people." George Bernard Shaw "It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid" Albert camus "Without work, all life goes rotten. But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies." Bonnie and clyde 1967 "My eyes! I think I`m blind." Helen keller "When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another." Erma bombeck "I haven`t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I`ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex." Abba Eban "History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives" Land of the dead 2005 "We don`t negotiate with terrorists." Victor hugo "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves" Tina yothers "They did that little thing on South Park, and they mentioned my name and had a character of me judging a Halloween contest. It was really funny.That made me the coolest aunt on earth." Henri frederic amiel "Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind" It happened one night 1934 "Shapeley`s the name - and that`s the way I like `em!" Touch of evil 1958 "I didn`t recognize you. You should lay off those candy bars...You`re a mess, honey." Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart." Bill gates "Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs." Wayne dyer "What we think determines what happens to us, so if we want to change our lives, we need to stretch our minds." Lord Acton "Where you have a concentration of power in a few hands,all too frequently men with the mentality of gangsters get control" M. Grundler "It is easy to take liberty for granted when you have never had it taken from you" Demetri martin "I think a lot of stuff I find funny is from day dreaming." Alfred lord tennyson "`Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" E. b. white "Be obscure clearly." Leo Tolstoy "In all history there is no war which was not hatched by the governments,the governments alone,independent of the interests of the people,to whom war is always pernicious even when successful" Julia roberts "If you love someone, you say it, right then, out loud. Otherwise, the moment just passes you by" Play clip excerpt: "Ssssmmokin`!" Jorge luis borges "Any life is made up of a single moment, the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, who he is." Alfred Adler "Distorted history boasts of bellicose glory... and seduces the souls of boys to seek mystical bliss in bloodshed and in battles" George Edward Woodberry "Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure" Simone de Beauvoir "If you live long enough,you`ll see that every victory turns into a defeat" Honore de balzac "Nobody loves a woman because she is handsome or ugly, stupid or intelligent. We love because we love" Ben-hur 1959 "And I felt His voice take the sword out of my hand." Sheryl crow "People don`t realize that I`m really funny and I`m an excellent bridge player." South park: bigger longer e uncut 1999 "Guys out there is hurted." Henry drummond "You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love." Martin Luther King,Jr. "It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it" Jeanne moreau "Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age" Friedrich Nietzsche "He who has a why to live can bear almost any how" Hugh Sidey "A sense of humor,is needed armor. Joy in one`s heart and some laughter on one`s lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life" Louise l. hay "Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives" 1 john 4:12 "No man hath seen God at any time" Jeff ross "Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn`t offend somebody it`s probably not a joke. It`s probably an observation that`s not funny. It`s gotta offend somebody somewhere." William Ernest Hocking "I find that a man is as old as his work. If his work keeps him from moving forward, he will look forward with the work" Woody Allen "The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5`7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone." Proverbs 29:7 "The righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern" The wedding singer 1998 "Oh yeah, you do what you gotta do." H. l. mencken "Women have simple tastes. They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love" Dwight l. moody "Faith makes all things possible... love makes all things easy" Matt groening "We`ve got a bunch of new writers now who tell me they grew up watching The Simpsons. It`s bizarre, and they`re writing some very funny stuff." Thomas Jefferson "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man" Kenny loggins "My trust in a higher power that wants me to survive and have love in my life, is what keeps me moving forward" Demetri martin "I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said `Happy Birthday` on it. I didn`t want to waste it so I just wrote `Jesus` on it." Robert staughton lynd "Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one`s own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen." Daniel craig "I find it very easy playing Bond. I think he`s hilarious. He gets himself into some extraordinarily funny situations." David Merrick "It`s not enough that I should succeed,others should fail" Fargo 1996 "I guess that was your accomplice in the wood chipper?" Ludwig von Mises "Modern society,based as it is on the division of labor,can be preserved only under conditions of lasting peace" Reese witherspoon "It`s funny that it all becomes about clothes. It`s bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it`s all about your dress. You can`t get away from it." Psalms 16:8 "I have set the LORD always before me: because he is at my right hand, I shall not be moved." Larry hagman "Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals." Lenny bruce "Miami Beach is where neon goes to die." Ralph waldo emerson "Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art" Dracula 1931 "I never drink wi-i-ine." Leo Tolstoy "What an immense mass of evil must result,from allowing men to assume the right of anticipating what may happen" Barbara Tuchman "War is the unfolding of miscalculations" Albert Camus "Alas,after a certain age every man is responsible for his face" Thomas Mann "War is only a cowardly escape from the problems of peace" Robert frost "Most of the change we think we see in life is due to truths being in and out of favor." Psalms 100:5 "For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations." Thomas Jefferson "Peace and friendship with all mankind is our wisest policy,and I wish we may be permitted to pursue it" Gone with the wind 1939 "Fiddle-dee-dee." Cathy guisewite "Defy your own group. Rebel against yourself." Anais nin "Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one`s courage." Wooderson matthew mcconaughey in dazed and confused 1993 "That`s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age." Cicero "After victory,you have more enemies" Babe 1995 "That`ll do, pig, that`ll do." General Douglas MacArthur "Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear,kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor,with the cry of grave national emergency" Bible, john 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends" Lord byron "Be thou the rainbow in the storms of life. The evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray." Cyrano de bergerac "A kiss is a rosy dot over the `i` of loving" Flannery O`Connor "Everywhere I go, I`m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don`t stifle enough of them" John ciardi "Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old" Proverbs 11:4 "Wealth is useless on the day of wrath, but virtue saves from death" Psalms 12:5 "For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise, saith the LORD; I will set him in safety from him that puffeth at him." Ramman Kenoun "Good leaders serve the interests of their people,while unfit leaders exploit their citizens to serve their own" Carl sandburg "A baby is God`s opinion that life should go on." Rear window 1954 "Oh dear, we`ve become a race of Peeping Toms. What people ought to do is get outside their own house and look in for a change." Planet of the apes 1968 "Take your stinkin` paws off me, you damned dirty ape!" George W. Bush ",the role of the military is to fight and win war and,therefore,prevent war from happening in the first place" Oprah winfrey "I don`t think you ever stop giving. I really don`t. I think it`s an on-going process. And it`s not just about being able to write a check. It`s being able to touch somebody`s life." Red Skelton "All men make mistakes,but married men find out about them sooner" Antoine de saint-exupery "Tell me who admires and loves you, and I will tell you who you are" Charlie chaplin "I suppose that`s one of the ironies of life doing the wrong thing at the right moment." Lao tzu "Because of a great love, one is courageous" Sugar ray leonard "In Italy, I had an Afro, and a lot of the kids came up and felt my hair. It really was funny. I wish I had understood Italian." Victor hugo "Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace." Henny Youngman "The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret" Ramman Kenoun "In war,there are no winners" Taylor charlton heston in planet of the apes 1968 "Take your stinkin` paws off me, you damn dirty ape." Erasmus,the 16th-century scholar "Dulce bellum inexpertis (War is delightful to the inexperienced" Thomas A. Edison "I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world" Summer altice "People are taken aback by a confident, pretty girl who knows what she wants in life and isn`t going to let anyone get in her way. And you know what it`s all about? Jealousy." Jacobo Timerman "We believed ourselves indestructable,watching only the madmen outside our frontiers,and we remained defenseless against our own madmen" James Madison "If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land,it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy" Airplane! 1980 "And Leon is getting laaaaarrrrrger!" Thomas Jefferson "I live for books" Vincent van gogh "The more I think about it, the more I realize there is nothing more artistic than to love others" Play clip 2 excerpt: "I`ve got a good mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it." Alphonse Karr "Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream,and not,as it too often is,the end" Benjamin disraeli "We are all born for love. It is the principle of existence, and its only end" Henry Louis Mencken "Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody is looking" Romans 15:13 "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost." The wizard of oz 1939 "...And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." Henry david thoreau "Our life is frittered away by detail... simplify, simplify." Khalil gibran "Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love" John 13:35 "By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another." The big sleep 1946 "My, my, my! Such a lot of guns around town and so few brains." Mahatma gandhi "I do all the evil I can before I learn to shun it? Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it? If not, we should be sincere enough to admit that we love evil too well to give it up" Batman 1989 "Wait`ll they get a load of me." J. Edgar Hoover "Justice is incidental to law and order" Samuel Hazo "Expect everything, and anything seems nothing. Expect nothing, and anything seems everything" Moliere "Love is often the fruit of marriage" George bernard shaw "Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself." Mark Twain "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that,but the really great make you feel that you,too,can become great" Mr. smith goes to washington 1939 "Dad always used to say the only causes worth fighting for were the lost causes." Victor Hugo "The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved" Jonathan swift "May you live all the days of your life." Art buchwald "This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn`t let me - Homeland Security." Bible, acts 20:35 "It is more blessed to give than to receive" Heb 12:2 "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Mother teresa "If you want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it" General Colin Powell "I want to scare the hell out of the rest of the world" Abraham Flexner "Probably,no nation is rich enough to pay for both war and civilization. We must make our choice; we cannot have both" Deuteronomy 10:20 "Thou shalt fear the Lord thy God, and serve him only: to him thou shalt adhere, and shalt swear by his name. He is thy praise and thy God" Marcus Tullius Cicero "The arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled,and assistance to foreign hands should be curtailed,lest Rome fall" Murray Rothbard "The State thrives on war unless,of course,it is defeated and crushed expands on it,glories in it" John Cory "War is the tool of small-minded scoundrels who worship the death of others on the altar of their greed" Jean ingelow "A healthful hunger for a great idea is the beauty and blessedness of life." Cabin in the cotton 1932 "I`d like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair." Victor hugo "I met in the street a very poor young man who was in love. His hat was old, his coat worn, his cloak was out at the elbows, the water passed through his shoes, - and the stars through his soul" Ps 133:1 "How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!" Napoleon Bonaparte "There are only two powers in the world: the sword and the mind. In the long run,the sword is always defeated by the mind" Soren kierkegaard "Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts." Lord Acton "The one pervading evil of democracy is the tyranny of the party that succeeds,by force or fraud,in carrying elections" Maya angelou "Life loves the liver of it." Gilbert parker "Love knows not distance; it hath no continent; its eyes are for the stars" Abbott and costello meet frankenstein 1948 "Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Invisible Man." The seven year itch 1955 "It`s just my imagination. Some people have flat feet. Some people have dandruff. I have this appalling imagination..." Ken Gillespie "War doesn`t make boys men,it makes men dead" Marilyn monroe "Someday I want to have children and give them all the love I never had" Senator Robert M. La Follette "In times of peace,the war party insists on making preparation for war. As soon as prepared for,it insists on making war" Mark twain "All generalizations are false, including this one." Buddha "A jug fills drop by drop" Matt leblanc "It`s funny - nowadays people that are famous get chased by paparazzi. They have this fame, but they don`t have the money to hide from it." Wayne dyer "You are doomed to make choices. This is life`s greatest paradox." Hannah Arendt "The chief qualification of a mass leader has become unending infallibility; he can never admit an error" Steven wright "I bought some batteries, but they weren`t included." Job 12:9 "Who knoweth not in all these that the hand of the LORD hath wrought this?" James Baldwin "I love America more than any other country in the world and,exactly for this reason,I insist on the right to criticize her perpetually" Albert Einstein "A perfection of means,and confusion of aims,seems to be our main problem." Matthew 5:16 "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." Mignon mclaughlin "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person" Charles dickens "A loving heart is the truest wisdom" Marilyn monroe "I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone`s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really." John 9:25 "He answered and said, Whether he be a sinner or no, I know not: one thing I know, that, whereas I was blind, now I see." Mahatma gandhi "Where there is love there is life" Michael caine "Funny things happen to you in movies for silly reasons." City slickers 1991 "I crap bigger than you!" Romans 5:17 "For if by one man`s offence death reigned by one; much more they which receive abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness shall reign in life by one, Jesus Christ." Psalms 1:3 "And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Seann william scott "I don`t really necessarily think I`m a funny guy, but I like the opportunity to take on something that I don`t feel I`m the best at doing." John f. kennedy "For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future." Mahatma gandhi "Let everyone try and find that as a result of daily prayer he adds something new to his life, something with which nothing can be compared." Taxi driver 1976 "You talkin` to me? You talkin` to me? You talkin` to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin` to? You talkin` to me? Well, I`m the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you`re talkin` to?" Victor cruz "My mom and my father`s birthday are on the same day." Friedrich nietzsche "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness" Paloma faith "I`m surrounded by friends and family who are not that impressed by celebrity. They don`t have any problem telling me I`m acting like an idiot or I`m not that funny." Lao Tzu "Violence,even well intentioned,always rebounds upon oneself" Euripides "Down on your knees, and thank heaven, fasting, for a good man`s love" Groucho Marx "I don`t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members" H. L. Mencken "I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone" Friedrich nietzsche "Love matches, so called, have illusion for their father and need for their mother" W. c. fields "I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food." Heb 11:1 "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." 1 john 3:16 "This is how we know what love is Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers." Lenny bruce "There are never enough I Love You`s" Say anything... 1989 "I gave her my heart, and she gave me a pen." Carl P. G. von Clausewitz "War is not an independent phenomenon,but the continuation of politics by different means" Henry david thoreau "As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness weakness." Emma stone "I think `Saturday Night Live`, starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner." Christopher morley "There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Senator James W. Fulbright "The biggest lesson I learned from Vietnam is not to trust [our own] government statements" Terry malloy marlon brando in on the waterfront 1954 "I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let`s face it." Tootsie 1982 "I was a better man with you, as a woman, than I ever was with a woman, as a man. Know what I mean? I just gotta learn to do it without the dress." Nigella lawson "And, in a funny way, each death is different and you mourn each death differently and each death brings back the death you mourned earlier and you get into a bit of a pile-up." Henk Middelraad "Emphasis on military prowess is an indication of philosophical poverty" Robert A. Heinlein "It is a truism that almost any sect,cult,or religion will legislate its creed into law if it acquires the political power to do so.." Christian Nevell Bovee "In politics, merit is rewarded by the possessor being raised, like a target, to a position to be fired at" Tom Van Meurs "Democracies become dictatorships if governments do not listen to the voice of the people" Tropic thunder 2008 "I know who I am! I`m a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude!" Sigmund freud "A man who has been the indisputable favorite of his mother keeps for life the feeling of a conqueror." Marquis de Sade "Social order at the expense of liberty is hardly a bargain" Woody allen "Seventy percent of success in life is showing up." Thomas Jones "Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate" Witness for the prosecution 1957 "Killed him? She executed him." Carl hiaasen "I`ve always enjoyed making people laugh. But in order for me to be funny, I have to get ticked off about something." Sixteen candles 1984 "Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes?" Albert Einstein "It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder" Voltaire "To the wicked,everything serves as pretext" Jimmy carr "I didn`t plan to be the rude middle-class comedian. You write a certain type of joke that you find funny, and mine happen to be often rude. Yes, it`s juvenile, but that`s me." Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." Philippians 4:6 "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God." Friedrich Nietzsche "The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently" Jon scieszka "I was born full grown in the middle of a hurricane and an earthquake on 10 September 1954, 12.52 P.M. When I found out that I had missed lunch, I gave such a shout that the Earth stopped and spun backwards two days. That`s why I celebrate my birthday on 8 September." Mother teresa "Many people mistake our work for our vocation. Our vocation is the love of Jesus" Luis bunuel "Age is something that doesn`t matter, unless you are a cheese." Socrates "True wisdom comes to each of us when we realize how little we understand about life, ourselves, and the world around us." Lost horizon 1937 "...a way of life based on one simple rule: Be kind." Helen keller "What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us" Thomas fuller "A gift, with a kind countenance, is a double present." Tina yothers "There`s a constant flow of child actors. It`s kind of funny to watch the new crew come through. I think, You poor little things. You`re going to have to struggle for a long time." E. B. White "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day" Psalms 125:3 "For the rod of the wicked shall not rest upon the lot of the righteous; lest the righteous put forth their hands unto iniquity." Colonel James A. Donovan,Marine Corps "The dangerous patriot,drifts into chauvinism and exhibits blind enthusiasm for military actions" Barbara pym "How absurd and delicious it is to be in love with somebody younger than yourself. Everybody should try it" Steve coogan "The great thing is that the funny side of getting old is fuel for my comedy." C.S. Lewis "Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" your neighbor; act as if you did" Harold ramis "Billy Crystal knows how to make people laugh. He`s got 30 years on stage... there`s no telling him what`s funny." Jack Kingston "Marriage is an institution fits in perfect harmony with the laws of nature; whereas systems of slavery and segregation were designed to brutally oppress people and thereby violated the laws of nature" Hebrews 6:10 "For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labour of love, which ye have shewed toward his name, in that ye have ministered to the saints, and do minister." Cool hand luke 1967 "Oh, Luke. He was some boy. Cool Hand Luke. Hell, he`s a natural-born world-shaker." Voltaire "Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung" To catch a thief 1955 "You want a leg or a breast?" Nuremburg War Tribunal "To initiate a war of aggression,is the supreme international crime differing only from other war crimes in that it contains within itself the accumulated evil of the whole" 2 corinthians 5:21 "For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him." Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." George Bernard Shaw "Man is the only animal of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid,There is no harm in a well-fed lion. It has no ideals,no sect,no party.." Cary grant "My formula for living is quite simple. I get up in the morning and I go to bed at night. In between, I occupy myself as best I can." A place in the sun 1951 "Tell Mama, tell Mama all." Bob newhart "I really don`t know what makes a comedian. I think it`s a family background and environment. Yet if you put the same ingredients in another person, he may never utter a funny line." Queen elizabeth ii "Grief is the price we pay for love" Joan Powers "Don`t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can`t hear, and not bothering" George Washington "It is our true policy to steer clear of entangling alliances with any portion of the foreign world" Betty white "Well, I mean, if a joke or humor is bawdy, it`s got to be funny enough to warrant it. You can`t just have it bawdy or dirty just for the sake of being that - it`s got to be funny." Bertrand Russell "Either man will abolish war,or war will abolish man" Jeff bridges "It`s funny. You succeed, but now where are you gonna go from there? I`ve got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time." Jean de la bruyere "We perceive when love begins and when it declines by our embarrassment when alone together" Helen keller "Life is either a great adventure or nothing." Elbert hubbard "Love, we say, is life; but love without hope and faith is agonizing death." Michael jordan "Even when I`m old and grey, I won`t be able to play it, but I`ll still love the game" Ramman Kenoun "A man who kills on his own is a murderer. A man who kills at his government`s request is a national hero" Albert einstein "You can`t blame gravity for falling in love" George Burns "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate" Samuel Johnson "Bachelors have consciences,married men have wives" Oprah winfrey "The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate." Henry adams "The Indian Summer of life should be a little sunny and a little sad, like the season, and infinite in wealth and depth of tone, but never hustled." Leo buscaglia "I have a very strong feeling that the opposite of love is not hate - it`s apathy. It`s not giving a damn" Audrey hepburn "The most important thing is to enjoy your life - to be happy - it`s all that matters." James Fallows "Always write angry letters to your enemies. Never mail them" Kahlil Gibran "Where is the justice of political power if it,marches upon neighboring lands,killing thousands and pillaging the very hills" Matthew 22:37 "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Mark twain "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." Thomas Paine "That there are men in all countries who get their living by war,and by keeping up the quarrels of Nations is as shocking as it is true.." Ephesians 5:2 "And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour." To kill a mockingbird 1962 "I was to think of these days many times. Of Jem and Dill and Boo Radley, and Tom Robinson- and Atticus. He would be in Jem`s room all night, and he would be there when Jem waked up in the morning." Frank Carson "I don`t think my wife likes me very much,when I had a heart attack she wrote for an ambulance" John 15:13 "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." Walter lord "Brilliantly lit from stem to stern, she looked like a sagging birthday cake." Alan Watts "Wars based on principle are far more destructive,the attacker will not destroy that which he is after" Richard Cobden "Wars have ever been but another aristocratic mode of plundering and oppressing commerce" Leo tolstoy "A man can live and be healthy without killing animals for food; therefore, if he eats meat, he participates in taking animal life merely for the sake of his appetite." The good, the bad, and the ugly 1966 "When you have to shoot, shoot. Don`t talk." Paula deen "I don`t care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I`ll laugh because they`ll probably be funny." Napoleon hill "One must marry one`s feelings to one`s beliefs and ideas. That is probably the only way to achieve a measure of harmony in one`s life." John krasinski "Being funny is one of my greatest strengths. I can make girls smile when they`re down, and when they`re having a good time, I can carry on the joke." George orwell "One can love a child, perhaps, more deeply than one can love another adult, but it is rash to assume that the child feels any love in return" Lydia Sicher "Wars are inevitable,as long as we believe that wars are inevitable. The moment we don`t believe it anymore it is not inevitable" C. S. Lewis "Friendship is unnecessary,like philosophy,like art,It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival" Hedy lamarr "Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid." Theodore roosevelt "Never throughout history has a man who lived a life of ease left a name worth remembering." Josh billings "Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can`t help but smile on it" P. J. O`Rourke "All lies are told with a straight face. It is truth that`s said with a dismissive giggle" Bill cosby "There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God." George Orwell "War is a way of shattering to pieces,materials which might otherwise be used to make the masses too comfortable and,too intelligent" Brooks Atkinson "After each war there is a little less democracy left to save" Ghostbusters 1984 "We came. We saw. We kicked its ass." Doug Horton "Live to learn, learn to live, then teach others" Ben stiller "Jim Carrey, a comic genius, has a harder time overcoming the public`s desire for him to be funny simply because he`s so good at it." Red river 1948 "When we get back to the ranch, I want ya to change the brand. It`ll be like this, the Red River `D`, and we`ll add an `M` to it. You don`t mind that, do ya?...You`ve earned it." Taxi driver 1976 "Loneliness has followed me my whole life. Everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There`s no escape. I`m God`s lonely man." Henry Havelock Ellis "If I didn`t have a problem with alcohol, I`d drink all the time" Puff daddy "I have had fans make me the big picture collages of the photo books; I have had fans send me birthday cakes... sing to me on my voicemail. I have had fans flash me. I have had older fans give me their bras and underwear onstage." Brief encounter 1945 "Whatever your dream was, it wasn`t a very happy one, was it?...Is there anything I can do to help?...You`ve been a long way away...Thank you for coming back to me." H. L. Mencken "The urge to save humanity is almost always only a false-face for the urge to rule it" Norman vincent peale "The life of inner peace, being harmonious and without stress, is the easiest type of existence." Sigmund Freud "Civilization began the first time an angry person cast a word instead of a rock" Gillian anderson "It`s so funny, because right now I`m very tired and my brains a little dead, I tend to get very focused and serious. So, I`m probably coming off a lot more like Scully right now." Honore de balzac "True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is always young in the heart" Matt groening "Sometimes people get mad at The Simpsons` subversive story telling, but there`s another message in there, which is a celebration of making wild, funny stories." Paul feig "What`s so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they`re going to go for, and it`s just great." H. l. mencken "Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." Citizen kane 1941 "R-o-s-e-b-u-d." 2 tim 1:7 "For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." The more the merrier 1943 "Damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!" Albert Einstein "Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex,It takes a touch of genius,and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction." Bertrand russell "Much that passes as idealism is disguised hatred or disguised love of power" All that heaven allows 1955 "If you`re impatient, you have no business growing trees." Jean Jacques Rousseau "Frequent punishments are always a sign of weakness or laziness on the part of a government" George bernard shaw "The fickleness of the women I love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me" Machete 2010 "Machete don`t text." Audrey hepburn "I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it`s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It`s probably the most important thing in a person" William james "The great use of life is to spend it for something that will outlast it." Andre breton "Love is when you meet someone who tells you something new about yourself" Psalms 23:4 "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." Night of the lepus 1972 "Attention! Attention! Ladies and gentlemen, attention! There is a herd of killer rabbits headed this way and we desperately need your help!" Proverbs 29:4 "By justice a king gives a country stability" Christopher marlowe "Come live with me and be my love, And we will all the pleasures prove, That valleys, groves, hills, and fields, Woods, or steepy mountain yields" Unknown "Love your enemies: they`ll go crazy trying to figure out what you`re up to" Pretty woman 1990 "I want the fairy tale." Jerry Hall "My mother said it was simple to keep a man: you must be a maid in the living room,a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I`d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit" Jerry lewis "I turned down `Some Like It Hot.` See how smart I am? I felt I couldn`t bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don`t need to compete with the wardrobe." Charles de Secondat,baron de Montesquieu "The tyranny of a prince in an oligarchy is not so dangerous to public welfare as the apathy of a citizen in a democracy" Euripides "Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness" Marcus aurelius "Life is neither good or evil, but only a place for good and evil." Lenny kravitz "The fans of `The Hunger Games,` of the book, are very passionate. It`s funny: Even at my concerts there are people holding up `Cinna` signs." Louis armstrong "What we play is life." Angel and the badman 1947 "Not me, Mister. From now on, I`m a farmer." Aristotle "Different men seek after happiness in different ways and by different means, and so make for themselves different modes of life and forms of government." Sholom aleichem "Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor." Frank lloyd wright "Give me the luxuries of life and I will willingly do without the necessities." Bart cleavon little in blazing saddles 1974 "Excuse me while I whip this out." Jay leno "Don`t forget Mother`s Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad`s Third Wife Day." Boogie nights 1997 "I am a star. I`m a star, I`m a star, I`m a star. I am a big, bright, shining star. That`s right." Chevy chase "All my children inherited perfect pitch." The invisible man 1933 "We`ll begin with a reign of terror - a few murders here and there. Murders of great men, murders of little men. Just to show we make no distinction." Marcus aurelius "And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last." Francis beaumont "Oh, love will make a dog howl in rhyme" Gregory Bateson "Every move we make in fear of the next war in fact hastens it" Liv tyler "I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You`re young enough to get away with things, but you`re old enough, too." George eliot "Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul on another" Corita kent "Life is a succession of moments, to live each one is to succeed." Hebrews 13:5 "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." Doctor zhivago 1965 "Ah, then it`s a gift." Hud 1963 "The only question I ever ask any woman is: `What time is your husband coming home?`" Katey sagal "`Married with Children` was racy. It was sexist. It was a lot of things, but mostly it was funny." Jim rohn "The major value in life is not what you get. The major value in life is what you become." Karl Hess "Vietnam should remind conservatives that whenever you put your faith in big government for any reason,sooner or later you wind up an apologist for mass murder" Henry james "Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." Thich Nhat Hanh "In order to rally people,governments need enemies. They want us to be afraid,to hate,so we will rally behind them" A day at the races 1937 "Emily, I have a little confession to make. I really am a horse doctor. But marry me and I`ll never look at any other horse." Mikhail Gofman, reader "One day the end of the world will come as a result of a `justified` war" My fair lady 1964 "Eliza? Where the devil are my slippers?" Jesus christ "As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you" Omar khayyam "Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life." Martin Luther King III "We all have to be concerned about terrorism,but you will never end terrorism by terrorizing others" Fritz Medicus "If,finally,violence meets with violence,we have confirmation of the age old adage that war though it kills many men,makes many more men evil" Ogden Nash "Marriage is the alliance of two people,one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them" Alfred Nobel "Hope is nature`s veil for hiding truth`s nakedness" John lennon "Guilt for being rich, and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn`t enough and you have to go and get shot or something" Demetri martin "Stand up is really fun because if I think of a joke or a funny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they laugh right away." Ambrose Bierce "The slightest acquaintance with history shows that powerful republics are the most warlike and unscrupulous of nations" George Orwell "The nationalist not only does not disapprove of atrocities committed by his own side,he has a remarkable capacity for not even hearing about them" Jose rizal "It is a useless life that is not consecrated to a great ideal. It is like a stone wasted on the field without becoming a part of any edifice." Steel Magnolias "Smile, it enhances your face value." Francis John McConnell "We must get away from the idea that America is to be the leader of the world in everything" Bob dylan "At times in my life the only place I have been happy is when I am on stage." Titanic 1953 "Thus, on April the 15th, 1912, at 0220 hours, as the passengers and crew sang a Welsh hymn, R.M.S. Titanic passed from the British Registry. 712 people in 19 lifeboats survived." John V. Lindsay "Those who suppress freedom always do so in the name of law and order" Josh billings "There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory." North by northwest 1959 "It`s going to be a long night...and I don`t particularly like the book I`ve started...You know what I mean?" George Santayana "It takes patience to appreciate domestic bliss; volatile spirits prefer unhappiness" Jim morrison "People fear death even more than pain. It`s strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend." Ernest hemingway "There is no lonelier man in death, except the suicide, than that man who has lived many years with a good wife and then outlived her. If two people love each other there can be no happy end to it" Witness 1985 "You be careful out among them, English." Romans 12:1 "I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service." Groucho Marx "Go,and never darken my towels again" Ellen glasgow "It is lovely, when I forget all birthdays, including my own, to find that somebody remembers me." Victor hugo "The most powerful symptom of love is a tenderness which becomes at times almost insupportable" Craig bruce "It`s funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists` goals." Beverly Sills "In youth we run into difficulties. In old age difficulties run into us" Kristen bell "I love nerds. Comic-Con junkies are the tastemakers of tomorrow. Isn`t that funny? The tables have turned." Ludwig von Mises "The root of the evil is not the construction of new,more dreadful weapons. It is the spirit of conquest" Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Marcellus wallace ving rhames in pulp fiction 1994 "You hear me talkin`, hillbilly boy? I ain`t through with you by a damn sight. I`m gonna get Medieval on your ass." Genesis 1:26 "And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth." Ludwig von Mises "The philosophy of protectionism is a philosophy of war" Star wars 1977 "We seem to be made to suffer. It`s our lot in life." Scott Ritter "We say that we care about the war,but we dont even really know what were fighting for" Revelation 4:11 "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honour and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created." Funny face 1957 "I don`t want to stop. I like it. Take the picture, take the picture." Robert A. Taft "I do not believe any policy which has behind it the threat of military force is justified as part of the basic foreign policy of the United States except to defend the liberty of our own people" Isa 53:5 "But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." All quiet on the western front 1930 "You`ll have to forgive me, comrade." Chris Hedges "In war,we always deform ourselves,our essence" Batman 1966 "Some days, you just can`t get rid of a bomb." The boys in the band 1970 ""Give me Librium or give me meth."" Joan of arc "One life is all we have and we live it as we believe in living it. But to sacrifice what you are and to live without belief, that is a fate more terrible than dying." Dave barry "Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it." Nima Shirali,Middle Eastern Reconciliation Forum "Let us become inspired by inherent beauty,and not impassioned by manufactured hate" Rom 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit." Mae west "I used to be Snow White, but I drifted." Erich Fromm "Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe" Gen 1:1 "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth." William wordsworth "That best portion of a man`s life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love" Steven wright "For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out." Johnny depp "There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love" Lauren graham "I didn`t grow up identifying with beauty. I grew up thinking I could be smart and funny - those are the things I got feedback on." Kellan lutz "See, I don`t really go after girls. Most of the girlfriends I`ve had have come after me. So it`s really funny when girls get offended because I don`t hit on them." Oscar Wilde "A man can`t be too careful in the choice of his enemies" Orson welles "We`re born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the moment that we`re not alone" Albert camus "We continue to shape our personality all our life. If we knew ourselves perfectly, we should die." John c. maxwell "The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That`s the day we truly grow up." Rodney dangerfield "I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people." Isaiah 60:1 "Arise, shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the LORD is risen upon thee." Joe barton "The American flag is an enduring symbol of liberty, democracy, and justice. It is fitting that the House act to protect it as we approach our nation`s birthday, and as our men and women in uniform rally behind it in Iraq`s battlefields." Elbert Hubbard "A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same" George Jessel "Marriage is a mistake every man should make" Pete Seeger "If you love this land of the free,bring `em home,bring `em home,Bring `em back from overseas" Confucius "Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated." Groucho Marx "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening,but this wasn`t it" W. h. auden "I`ll love you, dear, I`ll love you till China and Africa meet and the river jumps over the mountain and the salmon sing in the street" Mark twain "To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence." A. Cygni "It is odd, is it not, that a person`s worth to society is measured by their wealth, when instead their wealth should be measured by their worth to society" Robert louis stevenson "Absences are a good influence in love and keep it bright and delicate" Eleanor roosevelt "If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor." Henry david thoreau "Ignorance and bungling with love are better than wisdom and skill without" Saturday night fever 1977 "You make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them." Planet of the apes 1968 "You finally really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!" General William Westmoreland "Vietnam was the first war ever fought without censorship. Without censorship,things can get terribly confused in the public mind" Grandma moses "I look back on my life like a good day`s work, it was done and I am satisfied with it." William arthur ward "Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you" Dane cook "If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny." George eliot "Life began with waking up and loving my mother`s face." Zsa zsa gabor "He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house." Christopher marlowe "O, thou art fairer than the evening air clad in the beauty of a thousand stars" Anais nin "People living deeply have no fear of death." Zig ziglar "The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty" Eleanor roosevelt "Autobiographies are only useful as the lives you read about and analyze may suggest to you something that you may find useful in your own journey through life." Thomas jefferson "Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits." Don rickles "Funny is funny." Napoleon bonaparte "I love power. But it is as an artist that I love it. I love it as a musician loves his violin, to draw out its sounds and chords and harmonies" Anthony anderson "It`s sort of an action flick. You can`t be that funny trying to steal diamonds." Dave chappelle "Something about New York, man: You can do more comedy there probably than you can anywhere in the world. If you`re interested in being funny, New York is the place to go." Carl Sandburg "I`m an idealist. I don`t know where I`m going, but I`m on my way" Jonathan davis "I like reading Ball Tongue lyrics and all that stuff. And they published a book, and I wouldn`t give my lyrics, and it`s all wrong in the book, and I giggle. It`s funny." Maya lin "It`s funny, as you live through something you`re not aware of it." Denis waitley "There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them." Niccolo machiavelli "The distinction between children and adults, while probably useful for some purposes, is at bottom a specious one, I feel. There are only individual egos, crazy for love" Jim valvano "I just got one last thing, I urge all of you, all of you, to enjoy your life, the precious moments you have. To spend each day with some laughter and some thought, to get you`re emotions going." Ralph Waldo Emerson "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better" The major and the minor 1942 "Why don`t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?" Steve martin "You know what your problem is, it`s that you haven`t seen enough movies - all of life`s riddles are answered in the movies." Albert brooks "I`ve been to many funerals of funny people, and they`re some of the funniest days you`ll ever have, because the emotions run high." Anais nin "Throw your dreams into space like a kite, and you do not know what it will bring back, a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country." Yogi Berra "Even Napoleon had his Watergate" Charles Evans Hughes "War should be made a crime,and those who instigate it should be punished as criminals" The searchers 1956 "Let`s go home, Debbie." Charlie chaplin "Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone." William james "To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly." Judith viorst "One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again" Frank Chodorov "All wars come to an end,at least temporarily. But the authority acquired by the state hangs on; political power never abdicates" Joshua 1:8 "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." Corky st. clair christopher guest in waiting for guffman 1996 "I just hate you and I hate your ass face." Henry david thoreau "Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind." Napoleon Hill "War grows out of the desire of the individual to gain advantage at the expense of his fellow man" Brigadoon 1954 "You shouldna be too surprised. I told ya, if you love someone deeply enough, anything is possible. Even - miracles?" Brandy norwood "All my favorite stars, my family and my friends are here. I`m having the happiest birthday that an 18-year-old girl could ever have." Marcus aurelius "Do every act of your life as if it were your last." Now, voyager 1942 "Oh, Jerry, don`t let`s ask for the moon. We have the stars." King kong 1933 "It`s money and adventure and fame. It`s the thrill of a lifetime and a long sea voyage that starts at six o`clock tomorrow morning." Tupac shakur "Thug Life to me is dead." Albert brooks "Twitter, to me, works if you`re funny. Twitter doesn`t work as a promotional tool unless you do it very, very, very occasionally." Henry ward beecher "A library is not a luxury but one of the necessities of life." Benjamin Franklin "There never was a good war or a bad peace" Soren kierkegaard "The highest and most beautiful things in life are not to be heard about, nor read about, nor seen but, if one will, are to be lived." Caroline kennedy "In a funny way, poems are suited to modern life. They`re short, they`re intense. Nobody has time to read a 700-page book. People read magazines, and a poem takes less time than an article." Tom petty "It`s funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know why people steal the music? Because they can`t afford the music." Oliver goldsmith "I love everything that`s old, - old friends, old times, old manners, old books, old wine" Gore Vidal "A narcissist is someone better looking than you are" Elayne boosler "I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three." Thomas Jefferson "War is an instrument entirely inefficient toward redressing wrong; and multiplies,instead of indemnifying losses" Jay leno "The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver." Oscar wilde "There is something terribly morbid in the modern sympathy with pain. One should sympathise with the colour, the beauty, the joy of life. The less said about life`s sores the better." Paul valery "Love is being stupid together" Samuel B. Pettengill "War--after all,what is it that the people get? Why--widows,taxes,wooden legs and debt" Muhammad Ali "Friendship,is not something you learn in school. But if you haven`t learned the meaning of friendship,you really haven`t learned anything" Garrison Keillor "God writes a lot of comedy,the trouble is,he`s stuck with so many bad actors who don`t know how to play funny" The godfather 1972 "I`m gonna make him an offer he can`t refuse." Andrew stanton "Even as a kid I was never the generator of humor, but I always knew who was funny, who to hang out with." Max muller "A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love" Robert frost "Two such as you with such a master speed, cannot be parted nor be swept away, from one another once you are agreed, that life is only life forevermore, together wing to wing and oar to oar." Mitch hedberg "I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle." Annie dillard "It is ironic that the one thing that all religions recognize as separating us from our creator, our very self-consciousness, is also the one thing that divides us from our fellow creatures. It was a bitter birthday present from evolution." Joey adams "Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you." The fly 1958 "Help me! Help meeee!" Mickey rooney "I`m the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern." E. e. cummings "Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense" Carrie 1976 "They`re all gonna laugh at you." Oscar wilde "Men always want to be a woman`s first love - women like to be a man`s last romance" Willa cather "Where there is great love, there are always wishes" Buddha "Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind" William Ramsey Clark "The greatest crime since World War II has been US foreign policy" Bennett Cerf "The Atomic Age is here to stay--but are we" Lt. Pete "Maverick" Mitchell and Lt. Nick "Goose" Bradshaw "I feel the needthe need for speed!" Katharine hepburn "Life is hard. After all, it kills you." Khalil gibran "Love possesses not nor will it be possessed, for love is sufficient unto love" Barry Goldwater "You`ve got to forget about this civilian. Whenever you drop bombs,you`re going to hit civilians" John donne "More than kisses, letters mingle souls" Ednita nazario "I come from that society and there is a common thread, specifically family values - the idea that you do anything for your family, and the unconditional love for one`s children" Erma bombeck "A friend doesn`t go on a diet because you are fat." Jim carrey "I got a lot of support from my parents. That`s the one thing I always appreciated. They didn`t tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny." Pierre teilhard de chardin "Love alone is capable of uniting living beings in such a way as to complete and fulfill them, for it alone takes them and joins them by what is deepest in themselves" Marcus Tullius Cicero "What is morally wrong can never be advantageous,even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage" Robert louis stevenson "To be wholly devoted to some intellectual exercise is to have succeeded in life." Ludwig von Mises "Men are fighting,because they are convinced that the extermination of adversaries is the only means of promoting their own well-being" Euripides "He is not a lover who does not love forever" Steve martin "I`ve always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they`re just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers." John Milton "For what can war,but endless war,still breed" Josh billings "There`s a great power in words, if you don`t hitch too many of them together." William Faulkner "So long as the deceit ran along quiet and monotonous,all of us let ourselves be deceived,abetting it unawares or maybe through cowardice.." The big heat 1953 "I`ve been thinking about you and me, how much alike we are. The mink-coated girls...We`re sisters under the mink." Alice Duer Miller "Don`t ever dare to take your college as a matter of course,because,like democracy and freedom,many people you`ll never know have broken their hearts to get it for you" Ludwig von Mises "War prosperity is like the prosperity that an earthquake or a plague brings" Abraham lincoln "In the end, it`s not the years in your life that count. It`s the life in your years." Chris rock "I don`t get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there`s no rehab for stupidity." Eminem "If there`s not drama and negativity in my life, all my songs will be really wack and boring or something." The asphalt jungle 1950 "...Crime is only a left-handed form of human endeavor." Eminem "Trust is hard to come by. That`s why my circle is small and tight. I`m kind of funny about making new friends." Sloane crosley "Since graduation, I have measured time in 4-by-5-inch pieces of paper, four days on the left and three on the right. Every social engagement, interview, reading, flight, doctor`s appointment, birthday and dry-cleaning reminder has been handwritten between metal loops." Marian mcpartland "I`m trying to get the record that I made at my birthday party last year, trying to get that out, and the lawyers are diddling around with it and it probably won`t be out until next year. I don`t know." Bible, matthew 5:8 "Blessed are the pure in heart; for they shall see God" Key largo 1948 "One Rocco, more or less, isn`t worth dying for." Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord." What ever happened to baby jane? 1962 "You mean, all this time we could`ve been friends?" Sophocles "It is the merit of a general to impart good news,and to conceal the truth" Prince Montecuccoli "To wage war,you need first of all money; second,you need money,and third,you also need money" Harvey 1950 "Well, thank you, Harvey! I prefer you, too." Peter marshall "When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure." Zig ziglar "You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want." Eldridge Cleaver "All the gods are dead except the god of war" Oscar Wilde "A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it" John F. Kennedy "War will exist until that distant day when the conscientious objector enjoys the same reputation and prestige that the warrior does today" Johann wolfgang von goethe "This is the highest wisdom that I own; freedom and life are earned by those alone who conquer them each day anew." Victor hugo "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." Mahatma gandhi "Is it not enough to know the evil to shun it? If not, we should be sincere enough to admit that we love evil too well to give it up" Richard bach "The meaning I picked, the one that changed my life: Overcome fear, behold wonder." H. l. mencken "Love is an emotion that is based on an opinion of women that is impossible for those who have had any experience with them" Galatians 2:20 "I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Oscar wilde "Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship" Lisa loeb "With my daughter, we do arts and crafts, we read a lot, we listen to music, and we cut the strings off balloons and bounce them around after birthday parties." O. j. simpson "Nicole will come up in conversations where it`s in a part of the conversation. Or we may be somewhere and I would tell some story about their mother and I. You know, we always honor her birthday." Jackie robinson "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." Samuel Goldwyn "Let`s have some new clichés" Matthew 7:1 "Judge not, that ye be not judged." Fulton J. Sheen "Baloney is flattery so thick that it can not be true and blarney is flattery so thin that we like it" Play clip excerpt: "Every now and then, say `What the f--k!` `What the f--k` gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future." Robert a. heinlein "One of the sanest, surest, and most generous joys of life comes from being happy over the good fortune of others." The hustler 1961 "You owe me money!" Larry david "You have to discover when you`re inadequate to be funny and you don`t know you`re inadequate when you`re a kid." E. w. howe "The greatest humiliation in life, is to work hard on something from which you expect great appreciation, and then fail to get it." Benjamin Franklin "Those who give up essential liberties for temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Gordie Howe "All hockey players are bilingual. They know English and profanity" Anais nin "I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy" Judd nelson "I just couldn`t go back to Suddenly Susan after David Strickland`s suicide. I didn`t see how we could make the show light and funny any more." Kirsten dunst "You can never control who you fall in love with, even when you`re in the most sad, confused time of your life. You don`t fall in love with people because they`re fun. It just happens" Alan King "Marriage is nature`s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers" Jim carrey "Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them." Paul tillich "The first duty of love is to listen" Thomas Jefferson "The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions,that I wish it to be always kept alive" Robert burton "To enlarge or illustrate this power and effect of love is to set a candle in the sun" Psalms 62:1 "Truly my soul waiteth upon God: from him cometh my salvation.He only is my rock and my salvation; he is my defence; I shall not be greatly moved." Thomas jefferson "The God who gave us life, gave us liberty at the same time." Matt 28:19 "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit." Mata hari 1931 "I am Mata Hari, my own master." Pink cadillac 1989 "I have strong feelings about gun control. If there`s a gun around, I want to be controlling it." Kiss me deadly 1955 "Get me to that bus stop and forget you ever saw me. If we don`t make that bus stop...`Remember me.`" Thomas a kempis "Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible" Unknown "If it weren`t for caffeine I`d have no personality whatsoever" The hound of the baskervilles 1939 "Oh, Watson, the needle." Roger Ebert "Every great film should seem new every time you see it." Tammy wynette "Sometimes it`s hard to be a woman giving all your love to just one man" Erich fromm "Love is often nothing but a favorable exchange between two people who get the most of what they can expect, considering their value on the personality market" Raymond chandler "Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl`s clothes off" Winston churchill "You have enemies? Good. That means you`ve stood up for something, sometime in your life." Ronald Reagan "Government`s first duty is to protect the people,not run their lives" Bill maher "Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease." Idina menzel "I would love to play `Funny Girl` or `Evita,` but I idolize the women who have played those parts. I don`t know if there needs to be another version of those shows." Fargo 1996 "Two more months." John oates "If you look over the years, the styles have changed - the clothes, the hair, the production, the approach to the songs. The icing to the cake has changed flavors. But if you really look at the cake itself, it`s really the same." Lucille ball "I am a real ham. I love an audience. I work better with an audience. I am dead, in fact, without one" Dr. Teresa Whitehurst ""Rules of engagement" are a set of guidelines for murder" Albert Camus "We used to wonder where war lived,what it was that made it so vile. And now we realize that we know where it lives,inside ourselves" Howard Thurman "During times of war,hatred becomes quite respectable even though it has to masquerade often under the guise of patriotism" Friedrich nietzsche "It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages" A. j. mclean "Music is love, love is music, music is life, and I love my life. Thank you and good night" Frank sinatra "Alcohol may be man`s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy" John Tudor "A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way" Annie hall 1977 "(Oh, well, ha-ha La-dee-da, la-dee-da. (La, la, yeah." Woody Allen "How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" Oprah winfrey "If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with the spirit." Jackie mason "I don`t believe that anybody has come to a conclusion on why something is funny. It`s funny because it`s ridiculous and it`s ridiculous for different reasons at different times." Linda Festa "The most important thing in a relationship between a man and a woman is that one of them must be good at taking orders" Lily Lily Tomlin "Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain" Paulo coelho "Life was always a matter of waiting for the right moment to act." David sedaris "What other people call dark and despairing, I call funny." Lucius annaeus seneca "If you wished to be loved, love" Antoine de saint-exupery "Life has meaning only if one barters it day by day for something other than itself." Chevy chase "Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish." Grimes "It`s obviously funny to be a meme, so I could be down with it in that regard, but it also belittles one`s art." Rev. William Sloane Coffin "Patriotism at the expense of another nation is as wicked as racism at the expense of another race,Let us resolve to be patriots always,nationalists never" Harry emerson fosdick "Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it" Inherit the wind 1960 "The gospel! The Gospel according to Brady! God speaks to Brady, and Brady tells the world! Brady! Brady! Brady, Almighty!" Sydney j. harris "When I hear somebody sigh, `Life is hard,` I am always tempted to ask, `Compared to what?`" Woody Allen "Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends." Michael Jordan "As athletes,we`re used to reacting quickly. Here,it`s `come,stop,come,stop.` There`s a lot of downtime. That`s the toughest part of the day" Linda Fiorentino "Marriage is a financial contract; I have enough contracts already" Gloria stuart "When I was little I thought, isn`t it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it`s July 4th." Unknown "Cynics are made, not born" Friedrich nietzsche "Of all that is written, I love only what a person has written with his own blood" Bette Davis "I`d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars,would sign over half to me,and guarantee that he`d be dead within a year" Leonardo da vinci "A well-spent day brings happy sleep." Buddha "Chaos is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence" Friedrich nietzsche "A pair of powerful spectacles has sometimes sufficed to cure a person in love" Ludwig von Mises "War,is harmful,not only to the conquered but to the conqueror" Drew carey "TV is easier: it`s all planned out for you and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up but when you are in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over." Friedrich nietzsche "Let us beware of saying that death is the opposite of life. The living being is only a species of the dead, and a very rare species." Leslie fiedler "Hemingway seems to be in a funny position. People nowadays can`t identify with him closely as a member of their own generation, and he isn`t yet historical." George herbert "Life is half spent before we know what it is." Robert Lee Frost "Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer" 1 corinthians 13:13 "And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity." Daryl hall "If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don`t have their assistants and entourage, it`s funny to see what happens." Edmund Burke "All government, indeed, every human benefit and enjoyment, every virtue and every prudent act, is founded on compromise and barter" The big heat 1953 "Say, I like this: Early Nothing." Misery 1990 "I`m your number one fan. There`s nothing to worry about. You`re gonna be just fine. I`ll take good care of you." Goldfinger 1964 "Oh no, you don`t! This is no time to be rescued." Heb 4:12 "For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart." Dag Hammarskjold "Friendship needs no words,it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness" Mother Teresa "Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless" Kevin smith "I saw Richard Linklater`s film `Slacker` for my twenty-first birthday. That was the moment when it all seemed possible. This guy gave me hope." Ralph waldo emerson "Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science" Robert F. Kennedy "This much is clear: violence breeds violence,repression brings retaliation,and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul" Richard Bach "Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you`re alive,it isn`t" Genesis 8:22 "While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease." Mark Twain "It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either" Thomas a. edison "I never did a day`s work in my life. It was all fun." Bertrand Russell "I think we ought always to entertain our opinions with some measure of doubt. I shouldn`t wish people dogmatically to believe any philosophy, not even mine." Johann wolfgang von goethe "All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green." Alfred E. Wiggam "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time" John Fitzgerald Kennedy "Always forgive your enemies, but never forget their names" R. Buckminster Fuller "Either war is obsolete,or men are" Barbara smith "Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living. It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built. Where trust is, love can flourish" Alfred hitchcock "Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs." Leo Tolstoy "The greater the state,the more wrong and cruel its patriotism,and the greater is the sum of suffering upon which its power is founded" Marquis de Sade "What is more immoral than war" I remember mama 1948 "But first and foremost, I remember Mama." Spike milligan "How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven." Aristotle "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies" Richard lewis "I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back." William e. gladstone "We look forward to the time when the Power of Love will replace the Love of Power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace" Indecent proposal 1993 "The dress is for sale. I`m not." Mahatma gandhi "My life is my message." Will smith "I love being black in America, and especially being black in Hollywood" Jim Lovell "Houston, we have a problem.[15]" Lorraine hansberry "There is always something left to love. And if you ain`t learned that, you ain`t learned nothing" Ray bradbury "Love is easy, and I love writing. You can`t resist love. You get an idea, someone says something, and you`re in love" Psycho 1960 "Mother, my mother, uh, what is the phrase?- She isn`t qu-quite herself today." The women 1939 "There`s a name for you ladies, but it isn`t used in high society - outside of a kennel." Jimi hendrix "It`s funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life" John 14:2 "In my Father`s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you" Virginia woolf nicole kidman in the hours 2003 "Someone has to die in order that the rest of us should value life more." 1 pet 3:15 "But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect," Samuel butler "Life is the art of drawing sufficient conclusions from insufficient premises." Robert orben "Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected." Matthew 11:30 "For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Ambrose Bierce "Egoist: A person of low taste, more interested in themselves than in me" Janeane garofalo "I actually was class clown, but I don`t know how that happened because I`ve never been considered an outwardly funny person." X-men: the last stand 2006 "Yeah, it`s the Juggernaut, bitch!" Mike judge "Stealing, you`ll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it." Ralph waldo emerson "He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life." Marcus aurelius "Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart" Alfred Hitchcock "Disney has the best casting. If he doesn`t like an actor he just tears him up" Notorious 1946 "I am married to an American agent." Maya angelou "There is a very fine line between loving life and being greedy for it." Tim heidecker "Most of my ideas just come out funny." A clockwork orange 1971 "I was cured, all right." Edward g. bulwer-lytton "If you wish to be loved, show more of your faults than your virtues" Will rogers "I`m not a real movie star. I`ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago." John keats "Love is my religion - I could die for it" Napoleon Bonaparte "In the eyes of empire builders men are not men but instruments" Prov 3:5 "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding." The devil wears prada 2006 "I`m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight." Groucho Marx "Humor is reason gone mad" Barbara de angelis "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back" Laurence j. peter "If two wrongs don`t make a right, try three." Some like it hot 1959 "Look at that! Look how she moves. That`s just like Jell-O on springs. She must have some sort of built-in motors. I tell you, it`s a whole different sex!" Bob hope "I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money." Anna torv "I`m terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they`re not funny. I end up saying, `Oh, no, I`m joking, I`m joking.`" Mae west "Love isn`t an emotion or an instinct - it`s an art" Craig schwartz john cusack in being john malkovich 1999 "Nobody`s looking for a puppeteer in today`s wintry economic climate." G. K. Chesterton "A man who says that no patriot should attack the war until it is over,is saying no good son should warn his mother of a cliff until she has fallen" Sai baba "Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it." Sam Spade "The stuff that dreams are made of.[5]" Play clip excerpt: "Round up the usual suspects." Katherine Cebrian "I don`t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking" Charles darwin "A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life." Frank Chodorov "The pertinent question: if Americans did not want these wars should they have been compelled to fight them" Friedrich nietzsche "The man of knowledge must be able not only to love his enemies but also to hate his friends" Susan sarandon "When I tell people I`m a comedian they say, `Oh, are you funny?` I say, `No, it`s not that kind of comedy.`" T. S. Eliot "I don`t believe one grows older. I think that what happens early on in life is that at a certain age one stands still and stagnates" Jimi hendrix "The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye." Adlai e. stevenson "It`s hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse." Beyond the forest 1949 "What a dump!" Erich fromm "Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies." Mitt romney "I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that`s the America millions of Americans believe in. That`s the America I love" Army of darkness 1992 "First you want to kill me. Now you want to kiss me. Blow!" Percy Bysshe Shelley "Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder" Saint augustine "Since love grows within you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul" Gone with the wind 1939 "Lawdy! We got to have a doctor! I don`t know nothin` `bout birthin` babies." Geoffrey chaucer "Love is blind" J. A. Froude "Men are made by nature unequal. It is vain, therefore, to treat them as if they were equal" Ludwig von Mises "To defeat the aggressors is not enough to make peace durable. The main thing is to discard the ideology that generates war" Proverbs 12:19 "Truthful lips endure forever, the lying tongue, for only a moment" Brother orchid 1940 "All my life, I`ve been looking for class...but this, is real class!" Harold ramis "I`m not a believer in the pratfall. I don`t think it`s funny just to have someone fall down." It happened one night 1934 "Well, I proved once and for all that the limb is mightier than the thumb." Fran lebowitz "Food is an important part of a balanced diet." George Bernard Shaw "A reasonable man adapts himself to suit his environment.An unreasonable man persists in attempting to adapt his environment to suit himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man" Robert louis stevenson "Our business in life is not to succeed, but to continue to fail in good spirits." Ronald reagan "We have the duty to protect the life of an unborn child." Admiral James D. Watkins "We must recognize the chief characteristic of the modern era--a permanent state of what I call violent peace" Henry drummond "To love abundantly is to live abundantly, and to love forever is to live forever" Bob hope "You know you`re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." Philip seymour hoffman "Life`s pretty funny when you`re objectively on the outside looking at it." Unknown "A reactionary is a man whose political opinions always manage to keep up with yesterday" George bernard shaw "Life isn`t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." The incredible shrinking man 1957 "That`s silly, honey. People just don`t get smaller." Warren buffett "I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me." Francois de la rochefoucauld "However rare true love may be, it is less so than true friendship" Gal 5:23 "gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law." W. c. fields "Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink." Arthur Schopenhauer "Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right" Muhammad ali "I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world" Denise mina "I love Mikhail Bulgakov. He is very original and takes the story to unexpected places. I didn`t realise political writing could be so funny." Philippians 4:19 "But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Thomas a. edison "Many of life`s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." Euripides "God hates violence. He has ordained that all men fairly possess their property,not seize it" Tobias wolff "Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow." Michael morpurgo "Animals are sentient, intelligent, perceptive, funny and entertaining. We owe them a duty of care as we do to children." Leo buscaglia "Love is always bestowed as a gift - freely, willingly and without expectation. We don`t love to be loved; we love to love" William ellery channing "Life has a higher end, than to be amused." Jaws 1975 ",000 dollars for me by myself. For that, you get the head, the tail - the whole damn thing." Paul lynde "I wish I had the nerve not to tip." Play clip excerpt: "I`m the Dude! So that`s what you call me. You know, uh, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or uh, you know, El Duderino - if you`re not into the whole brevity thing." Herbert C. Hoover "It is the youth who must inherit the tribulation,the sorrow,that are the aftermath of war" Psalm 9:16 "The Lord is known by his justice; the wicked are ensnared by the work of their hands" Oscar wilde "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead" Martin luther king, jr. "There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love" Albert Einstein "The world is a dangerous place,not because of those who do evil,but because of those who look on and do nothing" Eminem "I love the attention but I don`t like too much of it" Aldo leopold "We abuse land because we regard it as a commodity belonging to us. When we see land as a community to which we belong, we may begin to use it with love and respect" Richard O`Brien "I`ve been cushioned against having to work, with Rocky`s continual bounty" Mommie dearest 1981 "Don`t f--k with me, fellas. This ain`t my first time at the rodeo." George bernard shaw "Only on paper has humanity yet achieved glory, beauty, truth, knowledge, virtue, and abiding love" Buddha "Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship" John F. Kennedy "We are not afraid to entrust the American people with unpleasant facts,foreign ideas,alien philosophies,and competitive values" Billy Connolly "Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again,so is a bicycle repair kit" Zach galifianakis "I think if they put a laugh track on `Intervention,` it would be funny." Groucho Marx "I`m leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it`s not raining" Joseph Conrad "Every age is fed on illusions, lest men should renounce life early and the human race come to an end" Morihei ueshiba "Loyalty and devotion lead to bravery. Bravery leads to the spirit of self-sacrifice. The spirit of self-sacrifice creates trust in the power of love" Britney spears "I find it so funny that people find me so interesting." Psalms 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my strength, and my redeemer." Samantha molly ringwald in sixteen candles 1984 "I can`t believe I gave my panties to a geek." Ambrose Bierce "Academe,n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy,n.: A modern school where football is taught" Oscar wilde "A man can be happy with any woman, as long as he does not love her" Celia johnson "Don`t remember me as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you`ll be disappointed." Mark Twain "Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person" Turkish Proverb "No road is long with good company" Gene tierney "I had been offered a Hollywood contract before my 18th birthday. It gave me the spark I needed." Albert Einstein "Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools" Neil gaiman "Great, big, serious novels always get awards. If it`s a battle between a great, big, serious novel and a funny novel, the funny novel is doomed." Rabindranath tagore "The highest education is that which does not merely give us information but makes our life in harmony with all existence." Joseph campbell "A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself." Nikita Krushchev "Life is short. Live it up" The great race 1965 "Relax. This time I`m going to win it my way. Push the button, Max! (explosion MAAAAAAXXX!" David sedaris "It`s odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You`ll have a nice time, then two years later you`ll be like, `There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?`" Swedish Proverb "Love me when I least deserve it,because that`s when I really need it" Annie Hall "La-dee-da, la-dee-da." Johann wolfgang von goethe "A useless life is an early death." Joyce brothers "The best proof of love is trust" Red river 1948 "You know, there are only two things more beautiful than a good gun: a Swiss watch or a woman from anywhere." Bob feller "Every day is a new opportunity. You can build on yesterday`s success or put its failures behind and start over again. That`s the way life is, with a new game every day, and that`s the way baseball is." William Graham Sumner "If you want war,nourish a doctrine. Doctrines are the most frightful tyrants to which men ever are subject.." Oscar Wilde "How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being" George Washington "Be courteous to all,but intimate with few,and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence" Rocky 1976 "Yo, Adrian!" Maximilien Robespierre "One can,never create [freedom] by an invading force" Bill gates "Life is not fair; get used to it." Mahatma gandhi "Religion is more than life. Remember that his own religion is the truest to every man even if it stands low in the scales of philosophical comparison." Albert Einstein "Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth" Liam neeson "I don`t think I`m funny." Mark Twain "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured" Mitch hedberg "I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn`t have one. So I got a cake." Goran ivanisevic "At her birthday, my seven-year-old daughter will say that she wants these big cakes and certain expensive toys as presents, and I can`t say no to her. It would just break my heart. But when I was little, for birthdays we just played outside and we were happy if we got any cake." Jean Jacques Rousseau "Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains" Georges Sorel "Hate is able to provoke disorders,to ruin a social organization,to cast a country into a period of bloody revolutions; but it produces nothing" Nancy Astor "I married beneath me,all women do" Erasmus "War is the blackest villainy of which human nature is capable" David Herbert Lawrence "Life is ours to be spent, not saved" Henry david thoreau "Those whom we can love, we can hate; to others we are indifferent" Samuel Butler "All animals except man know that the ultimate of life is to enjoy it" Joe e. lewis "I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink." Bible, genesis 1:29-30 "Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds of the air and all the creatures that move on the ground--everything that has the breath of life in it--I give every green plant for food."" Bertrand Russell "The main things which seem to me important on their own account, and not merely as means to other things, are knowledge, art, instinctive happiness, and relations of friendship or affection." Bobby mcferrin "Well, I started conducting kind of by accident. I wanted to give myself a special birthday present for my fortieth birthday, and I was living in San Francisco at the time and I started attending some of the concerts and then simply dropping hints." Moonstruck 1987 "(Two slaps across the faceSnap out of it!" Rita rudner "To attract men, I wear a perfume called `New Car Interior.`" Walt disney "Disneyland is a work of love. We didn`t go into Disneyland just with the idea of making money" Clive owen "I`d like to do a film which is funny." Victoria beckham "I`m not materialistic. I believe in presents from the heart, like a drawing that a child does." Mash 1970 "Oh, Frank, my lips are hot. Kiss my hot lips." Buggin out giancarlo esposito in do the right thing 1989 "Who told you to step on my sneakers, who told you to walk on my side of the block, who told you to be in my neighborhood?" Proverbs 6:6 "Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:" Ray bradbury "I know you`ve heard it a thousand times before. But it`s true - hard work pays off. If you want to be good, you have to practice, practice, practice. If you don`t love something, then don`t do it" Milton berle "Experience is what you have after you`ve forgotten her name." Red Auerbach "Basketball is like war in that offensive weapons are developed first,and it always takes a while for the defense to catch up" E. m. forster "One must be fond of people and trust them if one is not to make a mess of life." Dalai lama "The important thing is that men should have a purpose in life. It should be something useful, something good." Rainer maria rilke "For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation" Walt whitman "I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don`t believe I deserved my friends." Hillary clinton "I`m undaunted in my quest to amuse myself by constantly changing my hair." Oprah winfrey "It`s much easier for me to make major life, multi-million dollar decisions, than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That`s the truth." Julia sweeney "Because death and illness are the most horrible things in life, of course that`s where the most absurdly funny things are going to happen." William shakespeare "They do not love that do not show their love" James 1:12 "Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him." Bible, proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control" Alfred Adler "War is not the continuation of politics with different means,it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man" Chinatown 1974 "Forget it, Jake, it`s Chinatown." Sai baba "You must pass your days in song. Let your whole life be a song." Mommie dearest 1981 "Tina, bring me the axe." Withnail e i 1987 "We want the finest wines available to humanity, we want them here and we want them now." Ernest holmes "Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what he thinks into it." Martin luther king, jr. "I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant" W. h. auden "Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh" Bertrand Russell "The most savage controversies are those about matters as to which there is no good evidence either way." Voltaire "Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us." Pentagon Official unnamed "If we let people see that kind of thing,there would never again be any war" Dalai lama "Even when a person has all of life`s comforts - good food, good shelter, a companion - he or she can still become unhappy when encountering a tragic situation." Ramman Kenoun "Power is usurped from the people,first by implementing fear,then it is maintained by slandering as `unpatriotic` those who refuse submission" Harry Callahan "Go ahead, make my day" Henry david thoreau "The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it." Jimi hendrix "The story of life is quicker then the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello, goodbye" Josh lucas "It`s funny, but we were living on this small island off the coast of Charleston, South Carolina when I was 9." Thomas s. monson "Choose your love, Love your choice" Joe rogan "The audience changes every night. You`re the same person. You have to speak your mind and do the stuff that you think is funny and makes you laugh." The godfather 1972 "And the promise is that the deal is so good that we can`t refuse." Mencius "Friendship is one mind in two bodies" Die hard 1988 "Yippie kay-yay, motherf--ker." Henry david thoreau "To affect the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts." Saint augustine "Love is the beauty of the soul" Milton berle "You can lead a man to Congress, but you can`t make him think." Tim heidecker "There is nothing funny about a well-adjusted, intelligent person making the right choices." Tea and sympathy 1956 "Years from now, when you talk about this, and you will, be kind." Arnold schwarzenegger "It`s simple, if it jiggles, it`s fat." Mahatma gandhi "Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position." Alfred Hitchcock "Blondes make the best victims. They`re like virgin snow that shows up the bloody footprints" The pride of the yankees 1942 "People all say that I`ve had a bad break. But today, today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth." The thing from another world 1951 "Every one of you listening to my voice, tell the world. Tell this to everybody, wherever they are. Watch the skies, everywhere, keep looking. Keep watching the skies." St. Augustine "When [men] go to war,what they want is to impose on their enemies the victor`s will and call it peace" J. R. Hobson "Governments use national animosities,foreign wars and the glamour of empire-making,in order to,divert rising sentiment against domestic abuses" Lois McMaster Bujold "War is not its own end,except in some catastrophic slide into absolute damnation" Amanda seyfried "I`m most comfortable in my birthday suit." Albert Einstein "God always takes the simplest way" She done him wrong 1933 "It was a toss-up whether I go in for diamonds or sing in the choir. The choir lost." Jesse jackson "Your children need your presence more than your presents." Mark twain "Part of the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside." Napoleon bonaparte "Courage is like love; it must have hope for nourishment" Kellan lutz "By no means do I want to be a piece of meat for the rest of my career. It`s funny when you get asked to do a talk show, and then they follow it up with requesting you take your shirt off." Taxi driver 1976 "Someday a real rain`ll come and wash all the scum off the streets." Mahatma gandhi "Freedom is never dear at any price. It is the breath of life. What would a man not pay for living?" Robert benchley "I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well." Jimi hendrix "You don`t have to be singing about love all the time in order to give love to the people. You don`t have to keep flashing those words all the time" Jean-paul sartre "We do not judge the people we love" Goodbye, mr. chips 1939 "Modern methods! Intensive training! Poppycock! Give a boy a sense of humor and a sense of proportion and he`ll stand up to anything!" A night at the opera 1935 "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, you can`t fool me! There ain`t no Sanity Claus!" Maggie gallagher "Mothers are the people who love us for no good reason. And those of us who are mothers know it`s the most exquisite love of all" Friedrich Nietzsche "When marrying,ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory" Rose marie 1936 "Your dream prince, reporting for duty!" Love with the proper stranger 1963 "Better wed than dead." Don marquis "A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists." Psalms 84:10 "For a day in thy courts is better than a thousand.I had rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of wickedness." Oscar wilde "One`s real life is so often the life that one does not lead." Johnny depp "There are four questions of value in life... What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same. Only love." Bertrand Russell "Everything is vague to a degree you do not realize till you have tried to make it precise." Flip wilson "My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish." John dewey "Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." Friedrich nietzsche "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. Is not life a hundred times too short for us to bore ourselves?" Lao tzu "A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar" Rom 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Buddha "Even death is not to be feared by one who has lived wisely" Princess diana "Only do what your heart tells you" A. j. mclean "Music is love, love is music, music is life, and I love my life. Thank you and good night." Marilyn monroe "If you spend your life competing with business men, what do you have? A bank account and ulcers!" Criss angel "It`s so funny looking back, but my so-called overnight success actually took 15 years. I remember when I didn`t have any money, and my only car was mom`s Hyundai." Joseph campbell "The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature." James H. Boren "A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together" Wayne dyer "You leave old habits behind by starting out with the thought, `I release the need for this in my life`." William christopher handy "Life is like a trumpet - if you don`t put anything into it, you don`t get anything out of it." David sedaris "I love things made out of animals. It`s just so funny to think of someone saying, `I need a letter opener. I guess I`ll have to kill a deer." Annie hall 1977 "Sex with you is really a Kafka-esque experience...I mean that as a compliment." Walt disney "I`d say it`s been my biggest problem all my life... it`s money. It takes a lot of money to make these dreams come true." Ann landers "Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life and repeat to yourself, the most comforting words of all; this, too, shall pass." Francois de la rochefoucauld "Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires" Courteney cox "It`s funny, because I never think of myself as Little Miss All-Together." Brian tracy "Communication is a skill that you can learn. It`s like riding a bicycle or typing. If you`re willing to work at it, you can rapidly improve the quality of evry part of your life." Robin gibb "You know, we`d just had a birthday, he was... you know, he still had a future out of him, and all I can is he was just one of the most beautiful people in the world... a very gifted man, and it`s a loss to the world, not just for us." Leighton meester "In this world, everyone wants to know everything about you, and I think that`s funny." Capt. Louis Renault "Round up the usual suspects." K. K. V. Casey "Wars frequently begin ten years before the first shot is fired" The wizard of oz 1939 "Oh, Auntie Em. There`s no place like home." Oprah winfrey "My philosophy is that not only are you responsible for your life, but doing the best at this moment puts you I the best place for the next moment." Logan p. smith "We need two kinds of acquaintances, one to complain to, while to the others we boast." Bill hicks "It`s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it`s just hilarious." Joan rivers "I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was `the man goes on top and the woman underneath.` For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds." Marilyn monroe "I love a natural look in pictures" Lost horizon 1937 "Gentlemen, I give you a toast. Here`s my hope that Robert Conway will find his Shangri-La. Here`s my hope that we all find our Shangri-La." Richard dawkins "Nothing is wrong with peace and love. It is all the more regrettable that so many of Christ`s followers seem to disagree" H. l. mencken "A man always remembers his first love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them" Public enemy 1931 "I ain`t so tough." Tina weymouth "Sometimes you don`t want to be a slapstick clown in order to convey a funny perception of the world." Liv Tyler "I cried on my 18th birthday. I thought 17 was such a nice age. You`re young enough to get away with things, but you`re old enough, too" Michelle pfeiffer "I do find comedy difficult. I don`t know why. Maybe I think about it too much. There`s a tremendous amount of pressure to be funny." Albert einstein "I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind." Noam Chomsky "It`s very common for the victims to understand a system better than the people who are holding the stick" Henry a. kissinger "There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full." Dwight D. Eisenhower "There is no glory in battle worth the blood it costs" Tupac shakur "It`s the game of life. Do I win or do I lose? One day they`re gonna shut the game down. I gotta have as much fun and go around the board as many times as I can before it`s my turn to leave." Voltaire "The superfluous, a very necessary thing." Maxwell scott carleton young in the man who shot liberty valance 1962 "When the legend becomes fact, print the legend." Steve coogan "But with comedy it`s a simple premise. If it`s funny, people laugh. If it`s not, they don`t." Albert Einstein "I am a deeply religious nonbeliever,this is a somewhat new kind of religion" Gladiator 2000 "Are you not entertained! Are you not entertained! Is this not why you are here!" Jeanette Rankin "You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake" Seth rogen "To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal." Mahatma gandhi "Justice that love gives is a surrender, justice that law gives is a punishment" Dave barry "The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl." Samuel butler "Life is not an exact science, it is an art." Dustin Hoffman "Ratso" Rizzo" Senator Barbara Boxer "Iraq was a war of choice,not necessity" Double indemnity 1944 "It was a hot afternoon, and I can still remember the smell of honeysuckle all along that street. How could I have known that murder can sometimes smell like honeysuckle?" Pablo picasso "Art is not the application of a canon of beauty but what the instinct and the brain can conceive beyond any canon. When we love a woman we don`t start measuring her limbs" Jimi hendrix "It`s funny the way most people love the dead. Once you are dead, you are made for life." Thomas Jefferson "If there is one principle more deeply rooted in the mind of every American,it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest" Maya angelou "My life has been one great big joke, a dance that`s walked a song that`s spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke when I think about myself." William lyon phelps "The fear of life is the favorite disease of the 20th century." Julius caesar "It is better to create than to learn! Creating is the essence of life." Dwight D. Eisenhower "Preventive war was an invention of Hitler. Frankly,I would not even listen to anyone seriously that came and talked about such a thing" Tony robbins "The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you`re in control of your life. If you don`t, life controls you." Mother teresa "I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love" Oliver wendell holmes "Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts" Rowan atkinson "Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing." Miley cyrus "Music is what I breath, what I love to do. It keeps me alive" Marlon wayans "Comedy clubs can be brutal. Those people are for real, and if you aren`t funny, they aren`t laughing. They don`t care who you are." Rick baker "It`s a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain." Milton berle "A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours." Mort sahl "My life needs editing." Doug Horton "If it looks like shit, smells like shit, mail it to your enemy, he`ll know what to do with it" Casablanca 1942 "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." Theodore Roosevelt "Behind the ostensible government sits enthroned an invisible government owing no allegiance and acknowledging no responsibility to the people" Leo buscaglia "Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." Mark Twain "A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval" Berthold auerbach "Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Arthur rimbaud "Only divine love bestows the keys of knowledge" Little shop of horrors 1986 "Feed me! Feed me!" Satchel paige "Work like you don`t need the money. Love like you`ve never been hurt. Dance like nobody`s watching" Steven Curtis Chapman "There`s nothing like a good cheating song to make me want to run home to be with my wife" Joe rogan "It`s painful for me to watch someone who isn`t funny. It`s horrifying to sit in the back and watch some guy who just totally sucks." Evan Thomas "Wars should be over in three days or less,and the American people must be all for it from the outset" Naguib mahfouz "God did not intend religion to be an exercise club." Douglas adams "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." William James "Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing,moving at different speeds;A sense of humor is just common sense,dancing" Peter pan 1953 "There it is, Wendy. Second star to the right and straight on till morning." Vincent van gogh "What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" Robert louis stevenson "Books are good enough in their own way, but they are a poor substitute for life." Addison Walker "It`s not true that nice guys finish last. Nice guys are winners before the game even starts" Leonardo da vinci "Life well spent is long." Ninotchka 1939 "Your general appearance is not distasteful." Woody Allen "Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you" Albert einstein "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life`s coming attractions." Walt disney "I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter." Psalms 5:11 "But let all those that put their trust in thee rejoice: let them ever shout for joy, because thou defendest them: let them also that love thy name be joyful in thee." Dwight d. eisenhower "There`s no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were." Mitch hedberg "I love blackjack. But I`m not addicted to gambling. I`m addicted to sitting in a semi circle" Steven wright "I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing `Happy Birthday.`" Marquis de Sade "Let not your zeal to share your principles entice you beyond your borders" Mark twain "The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." Voltaire "I disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to say it" Robert E. Lee "The war,was an unnecessary condition of affairs,and might have been avoided if forebearance and wisdom had been practiced on both sides" The breakfast club 1985 "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?" The thin man 1934 "Will you bring me five more martinis, Leo? And line them right up here." Charley Reese "We,are not really free if we can`t control our own government and its policies. And we will never do that if we remain ignorant" 2 corinthians 2:14 "Now thanks be unto God, which always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of his knowledge by us in every place." Don rickles "I have no idea what I`m going to say when I stand up to give a toast. But I do know that anything I say I find funny." William shakespeare "Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs" Luke 2:11 "For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." George Orwell "The essential act of war is destruction,not necessarily of human lives,but of the products of human labor" Henny youngman "If at first you don`t succeed... so much for skydiving." Kurt vonnegut "About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm." Thomas Jefferson "They are nations of eternal war. All their energies are expended in the destruction of the labor,property,and lives of their people" Joseph campbell "Your life is the fruit of your own doing. You have no one to blame but yourself." W. c. fields "I like children - fried." Tim allen "Men are liars. We`ll lie about lying if we have to. I`m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive." Anne campbell "Love means to commit yourself without guarantee" Voltaire "I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left" Deliverance 1972 "He got a real pretty mouth, ain`t he?" Oscar wilde "In married life three is company and two none." Francis bacon "It is impossible to love and to be wise" Lord byron "Sorrow is knowledge, those that know the most must mourn the deepest, the tree of knowledge is not the tree of life." Douglas adams "Life is wasted on the living." Henry miller "The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." A streetcar named desire 1951 "Whoever you are, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." The producers 1968 "Hitler was better looking than Churchill, he was a better dresser than Churchill, he had more hair, he told funnier jokes, and he could dance the pants off of Churchill." John Stuart Mill "Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you will cease to be so" Dave barry "It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person`s plate." Salvador de Madariaga "No one has ever succeeded in keeping nations at war except by lies" The naked gun: from the files of police squad! 1988 "He`s on life-support. Doctors say he`s got a 50/50 chance of living, though there`s only a 10 percent chance of that." Thucydides "It is useless to attack men who could not be controlled even if conquered,while failure would leave us in an even worse position.." Frank lloyd wright "Study nature, love nature, stay close to nature. It will never fail you" Philippians 4:4 "Rejoice in the Lord alway: and again I say, Rejoice." Austin Holmes "It is not the bad times on which we should dwell, it is only poison to the mind and soul. We shall rise up after we fall, and continue to go on, dwelling on the good, high-spirited times of our lives" Paulo coelho "You have to take risks. We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen." Ron Paul "Terror is a tactic. We can not wage "war" against a tactic" Marcus aurelius "The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing." Rita rudner "In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk." Francois de la rochefoucauld "There is only one kind of love, but there are a thousand imitations" Mike damone robert romanus in fast times at ridgemont high 1982 "When it comes down to making out, whenever possible, put on side 1 of Led Zeppelin IV." Jennifer aniston "That`s what I hate about a lot of comedies, when you`re hitting a line or making it funny." Sabrina 1954 "Democracy can be a wickedly unfair thing. Nobody poor was ever called democratic for marrying somebody rich." Psalms 13:5 "But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation." Thomas Jefferson "If a law is unjust, a man is not only right to disobey it, he is obligated to do so" Katharine Hepburn "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one,go ahead,get married" Hugh mackay "Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational." Natalie goldberg "Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go" Russell Baker "Usually,terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all,but just terrible things" Groucho Marx "Military justice is to justice what military music is to music" Maya angelou "If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die" Mae West "Marriage is a great institution,but I`m not ready for an institution" 2 cor 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" Lewis carroll "There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents, and only one for birthday presents, you know." Mufasa "Look inside yourself. You are more than what you have become." Lady in the dark 1944 "She would make up her mind." Lea michele "I want to be in `Funny Girl.` And I want Ryan Murphy to direct it." Mitch hedberg "A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap." Unknown "If voting should change anything, there would be a law against it" General Omar N. Bradley "We know more about war than we know about peace,more about killing than we know about living" Tacitus "To plunder,to slaughter,to steal,these things they misname empire; and where they make a desert,they call it peace" Ramman Kenoun "It is frightening how the actions of a single leader can have such drastic effects on the prestige of an entire nation" Ron paul "I am just absolutely convinced that the best formula for giving us peace and preserving the American way of life is freedom, limited government, and minding our own business overseas." Diamonds are forever 1971 "James, how the hell do we get those diamonds down again?" Albert Einstein "A man should look for what is,and not for what he thinks should be." The maltese falcon 1941 "Don`t be silly. You`re taking the fall!" Marceline Desbordes-Valmore "Are we not like two volumes of one book" Mame Dennis "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Forrest gump 1994 "Run, Forrest, run. Run, Forrest!" George H. W. Bush "I can tell you this: If Im ever in a position to call the shots,Im not going to rush to send somebody elses kids into a war" Mark Twain "Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul" Voltaire "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" George Orwell "Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two equals four. If that is granted, all else follows" Zig ziglar "Little men with little minds and little imaginations go through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes which would jar their little worlds." Jack nicholson "There`s only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend." Fiona apple "You know, I`ve always thought that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginning to end." Jane austen "The more I know of the world, the more I am convinced that I shall never see a man whom I can really love" Kahlil Gibran "Love that does not renew itself every day becomes a habit and in turn a slavery" Plautus "Let us celebrate the occasion with wine and sweet words." Han Solo "May the Force be with you." Ronald Reagan "People do not make wars; governments do" This is spinal tap 1984 "Money talks, and bulls--t walks." Stephen stills "One thing the blues ain`t, is funny." Rita rudner "I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." Henry david thoreau "A man cannot be said to succeed in this life who does not satisfy one friend." Esai morales "I love bringing roses to a woman when she least expects it" Seth rogen "I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn`t necessarily funny." Colossians 3:16 "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord." Benjamin Franklin "A highwayman is as much a robber when he plunders in a gang as when single; and a nation that makes an unjust war is only a great gang" William Penn "Right is right,even if everyone is against it,and wrong is wrong,even if everyone is for it" Gary oldman "It`s funny: I`m a lifelong musician, but because I principally play the piano it`s been a solitary thing." All that heaven allows 1955 "All you have to do is turn the dial and you have all the company you want. Right there on the screen. Drama, comedy, life`s parade at your fingertips." 2 peter 3:10 "But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up." George chakiris "No matter how dark the moment, love and hope are always possible" Dwight d. eisenhower "There is nothing wrong with America that faith, love of freedom, intelligence, and energy of her citizens cannot cure" Henry drummond "You will find as you look back upon your life that the moments when you have truly lived are the moments when you have done things in the spirit of love" Woody Allen "I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." Jerry Chin "And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow" Calvin coolidge "I have never been hurt by what I have not said." Rita rudner "Before I met my husband, I`d never fallen in love. I`d stepped in it a few times" Ludwig von Mises "A lasting order cannot be established by bayonets" Daniel Goleman "Societies can be sunk by the weight of buried ugliness" Alexander smith "Love is but the discovery of ourselves in others, and the delight in the recognition" Colin quinn "He is very dry but also very funny... I think people tend to feel odd when I do my act. Unless you are an ironic person, it`s not a good place for you to be." Gregory Clark "Are bombs the only way of setting fire to the spirit of a people? Is the human will as inert as the past two world-wide wars would indicate" Mic 6:8 "He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God." Olivia munn "I got to play with Nintendo`s Wii, yes it`s a funny name and not very revolutionary but it was fun whipping your arms around." Julia roberts "You know it`s love when all you want is that person to be happy, even if you`re not part of their happiness" Seann william scott "The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn`t tell a joke to save my life." Bertrand Russell "Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim." Martin Luther King,Jr. "We must concentrate not merely on the negative expulsion of war but the postive affirmation of peace" Aristotle "Bashfulness is an ornament to youth, but a reproach to old age" Elbert hubbard "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." Charles caleb colton "Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never" Matthew 25:23 "...Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things..." A. J. P. Taylor "No matter what political reasons are given for war,the underlying reason is always economic" Jimmy Carter "We will not learn how to live together in peace by killing each other`s children" Plan 9 from outer space 1959 "We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives." Robert downey, jr. "I read the script for Wonder Boys, and I said that was almost perfect, it was so classy, cool and funny. It`s a really specific thing. We stuck to it, it turned out good and a lot of people liked it." Dr. strangelove, or:... 1964 "Mr. President, I`m not saying we wouldn`t get our hair mussed, but I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops, that is, depending on the breaks." Mae west "It`s hard to be funny when you have to be clean." Theodore roosevelt "There has never yet been a man in our history who led a life of ease whose name is worth remembering." Bertrand Russell "A stupid man`s report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand." Albert Einstein "How vile and despicable war seems to me! I would rather be hacked to pieces than take part in such an abominable business" Mark Twain:Man is the only animal that blushes,or needs to "Mark Twain:I have never let my schooling interfere with my education" Bette Midler "I never know how much of what I say is true" Leo tolstoy "And all people live, Not by reason of any care they have for themselves, But by the love for them that is in other people" Shaun white "I wear black skinny-fit jeans - I can`t get away from them. It`s funny because I wore baggy jeans for ages, then one day my friend convinced me to try on a skinny pair and I thought they were great." Pablo picasso "The purpose of art is washing the dust of daily life off our souls." Thomas merton "Every moment and every event of every man`s life on earth plants something in his soul." Now, voyager 1942 "I`m such a fool, such an old fool. These are only tears of gratitude - an old maid`s gratitude for the crumbs offered...You see, no one ever called me darling before." Jim morrison "This is the strangest life I`ve ever known." Habakkuk 3:19 "The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds` feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places..." William shakespeare "Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better" Fargo 1996 "There`s more to life than a little money, you know. Don`tcha know that? And here ya are, and it`s a beautiful day. Well. I just don`t understand it." Unknown "George Washington not only chopped down his father`s cherry tree, but he also admitted doing it. Now, do you know why his father didn`t punish him? Because George still had the axe in his hand" Norman bates anthony perkins in psycho 1960 "We all go a little mad sometimes." Woody allen "If my films make one more person miserable, I`ll feel I have done my job." Oscar wilde "One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry" Julia child "Life itself is the proper binge." Bob dylan "I like America, just as everybody else does. I love America, I gotta say that. But America will be judged" William Shakespeare "It is not in the stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves" Oscar wilde "The one charm about marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties." Bible, 2 corinthians 11:14 "Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light" Johann wolfgang von goethe "First and last, what is demanded of genius is love of truth" Acts 17:11 "Now the Bereans were of more noble character than the Thessalonians, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true." Pulp fiction 1994 "Mmmm-hmmm! This is a tasty burger!" Henry david thoreau "If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." George burns "I spent a year in that town, one Sunday." Unknown "Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately, no one we know belongs" Herbert V. Prochnow "A visitor from Mars could easily pick out the civilized nations. They have the best implements of war" Friday 1995 "You got knocked the f--k out!" Michel de Montaigne "A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband" Albert Einstein "All that is valuable in human society depends upon the opportunity for development accorded the individual." Pretty woman 1990 "Listen, I - I appreciate this whole seduction scene you`ve got going, but let me give you a tip: I`m a sure thing. OK?" Don marquis "Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint." Voltaire "The safest course is to do nothing against one`s conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death." Jerry stiller "During the Great Depression, when people laughed their worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one." Karl lagerfeld "I never smoked. I never drank and I never took drugs. The funny thing is, nothing is more boring, people like this. For me, it`s OK. But most of my friends, at least they smoke and drink." Henry david thoreau "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." Ambrose Bierce "In Dr. Johnson`s famous dictionary, "patriotism" is defined as the last resort of the scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first" Albert Einstein "Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." Lewis black "There`s no such thing as soy milk. It`s soy juice." Ernest hemingway "Every man`s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another." Matthew 28:20 "Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world" Bertrand Russell "Patriots always talk of dying for their country but never of killing for their country." Lauren hutton "We have to be able to grow up. Our wrinkles are our medals of the passage of life. They are what we have been through and who we want to be." Billy corgan "A good artist is willing to die many times over. What`s funny is, I`ve died so many times." Thelma e louise 1991 "Look, you shoot off a guy`s head with his pants down, believe me, Texas ain`t the place you want to get caught." A stolen life 1946 "You`ve seemed to come under the spell of a Rasputin of the paint pots!" Ellen degeneres "People always ask me, `Were you funny as a child?` Well, no, I was an accountant." Dwight D. Eisenhower "Together we must learn how to compose difference,not with arms,but with intellect and decent purpose" Clarence Darrow "True patriotism hates injustice in its own land more than anywhere else" John Adams composer "The real fabric of American society is not all those flags you see on people`s cars,it`s in the Bill of Rights and in our constitutional form of government" Phyllis diller "Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out." Bob hope "I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money" Dalai lama "Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can`t help them, at least don`t hurt them." Edwin louis cole "The degree of loving is measured by the degree of giving" Robert benchley "Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing." Buddha "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment" Simone de beauvoir "Change your life today. Don`t gamble on the future, act now, without delay." Judy collins "I have inspiration and feelings of being alive most every day I live." Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;" Mignon McLaughlin "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,always with the same person" Arthur Somers Roche "Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained" James Wolcott "Even the most piddling life is of momentous consequence to its owner" John Adams "Great is the guilt of an unnecessary war" Lucille ball "How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we`d profit from them" Lucius annaeus seneca "The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity." The dresser 1983 "Stop that train!" John lennon "Love is the answer, and you know that for sure; Love is a flower, you`ve got to let it grow" Angie dickinson "My mother was against me being an actress - until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra." Roman holiday 1953 "The Mouth of Truth. Legend is that if you`re given to lying, you put your hand in there, it`ll be bitten off." George Bernard Shaw "Baseball has the great advantage over cricket of being sooner ended" Erma bombeck "Never have more children than you have car windows." Dorothy Thompson "It is not the fact of liberty but the way in which liberty is exercised that ultimately determines whether liberty itself survives" Theodore dreiser "I believe in the compelling power of love. I do not understand it. I believe it to be the most fragrant blossom of all this thorny existence" Top hat 1935 "For the woman - the kiss, for the man - the sword." William shakespeare "The course of true love never did run smooth" Abraham Lincoln "Marriage is neither heaven nor hell,it is simply purgatory" Pedro calderon de la barca "When love is not madness, it is not love" Jas 1:12 "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." Stephan jenkins "Sex is funny and love is serious." Sunset boulevard 1950 "All right, Mr. De Mille. I`m ready for my closeup." Arthur conan doyle "We can`t command our love, but we can our actions" Psalms 1:1 "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful." Groucho Marx "Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot" Georg W. Hegel "What experience and history teach is thisthat people and governments never have learned anything from history,or acted on principles deduced from it" The bridge on the river kwai 1957 "Do not speak to me of rules. This is war! This is not a game of cricket!" George Jacob Holyoake "There can be no public or private virtue unless the foundation of action is the practice of truth" Lawrence tierney "Mattresses! Beautiful! Let`s go buy a couple of mattresses. Give `em to people for their birthday." Ron ben-israel "I did a cake for the 60th birthday of Elton John, for Britney Spears` 27th birthday and for the `Circus` album she put out - the cake had circus themes. I prepared a cake for a surprise 82nd birthday event for the architect Frank Gehry; the cake was comprised of mini-replicas of his buildings." William shakespeare "Love is too young to know what conscience is" Mike tyson "I`m in trouble because I`m normal and slightly arrogant. A lot of people don`t like themselves and I happen to be totally in love with myself" Oscar wilde "Hatred is blind, as well as love" The lady eve 1941 "You see, Hopsie, you don`t know very much about girls! The best ones aren`t as good as you probably think they are, and the bad ones aren`t as bad, not nearly as bad." Galatians 5:13 "For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another." Chris evans "For the youth, the indignation of most things will just surge as each birthday passes." Oscar wilde "When a man has once loved a woman he will do anything for her except continue to love her" Klute 1971 "Because when you`re a call girl, you control it, that`s why. Because someone wants you...and for an hour...I`m the best actress in the world." Voltaire "I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: "O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it" Arnold schwarzenegger "I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun" Shane 1953 "Prove it..." Jean-Paul Sartre "It is always more valuable to report the truth" Exodus 20:3 "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Frenzy 1972 "Lovely...lovely." Booker t. washington "I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has had to overcome while trying to succeed." Ralph waldo emerson "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." 1 john 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Loretta Castorini "Snap out of it!" Mignon McLaughlin "If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married,and another list of the reasons for their divorce,you`d have a hell of a lot of overlapping" Groucho Marx "Behind every successful man is a woman,behind her is his wife" Mark twain "Don`t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." Montesquieu "An empire founded by war has to maintain itself by war" Marc chagall "In our life there is a single color, as on an artist`s palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love" Brit marling "I get uncomfortable when people give me presents and watch me open them. I don`t have birthday parties, because the idea of a group of people singing and looking at me while I`m blowing out candles gives me hives." Craig Murray "As a rule of thumb,if the government wants you to know it,it probably isn`t true" Silas Bent "Harmony seldom makes a headline" Phil 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Audrey hepburn "The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides" William james "A chain is no stronger than its weakest link, and life is after all a chain." Sachin tendulkar "I hate losing and cricket being my first love, once I enter the ground it`s a different zone altogether and that hunger for winning is always there" Charles lindbergh "Life is a culmination of the past, an awareness of the present, an indication of a future beyond knowledge, the quality that gives a touch of divinity to matter." Joseph addison "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." Sylvia plath "And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." Billie holiday "Don`t threaten me with love, baby. Let`s just go walking in the rain" Ingrid Bergman "Happiness is good health and a bad memory" Pierre beaumarchais "Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough" The french connection 1971 "This is Doyle. I`m sittin` on Frog One." James Madison "War,should only be declared by the authority of the people,instead of the government which is to reap its fruits" Woody allen "I am not afraid of death, I just don`t want to be there when it happens." Jonathan safran foer "I`m not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I`ll be funny in real life. It`s the inevitable disappointment of meeting me." Brooke shields "Smoking kills. If you`re killed, you`ve lost a very important part of your life." Logan p. smith "People say that life is the thing, but I prefer reading." Johann wolfgang von goethe "Girls we love for what they are; young men for what they promise to be" Albert brooks "I don`t want to be the one to break it to you, but the future ain`t that funny." Martin luther king, jr. "Whatever your life`s work is, do it well. A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better." Honore de balzac "The motto of chivalry is also the motto of wisdom; to serve all, but love only one" John Keating "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary." Khalil gibran "Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls" Sarah Bellum "If you support any offensive war,consider yourself just as culpable of murder as the most insane serial killer" Bill Vaughan "Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man`s lifetime income - which he then spends sending his son to college" Simone de beauvoir "I tore myself away from the safe comfort of certainties through my love for truth - and truth rewarded me" James brown "I`m kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more." Paris hilton "I`m blonde and tanned and normal-sized! I`m sweet, shy, funny, have a big heart and I`m nice - and I like to eat." Demetri martin "The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly." Mark Twain "Don`t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first" Woody allen "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" Pablo Picasso "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist after one grows up" Colin quinn "Everybody`s funny in different ways." Dwight D. Eisenhower "How far can you go without destroying from within what you are trying to defend from without" Benjamin franklin "Life`s Tragedy is that we get old to soon and wise too late." Elmer gantry 1960 "I`ve heard many a powerful Bible-walloper, but you not only put the fear of God into them, you scared the hell out of `em." Mary Howitt "He is happiest who hath power to gather wisdom from a flower" James m. barrie "Dreams do come true, if we only wish hard enough, You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it." Grumpy old men 1993 "Looks like Chuck`s takin` the old log to the beaver." Cyril connolly "We love but once, for once only are we perfectly equipped for loving" Lucille ball "Once in his life, every man is entitled to fall madly in love with a gorgeous redhead" Jerry seinfeld "To me, if life boils down to one thing, it`s movement. To live is to keep moving." Rabindranath tagore "Love does not claim possession, but gives freedom" Paul feig "I have an inability to enjoy things, but that`s why we`re in comedy. If we were happy, we wouldn`t be funny, I guess." W. Somerset Maugham "A man marries to have a home,but also because he doesn`t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing" Soren kierkegaard "Love does not alter the beloved, it alters itself" Tom hanks "At the end of the day it`s got to be a good movie, it`s got to be a funny movie, and it`s got to make people think, `Hey, I couldn`t have spent my time any better.`" Sarah Bellum "Not only is war a form of legalized murder,but it is mass serial killing" George saunders "It`s funny with fiction - once you cut something, it hasn`t happened anymore." Elbert hubbard "Life in abundance comes only through great love." Robert a. heinlein "An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life." Dale Turner "Today the real test of America`s power and wisdom is not our capacity to make war but our capacity to prevent it" Ella Baker "My theory is,strong people don`t need strong leaders" Theodor adorno "Love is the power to see similarity in the dissimilar" Mary Roberts Rinehart "I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men,making their wars that boys must die" Working girl 1988 "I have a head for business and a bod for sin. Is there anything wrong with that?" Lyndon B. Johnson "The guns and the bombs,the rockets and the warships,are all symbols of human failure" Thomas jefferson "But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine." Johnny vegas "I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind." Aristotle "The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than upon mere survival." David brenner "When I go to a bar, I don`t go looking for a girl who knows the capital of Maine." William blake "Fun I love, but too much fun is of all things the most loathsome. Mirth is better than fun, and happiness is better than mirth" Simone de beauvoir "One`s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion" Patricia Sun "War is a failure of human intelligence" Ambrose Bierce "Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage" Pat Buchanan "If we don`t stop behaving like the British Empire,we will end up like the British Empire" John F. Kennedy "Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable" Gilbert k. chesterton "The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost" Robert Green Ingersoll "Anger is a wind which blows out the lamp of the mind" Oprah winfrey "I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear" Voltaire "Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination" Chloe moretz "My mom won`t let me buy high-fashion stuff unless it`s TK Maxx or a birthday occasion." Claude pepper "A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, `At my age, I don`t even buy green bananas.`" Unknown "A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works" John 14:27 "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you" Sophocles "Not knowing anything is the sweetest life." Fran lebowitz "Romantic love is mental illness. But it`s a pleasurable one. It`s a drug. It distorts reality, and that`s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw" Albert Einstein "I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination" Hugh grant "The reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny." Henry david thoreau "Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still" Star wars 1977 "You came in that thing? You`re braver than I thought." U Thant,Burmese UN Secretary General "In modern war there is no such thing as victor and vanquished,There is only a loser,and the loser is mankind" Henry Ward Beecher "Well married a person has wings,poorly married shackles" Christian nestell bovee "Our first and last love is self-love" Logan P. Smith "How can they say my life is not a success? Have I not for more than sixty years got enough to eat and escaped being eaten?" John 1:3 "All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made." EdgarA. Shoaff "A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern" Aristotle "The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances." Henry wadsworth longfellow "The love of learning, the sequestered nooks, And all the sweet serenity of books" Elisabeth shue "I really love `Soapdish.` I wish `Soapdish` had more of a moment because I felt that that is a really strong, funny movie. Kevin Kline is hilarious in that movie." Buddha "Better than a thousand hollow words, is one word that brings peace" Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation "Love is not a mere sentiment" Unknown "Don`t do whatever you like, like whatever you do" Martin luther king, jr. "It is not enough to say we must not wage war. It is necessary to love peace and sacrifice for it" Carol Burnett "Comedy is tragedy plus time" Iris murdoch "We can only learn to love by loving" The philadelphia story 1940 "Put me in your pocket, Mike." Citizen kane 1941 "What about me? I`m the one who`s got to do the singin`. I`m the one who gets the razzberries." Frank zappa "There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life." George bernard shaw "All my life affection has been showered upon me, and every forward step I have made has been taken in spite of it." Tom cochrane "Tragedy in life normally comes with betrayal and compromise, and trading on your integrity and not having dignity in life. That`s really where failure comes." John Fitzgerald Kennedy "I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty" Judy garland "I can live without money, but I cannot live without love" Victor hugo "Life is the flower for which love is the honey" Jennifer aniston "I love that feeling of being in love, the effect of having butterflies when you wake up in the morning. That is special" Jennifer aniston "My hair has never been my greatest feature, so that was funny enough unto itself that my hair became so focused on." Rodney atkins "Right now my favorite TV show - because it`s too close to home - is `My Name Is Earl.` That show kills me. There`s some funny stuff in there." Henry wadsworth longfellow "It is difficult to know at what moment love begins; it is less difficult to know that it has begun" Steve jobs "Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don`t lose faith." George bernard shaw "There is no sincerer love than the love of food" Bruce lee "The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering." Maya angelou "Life loves to be taken by the lapel and told: `I`m with you kid. Let`s go.`" Zane grey "I hate birthdays." Cyril Connolly "The true index of a man`s character is the health of his wife" Jas 1:2 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds," Marcus Tullius Cicero "Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey`s end" Unknown "Beat your own and others will fear you" Vertigo 1958 "And the necklace, Carlotta`s necklace, there was where you made your mistake, Judy. You shouldn`t keep souvenirs of a killing. You shouldn`t have been, you shouldn`t have been that sentimental." Simon Cameron "An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought" Michael Bergin "I wanted to marry a girl just like my mom" Joseph gordon-levitt "As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that`s when things start feeling fake and boring." Douglas adams "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by" Thomas sowell "It takes considerable knowledge just to realize the extent of your own ignorance." Tom lehrer "Laughter is involuntary. If it`s funny you laugh." Pearl s. buck "Love alone could waken love" Franklin Delano Roosevelt "A conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk" C. s. lewis "This is one of the miracles of love: It gives a power of seeing through its own enchantments and yet not being disenchanted" Oscar Levant "Happiness isn`t something you experience; it`s something you remember" Monty python and the holy grail 1975 "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Alice Duer Miller "Contempt is the weapon of the weak and a defense against one`s own despised and unwanted feelings" The moon is blue 1953 "Don`t you think it`s better for a girl to be preoccupied with sex than occupied." Margaret mead "Prayer does not use up artificial energy, doesn`t burn up any fossil fuel, doesn`t pollute. Neither does song, neither does love, neither does the dance" Rom 8:38 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers," Hermann maier "It`s funny to have become an elegant skier now. But my drive is still the same." Martin Luther King,Jr. "Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,but a means by which we arrive at that goal" Philippians 4:7 "And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Aldous huxley "It is a bit embarrassing to have been concerned with the human problem all one`s life and find at the end that one has no more to offer by way of advice than `try to be a little kinder.`" Loretta lynn "My biggest hero, Gregory Peck, was my birthday present on April 14, 1973. I just sat and stared at him." Khalil gibran "Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life`s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you." Lena dunham "I never thought of myself as like, a funny person." Joe Walsh "I can`t complain, but sometimes I still do" Senator John Taylor "National defense is the usual pretext for the policy of fleecing the people" John kricfalusi "Kids cannot follow stories. They don`t know what the hell is going on in a cartoon. They like to see funny visual things happening." E. b. white "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve the world and a desire to enjoy the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." Leonardo da vinci "As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well spent brings happy death." James 1:2 "My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;" Anthony J D`Angelo "If life doesn`t offer a game worth playing, then invent a new one" Ethan hawke "We live in a funny time. If you don`t go corporate, you can`t compete. You`re relegated as irrelevant. People used to admire that." Aristotle "Men create gods after their own image, not only with regard to their form but with regard to their mode of life." Vince lombardi "The quality of a person`s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor." Friedrich nietzsche "This is the hardest of all: to close the open hand out of love, and keep modest as a giver" The graduate 1967 "Would you like me to seduce you? (What? Is that what you`re trying to tell me?" Sidonie gabrielle colette "What a wonderful life I`ve had! I only wish I`d realized it sooner." Winston Churchill "Any man under 30 who is not a liberal has no heart, and any man over 30 who is not a conservative has no brains" Sergeant york 1941 "I ain`t-a goin` to war. War`s a killin`, and the book`s agin` killin! So war is agin` the book!" 1 corinthians 1:18 "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God." Bert Leston Taylor "A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you" Mark Twain "Patriotism is supporting your country all the time,and your governmant when it deserves it" Alphonse de lamartine "To love for the sake of being loved is human, but to love for the sake of loving is angelic" Samuel goldwyn "I don`t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they`re dead." Audrey hepburn "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it" Field of dreams 1989 "Hey, Dad? You wanna have a catch?" Blaise Pascal "I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man`s being unable to sit still in a room" Rebel without a cause 1955 "You`re tearing me apart! You, you say one thing, he says another, and everybody changes back again!" A league of their own 1992 "Are you crying? There`s no crying! There`s no crying in baseball!" Lost in america 1985 "Say it! Say it! Say `I lost the nest-egg.` Go on, say it!" Bonnie and clyde 1967 "We rob banks." Richard Maybury "Washington,has become an alien city-state that rules America,and much of the rest of the world,in the way that Rome ruled the Roman Empire" Marcus tullius cicero "The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living." Sen. Robert Taft,R Ohio "Criticism in a time of war is essential to the maintenance of any kind of democratic government" Kristin chenoweth "If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy" Kevin james "For some reason and I don`t know why, but I don`t think that I`m funny in California. So I always want to do my movies east somewhere." Jonathan winters "I know you can be funny without being filthy." Sacha Guitry "When a man steals your wife,there is no better revenge than to let him keep her" Aristotle "It is best to rise from life as from a banquet, neither thirsty nor drunken." Robert frost "A person will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body - the wishbone." Frances Conroy "Marriage is an exercise in torture" Philip green "It`s all about quality of life and finding a happy balance between work and friends and family." Herbert C. Hoover "Old men declare war. But it is the youth that must fight and die" Sai baba "Love one another and help others to rise to the higher levels, simply by pouring out love. Love is infectious and the greatest healing energy" Francis Bacon "I will never be an old man. To me, old age is always 15 years older than I am" P. J. O`Rourke "Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom do the dishes" Romans 10:13 "For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved." Marlon wayans "I`m good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue." William O. Douglas "The right to revolt has sources deep in our history" Mark Twain "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don`t mind,it doesn`t matter" John Steinbeck "A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it" Eminem "I say what I want to say and do what I want to do. There`s no in between. People will either love you for it or hate you for it" Sergeant york 1941 "Folks back home used to say I could shoot a rifle before I was weaned." Albert Einstein "Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little falls into lazy habits of thinking." H. L. Mencken "Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn`t they`d be married too" Carl P. G. von Clausewitz "Politics is the womb in which war develops" Bertrand russell "Italy, and the spring and first love all together should suffice to make the gloomiest person happy" John keats "I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for religion - I have shuddered at it. I shudder no more - I could be martyred for my religion - Love is my religion - I could die for that" Play clip excerpt: "At my signal, unleash hell." Mae west "It`s not the men in my life that count, it`s the life in my men." Isaiah 53:4 "Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted." Jim valvano "How do you go from where you are to where you wanna be? And I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal. And you have to be willing to work for it." William Colby,former CIA director "The Central Intelligence Agency owns everyone of any significance in the major media" David Lloyd "You are not going to get peace with millions of armed men. The chariot of peace cannot advance over a road littered with cannon" Katy perry "I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning." Thomas Jefferson "We did not raise armies for glory or for conquest" Bertrand russell "Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind" Oliver Wendell Holmes "Every calling is great when greatly pursued" Shahrukh khan "Without hurting anybody, we all tend to laugh at others` discomfort. When someone slips on a banana skin and falls it`s funny." Blood on the sun 1945 "Sure, forgive your enemies, but first get even." Bertolt Brecht "Grub first, then ethics" L.L. Castetter "The greatest protection against war is a well educated populace" Martin Luther King,Jr. "We have guided missiles and misguided men" Albert Einstein "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." Bible, ephesians 4:26 "Be ye angry and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" Jaws 1975 "You`re gonna need a bigger boat." The blues brothers 1980 "This is glue. Strong stuff." Colin Chapman "The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much" Mother teresa "Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier" Chris Hedges "War in the end is always about betrayal,betrayal of the young by the old,of soldiers by politicians,and of idealists by cynics" Dalai Lama "All forms of violence,especially war,are totally unacceptable as means to settle disputes between and among nations,groups and persons" André Roussin "If you were arrested for kindness, would there be enough evidence to convict you?" 1 peter 5:7 "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you." Robert orben "Older people shouldn`t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get." H. l. mencken "To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia - to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess" Matt 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Louise susan sarandon in thelma e louise 1991 "You shoot off a guy`s head with his pants down, believe me, Texas is not the place you wanna get caught." Tony robbins "Life is a gift, and it offers us the privilege, opportunity, and responsibility to give something back by becoming more." Play clip excerpt: "That wasn`t flying. That was falling with style." Star wars - episode i: the phantom menace 1999 "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering. I sense much fear in you." 1 thessalonians 5:17 "Pray without ceasing." Woody Allen "It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more." Emily dickinson "To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else." Mark Twain "Man is the only animal that is cruel. It kills just for the sake of it" Phil 4:19 "And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus." A clockwork orange 1971 "Come and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou!" Lawrence of arabia 1962 "It was my privilege to know him and to make him known to the world. He was a poet, a scholar, and a mighty warrior. He was also the most shameless exhibitionist since Barnum and Bailey." Casablanca 1942 "-You played it for her, you can play it for me!... If she can stand it, I can! Play it!" George Eliot "A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions" Henry david thoreau "There is no more fatal blunderer than he who consumes the greater part of his life getting his living." Wayne dyer "Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life." Bringing up baby 1938 "-Because I just went gay all of a sudden!" Christina hendricks "We were probably the last people in the country to get a VCR and we didn`t have cable. There wasn`t any admiration of glamour, no, `I want to look like them or have that lifestyle`, because everyone in my town had the same lifestyle. So I didn`t think, `Ooh, a movie star`s birthday!` I just thought, `What?`" Daniel Defoe "Middle age is youth without levity. And old age without decay" The african queen 1951 "I never dreamed that any mere physical experience could be so stimulating." Carry on cleo 1964 "Infamy! Infamy! They`ve all got it in for me." Oprah winfrey "The struggle of my life created empathy - I could relate to pain, being abandoned, having people not love me." Phillips brooks "Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious." Francois de la rochefoucauld "Jealousy contains more of self-love than of love" Isa 53:4 "Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted." Henry Kissinger "It`s not a matter of what is true that counts but a matter of what is perceived to be true" Bible, luke 4:23 "Physician, heal thyself" Samuel Goldwyn "A verbal contract isn`t worth the paper it`s written on" Maya angelou "My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return" Euripides "The greatest pleasure of life is love" Oliver hudson "Blood relatives often have nothing to do with family, and similarly, family is about who you choose to make your life with." General Douglas MacArthur "Our country is now geared to an arms economy bred in an artificually induced psychosis of war hysteria and an incessant propaganda of fear" Josh 1:8 "Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful." Charles kuralt "The love of family and the admiration of friends is much more important than wealth and privilege" Johann wolfgang von goethe "Life belongs to the living, and he who lives must be prepared for changes." Helen Keller "Be not dumb,obedient slaves in an army of destruction! Be heroes in an army of construction" Leo buscaglia "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life." Thomas Jefferson "When the people fear their government,there is tyranny; when the government fears the people,there is liberty" Champion 1949 "I suppose you know you have a wonderful body. I`d like to do it in clay." Harry connick, jr. "You know what`s funny? I don`t ever feel the need to escape. I have a strong marriage. I like my life. You hear about these guys having midlife crises - I don`t see that happening to me." Robert Byrne "Getting caught is the mother of invention" Pearl bailey "A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive" Bible, proverbs 16:32 "He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city" Helen hunt jackson "When love is at its best, one loves so much that he cannot forget" Paul merton "When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn`t about remembering jokes. It was about creating them." George washington carver "When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world." Albert Einstein "Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else, unless it is an enemy" Cole Sear "I see dead people." Elbert hubbard "The happiness of this life depends less on what befalls you than the way in which you take it." Helen Keller "Strike against war,for without you no battles can be fought" Albert Einstein "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen" The sixth sense 1999 "I see dead people." Piper perabo "So it was just funny to read a script that was just similar to what had been going on in my life." Zig ziglar "Money isn`t the most important thing in life, but it`s reasonably close to oxygen on the `gotta have it` scale." Charles l. allen "The hardest people to reach with the love of God are not the bad people. They know they are bad. They have no defense. The hardest ones to win for God are the self-righteous people" Congressman Ron Paul "Setting a good example is a far better way to spread ideals than through force of arms" Acts 17:28 "For in him we live, and move, and have our being..." Britney spears "Justin Timberlake is everything, and what more could you want in a person? He`s funny. He`s cute. He`s great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that`s cool." Nicholas sparks "I don`t know that love changes. People change. Circumstances change" Golda Meir "There`s no difference between one`s killing and making decisions that will send others to kill. It`s exactly the same thing,or even worse" David letterman "I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host." John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." George bernard shaw "Miracles, in the sense of phenomena we cannot explain, surround us on every hand: life itself is the miracle of miracles." Pharrell williams "I have an all-Japanese design team, and none of them speak English. So it`s often funny and surprising how my ideas end up lost in translation." A beautiful mind 2001 "Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter." Buddy valastro "Cakes are special. Every birthday, every celebration ends with something sweet, a cake, and people remember. It`s all about the memories." Benjamin franklin "I should have no objection to go over the same life from its beginning to the end: requesting only the advantage authors have, of correcting in a second edition the faults of the first." Psalms 89:1 "I will sing of the mercies of the LORD for ever: with my mouth will I make known thy faithfulness to all generations." Ronald Reagan "Protecting the rights of even the least individual among us is basically the only excuse the government has for even existing" Frank Zappa "Art is making something out of nothing and selling it" North by northwest 1959 " the world of advertising, there`s no such thing as a lie. There`s only the expedient exaggeration. You ought to know that." Peter ustinov "Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious." Jose Barreiro "There is but one evil,war. All the other proclaimed evils such as hate,greed,descrimination,and jealousy are only sub-categories of it" Theodore roosevelt "No man is worth his salt who is not ready at all times to risk his well-being, to risk his body, to risk his life, in a great cause." Albert Camus "In our society, any man who doesn`t cry at his mother`s funeral is liable to be condemned to death" Rosa Luxemburg "Those who do not move,do not notice their chains" Michael Jordan "I`ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed" Psalms 11:7 "For the righteous LORD loveth righteousness; his countenance doth behold the upright." Anna scott julia roberts in notting hill 1999 "And one day, not long from now, my looks will go. They will discover I can`t act, and I will become some sad middle-aged woman who looks a bit like someone who was famous for a while." Raising arizona 1987 "...Turn to the right..." Henry ward beecher "I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love" Erich fromm "Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence" Liam neeson "It`s funny, but you get to a time in your life when you think you have all the friends you will ever have." Leo buscaglia "Love always creates, it never destroys. In this lie`s man`s only promise" Leo buscaglia "Love is life. And if you miss love, you miss life" Herman Goering "The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders,tell them they are being attacked,and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger" Tennessee williams "We are all sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins, for life." Ellen degeneres "I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut." Wayne dyer "Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed." William james "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact." Bil keane "I don`t just try to be funny." Khalil gibran "Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation" Alfred Adler "War is organized murder and torture against our brothers" John James Ingalls "There is neither rank nor station nor prerogative in the republic of the grave" Deepak chopra "You can`t make positive choices for the rest of your life without an environment that makes those choices easy, natural, and enjoyable." William Ernest Hocking "I find that a man is as old as his work. If his work keeps him from moving forward,he will look forward with the work" General Omar Bradley "As far as I am concerned,war itself is immoral" Swami vivekananda "God is to be worshipped as the one beloved, dearer than everything in this and next life." Things to come 1936 "It is this or that. All the universe or nothing. Which shall it be, Passworthy? Which shall it be?" Orlando bloom "When you start falling for somebody and you can`t stop thinking about when you`re going to see them again, I love that. Women are beautiful. They deserve to be cherished and respected" Kelly clarkson "I just had my 30th birthday and we went turkey shooting. It`s what I wanted to do, so we went." Tom sizemore "Some actors try to play parts and do things they can`t do. Being funny is one of them. Being funny`s hard." Norm macdonald "Comedy is surprises, so if you`re intending to make somebody laugh and they don`t laugh, that`s funny." The cocoanuts 1929 "I`ll meet you tonight under the moon. Oh, I can see you now, you and the moon. You wear a necktie so I`ll know ya." Seth green "It`s sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it`s real funny." Blanche DuBois "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers." Rabindranath Tagore "Age considers; youth ventures" Dwight D. Eisenhower "This world of ours,must avoid becoming a community of dreadful fear and hate,and be,instead,a proud confederation of mutual trust and respect" Robert herrick "The person lives twice who lives the first life well." Zelda fitzgerald "Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold" Amos bronson alcott "The less routine the more life." Alvy singer woody allen in annie hall 1977 "Hey, don`t knock masturbation. It`s sex with someone I love." Honore de balzac "Love is the poetry of the senses" Genesis: 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh" The thief of bagdad 1940 "This is the Land of Legend, where everything is possible when seen through the eyes of youth!" Psalms 7:8 "The LORD shall judge the people: judge me, O LORD, according to my righteousness, and according to mine integrity that is in me." The quiet man 1952 "No patty fingers, if you please. The proprieties at all times. Hold on to your hats." The postman always rings twice 1946 "When we get home, Frank, then there`ll be kisses, kisses with dreams in them. Kisses that come from life, not death." Robert frost "A poet never takes notes. You never take notes in a love affair" Colin quinn "You can`t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody." R. Buckminster Fuller "War is the ultimate tool of politics" Winston churchill "We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." Arnold schwarzenegger "For me life is continuously being hungry. The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive, but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer." The women 1939 "Isn`t that divine? Jungle Red." The truman show 1998 "Good morning...Oh, and in case I don`t see ya, good afternoon, good evening, and good night!" Mike myers "My father was always a straight-up funny guy. He was silly. He was my inspiration." Will rogers "Everything is funny, as long as it`s happening to somebody else." Ronald reagan "My philosophy of life is that if we make up our mind what we are going to make of our lives, then work hard toward that goal, we never lose - somehow we win out." Emma roberts "I don`t really have a type of guy I like. It`s just like nice guys, cute boys I mean, ones that are funny." Lord Acton "Everything secret degenerates,even the administration of justice" Marcus Tullius Cicero "The more laws,the less justice" Camille 1936 "Never be jealous again. Never doubt that I love you more than the world. More than myself." FA Hayek "`Emergencies` have always been the pretext on which the safeguards of individual liberty have been eroded" Will smith "I love producing. I am loving doing that. I think that is my most natural space in the business. I just love producing or editing and that`s where I thrive" Isaiah 26:9 "With my soul have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early: for when thy judgments are in the earth, the inhabitants of the world will learn righteousness." Farrah fawcett "My number one goal is to love, support and be there for my son" Salvador Dalì "It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself" Drew barrymore "Life is very interesting... in the end, some of your greatest pains, become your greatest strengths." Citizen kane 1941 "A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn`t see me at all. But I`ll bet a month hasn`t gone by since that I hadn`t thought of that girl." Erich Maria Remarque "A hospital alone shows what war is" Mash 1970 "This isn`t a hospital! It`s an insane asylum!" Rep. William Waters Boyce "We may extend our dominion over the whole continent,but be assured it will be at the price of our free institutions" Jean -Luc Godard "Killing a man in defense of an idea is not defending an idea; it is killing a man" Charles Eliot Norton "If a war be undertaken,before the resources of peace have been tried and proved vain to secure it,that war has no defense,it is a national crime" Woody allen "I don`t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear." Young frankenstein 1974 "Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and you`re off with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! Oh... I think I love him." Young frankenstein 1974 "-Oh, thank you, Doctor." John 8:32 "And ye shall know the truth,and the truth shall set you free" James lipton "Comedians don`t laugh. They`re too busy analyzing why it`s funny or not." Groucho marx "Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot." Bette Midler "After thirty,a body has a mind of its own" Mike myers "My dad loved to laugh. He was very funny and very silly." David ogilvy "The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible." Erica jong "My grandchildren are fabulous and funny." E. m. forster "Love is always being given where it is not required" Craig ferguson "I don`t know now if I`m funny. I just keep talking and hope that I hit something that`s funny." William Appleman Williams "Freedom is not nurtured by nations preparing for war" Kirstie alley "I binge when I`m happy. When everything is going really well, every day is like I`m at a birthday party." George eliot "It is easy to say how we love new friends, and what we think of them, but words can never trace out all the fibers that knit us to the old" Young frankenstein 1974 "Put the candle back." Luther Burbank "I don`t feel good" Julius caesar "I love the name of honor, more than I fear death" Gone with the wind 1939 "He looks as if, as if he knows what I look like without my shimmy." Angelina jolie "I`m odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet." Ninotchka 1939 "We want to be alone." Dwight D. Eisenhower "May we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion" Robert Louis Stevenson "Every heart that has beat strong and cheerfully has left a hopeful impulse behind it in the world, and bettered the tradition of mankind" Jesse mccartney "All I watch is the Food Network. I took a cheesemaking class a few weeks ago, and I told my family and friends to only get me kitchen stuff on my birthday. I`m into every kind of cookbook and anything by Anthony Bourdain. I`d love to own a restaurant if I could find the right chef." Eleanor roosevelt "I`m so glad I never feel important, it does complicate life!" Karl a. menninger "Unrest of spirit is a mark of life." Psalms 119:90 "Thy faithfulness is unto all generations: thou hast established the earth, and it abideth." Nehemiah 8:10 "...for this day is holy unto our Lord: neither be ye sorry; for the joy of the LORD is your strength." Unknown "Live each day as if it were the last day of your life, because so far, it is" Hank azaria "You can`t be funny for funny`s sake. You try to get as outrageous situation as you can but it always has to be believable and based in real character motivations and what people would really do." 1 peter 1:8 "Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:" Elizabeth barrett browning "If thou must love me, let it be for naught except for love`s sake only" Jay london "It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes." Mark twain "By trying we can easily endure adversity. Another man`s, I mean." Ambrose Bierce "Accuse: To affirm another`s guilt or unworth; most commonly as a justification of ourselves for having wronged them" Elbert Hubbard "An enemy is anyone who tells the truth about you" Lewis carroll "One of the secrets of life is that all that is really worth the doing is what we do for others." Robin williams "If it`s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?" Robert Frost "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman`s birthday but never remembers her age." Sophocles "Children are the anchors of a mother`s life." Khalil gibran "Love is trembling happiness" Richard burton "False friendship, like the ivy, decays and ruins the walls it embraces; but true friendship gives new life and animation to the object it supports." Marshall Lumsden "At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer" Orlando bloom "I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could that be?" Edward Abbey "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government" Friedrich nietzsche "Art is the proper task of life." Manhattan 1979 "You shouldn`t ask me for advice...When it comes to relationships with women, I`m the winner of the August Strindberg award." Thomas Jefferson "I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever" Butterfield 8 1960 "Mama, face it. I was the slut of all time." Groucho Marx "I won`t belong to any organization that would have me as a member" Swingers 1996 "Mike. I`m tellin` ya, you`re money. You`re so f--kin` money!" Brendan fraser "I always approach comedy roles pretending they aren`t funny." Khalil gibran "I love you when you bow in your mosque, kneel in your temple, pray in your church. For you and I are sons of one religion, and it is the spirit" Frank Herbert "All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities" Marcus Aurelius "Look back over the past,with its changing empires that rose and fell,and you can foresee the future,too" The mask 1994 "Oooh! Somebody stop me!" Buddha "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Ps 133:3 "It is as if the dew of Hermon were falling on Mount Zion. For there the LORD bestows his blessing, even life forevermore." George Orwell "All the war-propaganda,all the screaming and lies and hatred,comes invariably from people who are not fighting" Oscar wilde "Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing for most of us that it is not." George Washington "Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism" Carl sandburg "Nearly all the best things that came to me in life have been unexpected, unplanned by me." Phylicia rashad "Any time women come together with a collective intention, it`s a powerful thing. Whether it`s sitting down making a quilt, in a kitchen preparing a meal, in a club reading the same book, or around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with a collective intention, magic happens." George harrison "With our love, we could save the world" Richard lewis "When you`re in love it`s the most glorious two and a half days of your life." Gilbert k. chesterton "The true object of all human life is play. Earth is a task garden; heaven is a playground." Thomas Paine "War is the gambling table of governments,and citizens the dupes of the game" Mother teresa "Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them" Bill hicks "We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free." Woody Allen "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." Albert Einstein "God does not play dice" John F. Kennedy "A nation that is afraid to let its people judge the truth and falsehood in an open market is a nation that is afraid of its people" Les brown "When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up. Let your reason get you back up." Ludwig von Mises "If some peoples pretend that history or geography gives them the right to subjugate other races,nations,or peoples,there can be no peace" Leo tolstoy "Faith is the sense of life, that sense by virtue of which man does not destroy himself, but continues to live on. It is the force whereby we live." Napoleon Bonaparte "War is the business of barbarians" Verbal kint kevin spacey in the usual suspects 1995 "The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn`t exist." Henry david thoreau "If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house with the conscious design of doing me good, I should run for my life." Aristotle "Thou wilt find rest from vain fancies if thou doest every act in life as though it were thy last." Samuel butler "Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children." Woody Allen "I took a speed reading course and read `War and Peace` in twenty minutes. It involves Russia." Hebrews 4:16 "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." The prime of miss jean brodie 1969 "Little girls, I am in the business of putting old heads on young shoulders, and all my pupils are the creme de la creme. Give me a girl at an impressionable age and she is mine for life." 2 timothy 1:7 "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension "Where ever you go, there you are." Albert Einstein "Anyone who doesn`t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either." Suze orman "A big part of financial freedom is having your heart and mind free from worry about the what-ifs of life." Bette davis "I`d luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair." Olivia munn "I think it`s always funny when somebody thinks you`re going to do something super sexy and then you don`t." Erich fromm "There is hardly any activity, any enterprise, which is started out with such tremendous hopes and expectations, and yet which fails so regularly, as love" Mother teresa "Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love" Elisabeth kubler-ross "The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well" Jenny eclair "As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn`t know that funny women existed. It wasn`t until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny." Catherine deneuve "Love is suffering. One side always loves more" Lionel blue "To my surprise, my 70s are nicer than my 60s and my 60s than my 50s, and I wouldn`t wish my teens and 20s on my enemies." Mark Twain "I am prepared to meet anyone, but whether anyone is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter" The silence of the lambs 1991 "Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?" John 13:34 "A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another." Citizen kane 1941 "I think it would be fun to run a newspaper." Alfred Adler ",Violence as a way of gaining power,is being camouflaged under the guise of tradition,national honor [and] national security.." David st. hubbins michael mckean in this is spinal tap 1984 "I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. The problem may have been that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being crushed by a dwarf." Bride of frankenstein 1935 "Yes, go! You live! Go!...You stay! We belong dead!" Igor stravinsky "I haven`t understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it." Anais nin "Our life is composed greatly from dreams, from the unconscious, and they must be brought into connection with action. They must be woven together." Angels with dirty faces 1938 "It`s true, boys. Every word of it. He died like they said. All right, fellas. Let`s go and say a prayer for a boy who couldn`t run as fast as I could." Confucius "The expectations of life depend upon diligence; the mechanic that would perfect his work must first sharpen his tools." Eric san "It`s funny how making odd noises can get you into strange situations sometimes." Ecclesiastes 12:5 "And desire shall fail: because man goeth to his long home, and the mourners go about the streets" Isaac asimov "Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It`s the transition that`s troublesome." Thomas Stearns Eliot "A man is a critic when he cannot be an artist, in the same way that a man becomes an informer when he cannot be a soldier" Samuel butler "Most people have never learned that one of the main aims in life is to enjoy it." Laurence j. peter "A man doesn`t know what he knows until he knows what he doesn`t know." Raiders of the lost ark 1981 "Snakes. Why`d it have to be snakes?" Bill Veeck "Baseball is almost the only orderly thing in a very unorderly world. If you get three strikes,even the best lawyer in the world can`t get you off" The most dangerous game 1932 "First the hunt, then the revels!" Gilda 1946 "If I`d been a ranch, they would`ve named me the Bar Nothing." Blue velvet 1986 "Mommy...Oh, Mommy, Mommy...Baby wants to f--k...Don`t you f--kin` look at me!" Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "The demands of internal growth are incomparably more important to us,than the need for any external expansion of our power" John lennon "Love is the flower you`ve got to let grow" Col 3:23 "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men," Ernie Pyle "For me war has become a flat,black depression without highlights,a revulsion of the mind and an exhaustion of the spirit" Heath ledger "I`m just not one of those naturally funny, relaxed actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it." Mahatma Gandhi "What difference does it make to the dead,the orphans,and the homeless,whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty and democracy" James 4:10 "Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." Calvin trillin "We all know funny people who can`t get it down on the page - even funny writers who can`t get it down on the page." Lamentations 3:22 "It is of the LORD`S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not" George burns "When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick." Paul lynde "I don`t know who the hell Paul Lynde is, or why he`s funny, and I prefer it to be a mystery to me." Henry david thoreau "Nature and human life are as various as our several constitutions. Who shall say what prospect life offers to another?" Romans 8:38 "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Samuel Goldwyn "A hospital is no place to be sick" Steve martin "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." My fair lady 1964 "Come on. Dover! Come on, Dover! Move yer bloomin` arse!" Pablo Picasso "Action is the foundational key to all success" Buddha "The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows." John Kenneth Galbraith "War remains the decisive human failure" Robert frost "In three words I can sum up everything I`ve learned about life: it goes on." Quentin crisp "Life was a funny thing that happened to me on the way to the grave." Arthur smith "Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world." Pyrrhus of Epirus "One more such victory and we are undone" K. W. Ibrahim "The war on terrorism is akin to the war on drugsunwinable,unless you kill everyoneor address the root causes" Bill cosby "I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who`ve had luck with it and those who haven`t" Thucydides "I am not blaming those who are resolved to rule,only those who show an even greater readiness to submit" The great ziegfeld 1936 "I`ve got to have more steps. I need more steps. I`ve got to get higher, higher!" Ramman Kenoun "Think of war as a game of Russian roulette. It is a game of chance with your life as the grand prize" Noam Chomsky "Everybody`s worried about stopping terrorism. Well,there`s a really easy way: stop participating in it" Josh Billings "As scarce as truth is,the supply has always been in excess of the demand" Ed koch "Citizens, thank you for all your birthday wishes. I am 88 years old today and still lucky to live in the greatest city in the world." Julia roberts "It`s funny when people say, `I don`t think Julia likes me.` Honey, if I don`t like you, you`re going to know about it." The empire strikes back 1980 "May the Force be with you." Muhammad ali "The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." Thomas Jefferson "I abhor war and view it as the greatest scourge of mankind" 1 john 5:4 "For whatsoever is born of God overcometh the world: and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." Isaiah 53:5 "But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Albert Einstein "He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe,is as good as dead; his eyes are closed" Mahatma gandhi "There is more to life than increasing its speed." Bertrand Russell "The greatest challenge to any thinker is stating the problem in a way that will allow a solution." 1 peter 2:24 "Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed." Lenny Bloom "Phony pretexts repeated often enough become real reasons. Things that,are not true become true in the public mind simply through endless repetition" Mitch hedberg "People teach their dogs to sit; it`s a trick. I`ve been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky." George bernard shaw "Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food" Alfred Adler "It is always easier to fight for ones principles than to live up to them" An american in paris 1951 "That`s, uh, quite a dress you almost have on...What holds it up?" Martin luther king, jr. "There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth." Mitch hedberg "I`m a heroine addict. I need to have sex with women who have saved someone`s life." Ramman Kenoun "War may be only temporary,but its toll remains permanently" Ronald reagan "Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours." Clarice starling jodie foster in the silence of the lambs 1991 "He won`t come after me. He won`t. I can`t explain it. He would consider that...rude." Elbert hubbard "The love we give away is the only love we keep" Mike Myers Austin Powers: Goldmember "You might be a cunning linguist, but I am a master debater" Angelina jolie "I am odd-looking. I sometimes think I look like a funny Muppet." H. l. mencken "Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another" George Orwell "Every war when it comes,or before it comes,is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defense against a homicidal maniac" Unknown ""Political economy" is a phrase consisting of two incompatible words" Sloane crosley "The Queen of Crafts herself, Martha Stewart, and I have the same birthday. I prefer to think it`s the glue-gun wielding, perfect-tart-producing Martha and not the copper pan-throwing, jail-going Martha. But I suppose if I am going to share a calendar square with some of Martha, I have to share it with all of Martha." Woody Allen "It is impossible to experience one`s death objectively and still carry a tune." Jeanette Winterson "After every ``victory`` you have more enemies" Blaise Pascal "Can anything be more ridiculous than that a man has a right to kill me because he lives on the other side of the water,and because his ruler has quarrel with mine,although I have none with him" Marilyn monroe "A strong man doesn`t have to be dominant toward a woman. He doesn`t match his strength against a woman weak with love for him. He matches it against the world" Ernest hemingway "All my life I`ve looked at words as though I were seeing them for the first time." Elias Canetti "All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams" Chanakya "The life of an uneducated man is as useless as the tail of a dog which neither covers its rear end, nor protects it from the bites of insects." Lawrence durrell "The richest love is that which submits to the arbitration of time" Helen keller "Love is like a beautiful flower which I may not touch, but whose fragrance makes the garden a place of delight just the same" Bill gates "People everywhere love Windows" Wayne dyer "Maxim for life: You get treated in life the way you teach people to treat you." Elizabeth barrett browning "Who so loves believes the impossible" Albert camus "I know of only one duty, and that is to love" Martin Luther King,Jr. "The chain reaction of evil--wars producing more wars -- must be broken,or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation" Jean paul "Every man regards his own life as the New Year`s Eve of time." Al yankovic "So that`s why one of my rules of parody writing is that it`s gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit." Socrates "Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued." Luciano Pavarotti "Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail" Richard bach "The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other`s life." Jean de la fontaine "Rare as is true love, true friendship is rarer" Sophie Kerr "If peace,only had the music and pagaentry of war,there`d be no wars" Pulp fiction 1994 "Now, you got a corpse in a car minus a head in the garage. Take me to it." Mark twain "What a wee little part of a person`s life are his acts and his words! His real life is led in his head, and is known to none but himself." Gilda 1946 "I hated her so, I couldn`t get her out of my mind for a minute. She was in the air I breathed, the food I ate." Jane austen "Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love" Dudley Moore "I am always looking for meaningful one-night stands" Captain oveur peter graves in airplane! 1980 "Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?" The band wagon 1953 "I can stand anything but pain." Jonathan swift "We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another" Frederick the Great "A man who seeks truth and loves it must be reckoned precious to any human society" The godfather 1972 "Leave the gun. Take the cannoli." Martin Luther King "All men are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality" Murray Rothbard "It is in war that the State really comes into its own: swelling in power,in number,in pride,in absolute dominion over the economy and the society" Diane arbus "Love involves a peculiar unfathomable combination of understanding and misunderstanding" David byrne "Sometimes it`s a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence" Se7en 1995 "Ernest Hemingway once wrote: `The world is a fine place and worth fighting for.` I agree with the second part." Martin luther king, jr. "The quality, not the longevity, of one`s life is what is important." W. somerset maugham "We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person" Henry ford "As we advance in life we learn the limits of our abilities." Henry miller "Develop an interest in life as you see it; the people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." Edward Abbey "Our "neoconservatives" are neither new nor conservative,but old as Babylon and evil as Hell" Meet john doe 1941 "Then you get ahold of some dough and what happens? All those nice, sweet, lovable people become heelots. A lotta heels!" Dale S. Mugford "When the largest industry in the world is no longer War,I will accept Darwin`s theory of Evolution" Eleanor roosevelt "People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." Thomas Merton "Peace demands the most heroic labor and the most difficult sacrifice. It demands greater heroism than war" Psalms 9:10 "And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, LORD, hast not forsaken them that seek thee." Groucho Marx "I worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty" T. s. eliot "For love would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith, But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting" Dale carnegie "Are you bored with life? Then throw yourself into some work you believe in with all your heart, live for it, die for it, and you will find happiness that you had thought could never be yours." Mark 10:27 "...With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible." Henry david thoreau "The cost of a thing is the amount of what I will call life which is required to be exchanged for it, immediately or in the long run." Josh billings "Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed." Elbert hubbard "Love, we say, is life; but love without hope and faith is agonizing death" Pablo Picasso "Art is the lie that makes us realize the truth" Busy philipps "I actually feel like, for a lot of my career, I wasn`t able to show my comedic range. I did a lot of dramas and dramedies. I was on `E.R.` That`s not generally thought of as a funny show." Buddha "I never see what has been done; I only see what remains to be done" E.t.: the extra-terrestrial 1982 "E.T. phone home." Sen. Robert Byrd "This war is not necessary. We are truly sleepwalking through history" Jack Benny "Gags die,humor doesn`t" A foreign affair 1948 "Want to buy some illusions? (sung (andWant to buy an illusion?" Ronald Reagan "The defense policy of the United States is based on a simple premise: The United States does not start fights. We will never be an aggressor" Proverbs 3:6 "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Ronald reagan "Life is one grand, sweet song, so start the music." Rainer maria rilke "If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches; for the Creator, there is no poverty." Rodney dangerfield "I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap." Paul lynde "I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church." John 15:20 "Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord" Phyllis diller "Housework can`t kill you, but why take a chance?" Gene Fowler "He has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it`s bottled" Dwight D. Eisenhower "We will bankrupt ourselves in the vain search for absolute security" Alfred Hitchcock "For me,the cinema is not a slice of life,but a piece of cake" Mark Twain "I am an anti-imperialist. I am opposed to having the eagle put its talons on any other land" Erma Bombeck "Don`t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other" Torquato tasso "True love cannot be found where it does not exist, nor can it be denied where it does" Victor hugo "To love beauty is to see light" Francis of assisi "Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love" Denis waitley "The essence of life is finding something you really love and then making the daily experience worthwhile" Aldous huxley "You should hurry up and acquire the cigar habit. It`s one of the major happinesses. And so much more lasting than love, so much less costly in emotional wear and tear" Sacha Guitry "An ideal wife is one who remains faithful to you but tries to be just as charming as if she weren`t" Ruby wax "I`m a misplaced American, but don`t know where I was misplaced." George bernard shaw "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake." Tom hiddleston "If you play it straight it`s funny - the best comedy is always played straight down the middle. The adjustment is understanding from the screenplay that a moment is hilarious." Friedrich nietzsche "Regarding life, the wisest men of all ages have judged alike: it is worthless." Ralph waldo emerson "With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now." The big sleep 1946 "I like that. I`d like more." Barbara kingsolver "Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run. The daily work - that goes on, it adds up." The bridge on the river kwai 1957 "Be happy in your work." Stan Goff "War technology is science in the service of obscene anatomical vandalism" Ben-hur 1959 "We keep you alive to serve this ship. So row well - and live." David Brinkley "A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him" Ron Paul "Do they think if we destroy our freedoms for the terrorists they will no longer have a reason to attack us" Nelson mandela "Sometimes, I feel like one who is on the sidelines, who has missed life itself." The african queen 1951 "Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above." Phillip Caputo "I guess every generation is doomed to fight its war,suffer the loss of the same old illusions,and learn the same old lessons on its own" Jiddu krishnamurti "The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed" Harry Emerson Fosdick "I hate war for its consequences,for the lies it lives on and propagates,for the undying hatreds it arouses.." H.L. Mencken "The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule" Casey stengel "They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What`s funny about that?" Frank zappa "There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we`d all love one another" Butler Shaffer "In this war as in others I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead" To be or not to be 1942 "So they call me `Concentration Camp` Ehrhardt?" David zucker "I`ve always thought those guys are really funny. And I love Dumb and Dumber, Kingpin and Mary." Seann william scott "I`m never afraid to try something if I think it`s funny. And I know I`ll regret it if I don`t." Guy pearce "It`s funny, though, with films, because you can incorporate a variety of elements, and sometimes that can work for you and sometimes I think it can work against you." Ramman Kenoun "The tyrant always talks as if he`s preserving the best interests of his people when he actually acts to undermine them" Sir John Frederick Maurice "I went into the Army believing that if you want peace you must prepare for war. I now believe that if you prepare thoroughly for war you will get it" A double life 1947 "Strike me pink!" Dalai lama "Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of Universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life." Funny girl 1968 "Hello, gorgeous." Buddha "It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell" Emo philips "I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator." Confucius "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Marty 1955 "Dogs like us, we ain`t such dogs as we think we are." Marilyn monroe "A woman can bring a new love to each man she loves, providing there are not too many" Joseph A. Schumpeter "Our poverty will be brought home to us to its full extent only after the war" Romans 8:39 "Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." George Byron "All who would win joy, must share it; happiness was born a twin" Idris elba "It`s really funny because the same people who loved me as Stringer Bell were the same people that were watching `Daddy`s Little Girls` literally in tears." George carlin "In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first." Bible, titus 1:15 "Unto the pure all things are pure: but unto them that are defiled and unbelieving is nothing pure; but even their mind and conscience is defiled" Dan Quayle "Bobby Knight told me this: `There is nothing that a good defense cannot beat a better offense.` In other words a good offense wins" Joe Garagiola "Baseball is drama with an endless run and an ever-changing cast" Albert Einstein "Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,in my opinion,to characterize our age" Walter Lippmann "It is perfectly true that the government is best which governs least. It is equally true that the government is best which provides most" John cleese "You don`t have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life`s about change." James a. baldwin "Everybody`s journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality" Juliana Hatfield "If you want to achieve things in life,you`ve just got to do them,and if you`re talented and smart,you`ll succeed" James Madison "The power to declare war,including the power of judging the causes of war,is fully and exclusively vested in the legislature" Colin mochrie "We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We`ll do whatever it takes." Hannah and her sisters 1986 "Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling?" Thucydides "Love of power,operating through greed and through personal ambition,was the cause of all these evils" Mister roberts 1955 "Captain, it is I, Ensign Pulver, and I just threw your stinking palm tree overboard. Now, what`s all this crud about no movie tonight!" H. g. wells "Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race." Deliverance 1972 "Say, mister, I love the way you wear that hat." Auric goldfinger gert frobe in goldfinger 1964 "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die!" André Roussin "I can resist everything except temptation" A. K. Griffin "If it weren`t for lawyers, we wouldn`t need them" Anais nin "Do not seek the because - in love there is no because, no reason, no explanation, no solutions" Network 1976 "This was the story of Howard Beale, the first known instance of a man who was killed because he had lousy ratings." Albert Camus "The welfare of the people in particular has always been the alibi of tyrants" Groucho Marx "A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere" Terry pratchett "Build a man a fire, and he`ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he`ll be warm for the rest of his life." Psalm 106:3 "Blessed are they who maintain justice, who constantly do what is right" Lil wayne "A lot of women don`t know how to love because there`s deep reasons for them not knowing how to love. And what I mean by deep reasons is deep and dark reasons" Anthony J D`Angelo "Have a strong mind and a soft heart" Mahatma gandhi "Purity of personal life is the one indispensable condition for building up a sound education." Thomas Jefferson "Be polite to all, but intimate with few" Matthew 7:7 "Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:" Groucho Marx "A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running" Mr. deeds goes to town 1936 "Why, everybody in Mandrake Falls is pixilated - except us." Johann wolfgang von goethe "The most happy man is he who knows how to bring into relation the end and beginning of his life." R. d. laing "Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent." Muhammad ali "He who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life." Bill cosby "A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice." Jane austen "A lady`s imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment" Thomas Paine "He that is the author of a war lets loose the whole contagion of hell and opens a vein that bleeds a nation to death" Rocky Balboa "Yo, Adrian!" Blaise pascal "When we are in love we seem to ourselves quite different from what we were before" Ken kesey "You can`t really be strong until you see a funny side to things." Demetri martin "I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that`s 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says `go outside.`" Phil Jackson "Approach the game with no preset agendas and you`ll probably come away surprised at your overall efforts" William blake "Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a Heaven in Hell`s despair" John gay "Follow love and it will flee, flee love and it will follow thee" Buddha "Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life." Twentieth century 1934 "As there`s justice in heaven, Mildred Plotka, you will end up where you belong - in the burlesque houses." Susan orlean "My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar." Joyce brothers "Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you`ve become a comfortable, trusted element in another person`s life." French soldier john cleese in monty python and the holy grail 1975 "I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries." Michael weatherly "I started running around my 30th birthday. I wanted to lose weight; I didn`t anticipate the serenity. Being in motion, suddenly my body was busy and so my head could work out some issues I had swept under a carpet of wine and cheese. Good therapy, that`s a good run." Lebron james "I`m a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys, where they could help me through it." Joyce brothers "Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable" Confucius "Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life" The rocky horror picture show 1975 "Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me... I wanna be dirrrrty! Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me... Creature of the night!" Junipero serra "I pray God may preserve your health and life many years." Con-air 1997 "Define `irony`. A bunch of idiots dancing on a plane to a song made famous by a band that died in a plane crash." Bride of frankenstein 1935 "To a new World of Gods and Monsters." Reservoir dogs 1992 "All right, ramblers, let`s get ramblin`." Leslie Richard Groves "People who talk of outlawing the atomic bomb are mistaken what needs to be outlawed is war" Bertrand Russell "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." Jean-Paul Sartre ",Uncalled-for aggression arouses the hatred of the civilian population.." André Roussin "He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much" Jimmy durante "My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe." Donald trump "You know the funny thing, I don`t get along with rich people. I get along with the middle class and the poor people better than I get along with the rich people." Annie hall 1977 "...That`s OK, we can walk to the curb from here." George bernard shaw "It is most unwise for people in love to marry" E. e. cummings "Humanity I love you because when you`re hard up you pawn your intelligence to buy a drink" Francois de la rochefoucauld "When a man must force himself to be faithful in his love, this is hardly better than unfaithfulness" Khalil gibran "To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice." Richard m. devos "Money cannot buy peace of mind. It cannot heal ruptured relationships, or build meaning into a life that has none." Auntie mame 1958 "Live, live, live - Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!" Will rogers "I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat." Saint augustine "O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet." Joan Powers "A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference" Jim Garrison "I`m afraid,based on my own experience,that fascism will come to America in the name of national security" Bible, i john 4:20 "If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen" Acts 20:35 "I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive." Bill Vaughan "Economists report that a college education adds many thousands of dollars to a man`s lifetime income,which he then spends sending his son to college" Hannah Arendt "The practice of violence,like all action,changes the world,but the most probable change is a more violent world" Cameron diaz "I`d kiss a frog even if there was no promise of a Prince Charming popping out of it. I love frogs" Jas 1:3 "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." Ralph waldo emerson "Life consists in what a man is thinking of all day." Jerry seinfeld "Men don`t care what`s on TV. They only care what else is on TV." Alfred Hitchcock "If it`s a good movie,the sound could go off and the audience would still have a perfectly clear idea of what was going on" Aldous Huxley "What is absurd and monstrous about war is that men who have no personal quarrel should be trained to murder one another in cold blood" Hugo Black,Supreme Court Justice "Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government" Max Lucade "Conflict is inevitable,but combat is optional" Proverbs 11:23 "The desire of the righteous ends only in good, but the hope of the wicked in wrath" Kings row 1942 "Where`s the rest of me?" Christina rossetti "Love shall be our token; love be yours and love be mine" His girl friday 1940 "The last man who said that to me was Archie Leach just a week before he cut his throat." Woody Allen "Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it`s all over much too soon." They died with their boots on 1941 "Walking through life with you, ma`am, has been a very gracious thing." Satchel Paige "How old would you be if you didn`t know how old you are?" Zig ziglar "When you are tough on yourself, life is going to be infinitely easier on you." Adam carolla "If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they`d be off TV. They`re not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we`d know who she was?" W. C. Fields "If at first you don`t succeed,try,try again. Then quit. There`s no point in being a damn fool about it" Sai baba "Man seeks to change the foods available in nature to suit his tastes, thereby putting an end to the very essence of life contained in them." Anais nin "Age does not protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age" Only angels have wings 1939 "I`m hard to get, Geoff. All you have to do is ask me." Erich segal "True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked" Muhammad ali "I hated every minute of training, but I said, `Don`t quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.`" Play clip excerpt: "It`s K-K-K-Ken c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me!" General Smedley Butler "War is just a racket,I believe in adequate defense at the coastline and nothing else" Michel de montaigne "If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love" General William Tecumseh Sherman "War is at best barbarism. Its glory is all moonshine,War is hell" Bertrand Russell "All movements go too far." Jackson browne "I told my father I wanted to play the banjo, and so he saved the money and got ready to give me a banjo for my next birthday, and between that time and my birthday, I lost interest in the banjo and was playing guitar." Don rickles "You know what`s funny to me? Attitude." Helen keller "Life is an exciting business, and most exciting when it is lived for others." Abraham Lincoln "Force is all-conquering,but its victories are short-lived" E. e. cummings "Unbeing dead isn`t being alive." John f. kennedy "I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours." Mignon McLaughlin "A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles" Reba mcentire "It`s funny how many people will come to Vegas to see your show where they might not come out to see you unless you come to their hometown." Thomas Jefferson "It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself" Frank sinatra "You gotta love livin`, baby, `cause dyin` is a pain in the ass" Khalil gibran "Of life`s two chief prizes, beauty and truth, I found the first in a loving heart and the second in a laborer`s hand." Helen Rowland "In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar,a practice which is still continued" Emmet fox "If you could only love enough, you could be the most powerful person in the world" Wanda sykes "But I think funny and talent will always win out; I mean, of course there are hurdles, but I think if you`re funny you will get over all of that." T.S. Eliot "That meddling in other people`s affairs,formerly conducted by the most discreet intrigue is now openly advocated under the name of intervention" Gilbert Chesterton "A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author" Mahatma gandhi "Where love is, there God is also" Helen Rowland "It isn`t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it`s separating himself from all the others" James Madison "The constitution supposes,what the History of all Governments demonstrates,that the Executive is the branch of power most interested in war,and most prone to it" Jimi hendrix "I`m the one that has to die when it`s time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to." Glitter 2001 "We ask ourselves, is she black? Is she white? We don`t care. She`s exotic. I want to see more of her breasts." George carlin "When you step on the brakes your life is in your foot`s hands." Hillary clinton "If I want to knock a story off the front page, I just change my hairstyle." Franklin d. roosevelt "There is nothing I love as much as a good fight" Psalms 119:2 "Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart." Albert camus "Man is an idea, and a precious small idea once he turns his back on love" The maltese falcon 1941 "You, you imbecile! You bloated idiot! You stupid fathead!" Out of africa 1985 "Perhaps he knew, as I didn`t, that the Earth was made round so that we would not see too far down the road." Prince Nicholas Romanoff "Friendships develop over food and wine" Norman vincent peale "Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles, but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory." Matthew 18:11 "For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost." Bertrand Russell "Many people would sooner die than think; In fact, they do so." Psalms 56:3 "What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." The big sleep 1946 "Then she tried to sit in my lap while I was standing up." Horace "Force without judgement falls on its own weight" Ayn Rand "Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil" Joaquin phoenix "I have this horrible sense of humor where I think discomfort is funny - partly because I experience discomfort a lot, and it`s a way of laughing at it and getting a release." Og mandino "Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished" Groucho Marx "I read in the newspapers they are going to have 30 minutes of intellectual stuff on television every Monday from 7:30 to 8. to educate America. They couldn`t educate America if they started at 6:30" Good morning, vietnam 1987 "Goooood morning, Vietnam!" William Wallace "Every man dies. Not every man really lives" George bernard shaw "The love of economy is the root of all virtue" John 15:16 "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit, and that your fruit should remain: that whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, he may give it you." Andy dick "I had no blood relatives till I made some." Roman holiday 1953 "This is very unusual. I`ve never been alone with a man before - even with my dress on. With my dress off, it`s most unusual. I don`t seem to mind. Do you?" Chris brown "My best kiss was on stage. Kelly Rowland from Destiny`s Child gave me a really nice soft kiss on my lips during a performance on my birthday. It was amazing." Rabindranath tagore "Love is not a mere impulse, it must contain truth, which is law" Russell Banks "Luck can`t last a lifetime unless you die young" Gertrude stein "It is very easy to love alone" Mark Twain "Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn`t" Bryant h. mcgill "True love is quiescent, except in the nascent moments of true humility" Unknown "A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child" John 16:33 "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace" Psalms 83:18 "That men may know that thou, whose name alone is JEHOVAH, art the most high over all the earth." To have and have not 1944 "Anybody got a match?" Gilbert k. chesterton "Love means to love that which is unlovable; or it is no virtue at all" John Cory "There are no politics in war. Politics is the luxury of the safe-at-home. War is a lottery of survival" Molly Ivins "Bad policies, stupid policies, gutless policies have real consequences" Muhammad ali "Old age is just a record of one`s whole life." Jerry maguire 1996 "Show me the money!" Sydney j. harris "The three hardest tasks in the world are neither physical feats nor intellectual achievements, but moral acts: to return love for hate, to include the excluded, and to say, `I was wrong`" Honore de balzac "When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues" The hairy ape 1944 "Get away from me, you hairy ape." Lucille ball "I have an everyday religion that works for me. Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line" H. jackson brown, jr. "Choose your life`s mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery." Oscar wilde "Fathers should be neither seen nor heard. That is the only proper basis for family life." Anthony anderson "I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house." 2 corinthians 3:18 "But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord." Mother teresa "Let us more and more insist on raising funds of love, of kindness, of understanding, of peace. Money will come if we seek first the Kingdom of God - the rest will be given" Marquis de Sade "Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers" The ten commandments 1956 "Oh, Moses! Moses! You stubborn, splendid, adorable fool!" Calvin Coolidge "No nation ever had an army large enough to guarantee it against attack in time of peace,or ensure it of victory in time of war" Leo buscaglia "Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time... It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other" John F. Kennedy "The basic problems facing the world today are not susceptible to a military solution" Ambrose Bierce "Eulogy: Praise of a person who has either the advantages of wealth and power, or the consideration to be dead" 2 pet 1:4 "Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires." Henry Ford "Anyone who stops learning is old, whether at twenty or eighty. Anyone who keeps learning stays young. The greatest thing in life is to keep your mind young" Robert Lynd "The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions" Jim morrison "Some of the worst mistakes of my life have been haircuts." The terminator 1984 "I`ll be back." Steve martin "Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!" Gentlemen prefer blondes 1953 "Is this the way to Europe, France?" The right stuff 1983 "No bucks, no Buck Rogers." C.L. Montague "Hell hath no fury like a non-combatant" 42nd street 1933 "...And you keep your feet on the ground and your head on those shoulders of yours and go out, and Sawyer, you`re going out a youngster, but you`ve got to come back a star!" Jerome G. Fenster "Human failure of communication and failed diplomacy between Nations should not yield the ultimate sacrifice; a life" Psalms 5:12 "For thou, LORD, wilt bless the righteous; with favour wilt thou compass him as with a shield." Bull durham 1988 "This is the damnedest season I`ve ever seen. I mean, the Durham Bulls can`t lose and I can`t get laid." Flip wilson "Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone." Charles spurgeon "Saving faith is an immediate relation to Christ, accepting, receiving, resting upon Him alone, for justification, sanctification, and eternal life by virtue of God`s grace." Ben hecht "Love is the magician that pulls man out of his own hat" Frida kahlo "I love you more than my own skin" The naked city 1948 "There are 8 million stories in the naked city. This has been one of them." Anne lamott "The worst part about celebrating another birthday is the shock that you`re only as well as you are." George Jean Nathan "Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote" Bertrand Russell "Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination." Ludwig von Mises "Society has arisen out of the works of peace; the essence of society is peacemaking. Peace and not war is the father of all things" Nelson Mandela "If you want to make peace with your enemy,you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner" Virgil Tibbs "They call me Mister Tibbs!" Plan 9 from outer space 1958 "You see, you see? Your stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!" Henry david thoreau "There is always a present and extant life, be it better or worse, which all combine to uphold." Johann wolfgang von goethe "Talent develops in quiet places, character in the full current of human life." Wall street 1987 "Lunch is for wimps." Uwe boll "I play PC and Xbox games at home, and I just got a PSP as a birthday present." Martin luther king, jr. "At the center of non-violence stands the principle of love" Marilyn monroe "Men who think that a woman`s past love affairs lessen her love for them are usually stupid and weak" Charley Reese "The politicians in this world,have at their command weapons of mass destruction far more complex than their own thinking processes" George saunders "I tend to foster drama via bleakness. If I want the reader to feel sympathy for a character, I cleave the character in half, on his birthday. And then it starts raining. And he`s made of sugar." Vincent van gogh "Love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is done well" Joseph addison "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for" Woody Allen "Students achieving Oneness will move on to Twoness." Mr. deeds goes to town 1936 "People here are funny. They work so hard at living they forget how to live." Joseph campbell "It is by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble, there lies your treasure." Johnny vegas "I used to be good with kids, but as I get older, I`m grumpy and terrible with them. As for doing a gig at a 6-year old`s birthday party, you couldn`t pay me enough." Albert Einstein "Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love" Proverbs 13:11 "Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase." Rodrigue Tremblay "The world should be worried about those who go around the planet with a can of gasoline in one hand and a box of matches in the other,pretending to sell fire insurance" G. K. Chesterton "The only defensible war is a war of defense" Harry S. Truman "The responsibility of the great states is to serve,and not to dominate,the world" Goldfinger 1964 "(Uh, just a drink. A martini. Shaken, not stirred." Thomas Jefferson "But friendship is precious,not only in the shade,but in the sunshine of life,and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine" Ace ventura: pet detective 1994 "Aaaaawl-right-y-then." Alfred Hitchcock "A good film is when the price of the dinner,the theatre admission and the babysitter were worth it" Blue velvet 1986 "It`s a sunny, woodsy day in Lumberton, so get those chain saws out. This is the mighty W-O-O-D. At the sound of the falling tree, it`s 9:30. There`s a whole lot of wood out there, so let`s get goin`." Michael j. fox "I`m going to marry a Jewish woman because I like the idea of getting up Sunday morning and going to the deli." Jean baudrillard "There is nothing funny about Halloween. This sarcastic festival reflects, rather, an infernal demand for revenge by children on the adult world." Doug Horton "Buying a lie is one thing, giving it away for free is quite another" Hubert h. humphrey "The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love" Isaac watts "Learning to trust is one of life`s most difficult tasks." Bill Cosby "Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries" Logan p. smith "If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth." Friedrich nietzsche "Without music, life would be a mistake." Charisma carpenter "This is funny because I just had a job over the summer for VH1, a project I did called Strange Frequency where I got to play a Goth rock band singer." Joseph Goebbels "Think of the press as a great keyboard on which the government can play" Martin luther king, jr. "It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me, but it can keep him from lynching me, and I think that`s pretty important" Deepak chopra "The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30 to 50 years." Woody Allen "My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers." Samuel lover "Come live in my heart, and pay no rent" Virgil "Love conquers all" Bertrand russell "To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead." Joseph campbell "The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are." Craig kilborn "However, frat-boy humor is funny and it always will be." Robert louis stevenson "The body is a house of many windows: there we all sit, showing ourselves and crying on the passers-by to come and love us" John burroughs "To me - old age is always ten years older than I am." Groucho Marx "Marriage is a wonderful institution,but who wants to live in an institution?" George sand "There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved." Charlotte bronte "Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity, or registering wrongs." Henri frederic amiel "The man who has no inner-life is a slave to his surroundings." Anais nin "Life is truly known only to those who suffer, lose, endure adversity and stumble from defeat to defeat." Thomas Fuller "Anger is one of the sinews of the soul" Henry david thoreau "Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked, in which you can walk with love and reverence" Napoleon dynamite 2004 "A`s pretty much my favorite animal. It`s like a lion and a tiger mixed - bred for its skills in magic." Graeme murphy "And currently, there are four to five new works in the pipeline for upcoming celebrations such as the Sydney 2000 Olympics, Australian Federation, my 50th Birthday, and Sydney Dance Company`s 25th Anniversary." Friedrich schiller "There is room in the smallest cottage for a happy loving pair" Douglas Jerrold "Dress it as we may,huzza it,and sing swaggering songs about it,what is war,nine times out of ten,but murder in uniform" Sherlock Holmes "Elementary, my dear Watson.[23]" Psalms 91:11 "For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways." Ayn rand "Run for your life from any man who tells you that money is evil. That sentence is the leper`s bell of an approaching looter." Elbert Hubbard "If you suffer, thank God! It is a sure sign that you are alive" Elephant man 1980 "I am not an animal! I am a human being." William Ellery Channing "The cry has been that when war is declared,all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated" Albert einstein "The monotony and solitude of a quiet life stimulates the creative mind." Yogi berra "I never said most of the things I said." Steve martin "I thought `Borat` was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn`t some studio-produced script with 14 writers." Sweet smell of success 1957 "I`d hate to take a bite out of you. You`re a cookie full of arsenic." Ralph waldo emerson "It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself." Leo Tolstoy "We must not only cease our present desire for the growth of the state,but we must desire its decrease,its weakening.." Andre breton "All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name" Tom baker "One longs to be funny, to make people laugh. Laughter is such a sign of approval, isn`t it?" Quentin Crisp "The war between the sexes is the only one in which both sides regularly sleep with the enemy" Khalil gibran "Love and doubt have never been on speaking terms" Robert M. LaFollette "If there is no sufficient reason for war,the war party will make war on one pretext,then invent another" Albert Einstein "All these primary impulses,not easily described in words,are the springs of man`s actions." Play clip excerpt: "To Infinity and Beyond!" Will smith "Love is the ultimate theme, but it`s not just for women" Henry david thoreau "I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor." Brendan gill "Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious." Wayne dyer "Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you" James Madison "All men having power ought to be mistrusted" 2 chronicles 7:14 "If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land." Apocalypse now 1979 "Never get out of the boat. Absolutely god-damn right. Unless you were goin` all the way." Maggie smith "I tend to head for what`s amusing because a lot of things aren`t happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything." Rod taylor "I suddenly realized how much I loved her when we attended Alfred Hitchcock`s 75th birthday party last August. There was something magical about that night, and it made me see how much she really meant to me." Marshall McLuhan "I don`t necessarily agree with everything I say" Woody Allen "His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy." Theodore hesburgh "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother" The heiress 1949 "He must come, he must take me away, he must love me, he must. Morris will love me - for all those who didn`t." Groucho Marx "A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five" Lucille ball "You see much more of your children once they leave home." Louise Beal "Love thy neighbor as thyself, but choose your neighborhood" Richard russo "If you work at comedy too laboriously, you can kill what`s funny in the joke." Alan King "If you want to read about love and marriage,you`ve got to buy two separate books" Marianne williamson "May we not succumb to thoughts of violence and revenge today, but rather to thoughts of mercy and compassion. We are to love our enemies that they might be returned to their right minds" Anthony burgess "Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone." The producers 1968 "We find the defendants incredibly guilty." Stella dallas 1937 "-All right, folks, you`ve seen enough. Move along, please. Come on, clear the sidewalk." Annie leibovitz "No one ever thought Clint Eastwood was funny, but he was." The day the earth stood still 1951 "(Gort! Klaatu barada nikto." Bertrand Russell "No one gossips about other people`s secret virtues." Ben hecht "Love is a hole in the heart" Jimi hendrix "It`s funny how most people love the dead, once you`re dead your made for life" Martin Luther "War is the greatest plague that can affect humanity; it destroys religion,it destroys states,it destroys families. Any scourge is preferable to it" Charles morgan "There is no surprise more magical than the surprise of being loved: It is God`s finger on man`s shoulder" Mutiny on the bounty 1935 "I`ll take my chance against the law. You`ll take yours against the sea." Mahatma Gandhi "Truth stands,even if there be no public support. It is self-sustained" Vegetius "No great dependence is to be placed on the eagerness of young soldiers for action,fighting is agreeable to those who are strangers to it" Laurence j. peter "Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." Henry david thoreau "I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours." Todd phillips "I think people like comedies and I think concept driven comedies seem to be working when it`s a clear concept and you deliver funny stuff." Judy garland "In the silence of night I have often wished for just a few words of love from one man, rather than the applause of thousands of people" Marie antoinette "Let them eat cake." Bernard meltzer "We may give without loving, but we cannot love without giving" Trouble in paradise 1932 "I have a confession to make to you. Baron, you are a crook. You robbed the gentleman in 253, 5, 7, and 9. May I have the salt." Harry Elmer Barnes "War is the most striking instance of the failure of intelligence to master the problem of human relationships" The jerk 1979 "The new phonebook`s here. The new phonebook`s here!" Bill watterson "The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us." The adventures of robin hood 1938 "May I obey all your commands with equal pleasure, sire." Play clip excerpt: "Don`t, uh, ever, ever, EVER call me stupid! OK?" Johan Christoph Schiller "A merely fallen enemy may rise again,but the reconciled one is truly vanquished" Albert Einstein "Everyone should be respected as an individual,but no one idolized" Jimmy fallon "The one thing you shouldn`t do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere." Anthony J D`Angelo "Give more than take" Peter Wastholm "All humans are hypocrites; the biggest hypocrite of all is the one who claims to detest hypocrisy" My little chickadee 1940 "I`d like to see Paris before I die...Philadelphia will do." Bible, hebrews 1:14 "Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?" Bertrand Russell "War does not determine who is right,only who is left" Ayn rand "I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine." Margaret cho "I can never tell when something is funny. I just have to do it onstage and find out." Colin Powell "Get mad,then get over it" Miguel angel ruiz "Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time." Aphra behn "Love ceases to be a pleasure when it ceases to be a secret" Isaiah 40:31 "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Blaise pascal "Love has reasons which reason cannot understand" Going my way 1944 "Y`know, at one time I had quite a decision to make: whether to write the nation`s songs or go my way." Jorge Luis Borges "Mir Bahadur Ali is, as we have seen, incapable of evading the most vulgar of art`s temptations: that of being a genius" A tale of two cities 1935 "It`s a far, far better thing I do than I have ever done. It`s a far, far better rest I go to than I have ever known." Franz liebkind kenneth mars in the producers 1968 "Hitler was better-looking than Churchill, he was a better dresser than Churchill, he had more hair, he told funnier jokes, and he could dance the pants off of Churchill!" Charlie sheen "I think my passion is misinterpreted as anger sometimes. And I don`t think people are ready for the message that I`m delivering, and delivering with a sense of violent love" Florence scovel shinn "The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds and words return to us sooner or later with astounding accuracy." Unknown "Here`s to your love, health, and wealth, and time to enjoy each" Spike milligan "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree." Caleb carr "You want to believe that there`s one relationship in life that`s beyond betrayal. A relationship that`s beyond that kind of hurt. And there isn`t." Who framed roger rabbit 1988 "So tell me, Eddie, is that a rabbit in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" James Carroll "We carefully nurture a spirit of detachment toward the wars we pay for" Robert frost "Take care to sell your horse before he dies. The art of life is passing losses on." Meir kahane "Love has its place, as does hate. Peace has its place, as does war. Mercy has its place, as do cruelty and revenge" Will rogers "If you want to be successful, it`s just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing" F. scott fitzgerald "Life is essentially a cheat and its conditions are those of defeat; the redeeming things are not happiness and pleasure but the deeper satisfactions that come out of struggle." Erma bombeck "One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child`s name and how old he or she is." Sudden impact 1983 "Yeah, you`re a legend in your own mind." John lennon "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." Dale carnegie "Take a chance! All life is a chance. The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." Isaac asimov "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." Matthew vaughn "I think movies glamorize violence, in the sense that they make it in a way that it`s either cool or funny." Corey feldman "It`s funny; I actually made poorer decisions when I sobered up then when I was screwed up." Romans 5:1 "Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:" Adam carolla "Maybe I`m delusional but I`m usually funny. It`s not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average." Psalms 12:6 "The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times." Conor oberst "I`ve cried, and you`d think I`d be better for it, but the sadness just sleeps, and it stays in my spine the rest of my life." Dennis miller "Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch." Henry Havelock Ellis "There is nothing that war has ever achieved that we could not better achieve without it" Jay london "I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I`m watching the highlights." They might be giants 1971 "Let it be said that they found us very close together, in the light." Jean-paul sartre "Everything has been figured out, except how to live." Allen Dulles "At least we`re getting the kind of experience we need for the next war" Taylor swift "I remember straightening my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It`s just funny." Thornton Wilder "Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she`s a householder" Henri frederic amiel "Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind." Drew barrymore "I love romance. I`m a sucker for it. I love it so much. It`s pathetic" John 3:17 "For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved." Norman cousins "Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live." William congreve "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned" Shailene woodley "So often, I read scripts and am like, `This would never happen in real life. It`s not trying to be funny. It`s trying to be serious.`" Stalin "A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is statistics" 1 corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." Christopher walken "I never know when I am being funny, and the other way too. I don`t think you can think about that. I don`t think you can try to be funny. Some people are just funny." To have and have not 1944 "It`s even better when you help." Theodore Roosevelt "To announce that there must be no criticism of the president,is morally treasonable to the American public" Joan Crawford "No wire hangers, ever!"[26]" Johnny guitar 1954 "That`s a lot of man you`re carrying in those boots, stranger." Ralph waldo emerson "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better." Thom yorke "Music is more difficult - try naming a political band. The Dead Kennedys. The Dead Kennedys are political, but they are more funny than they are political." 1 timothy 6:10 "For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." Gunga din 1939 "Very regimental, Din." Dylan moran "I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me." Driving miss daisy 1989 "Hoke, you`re my best friend." Victor hugo "Try as you will, you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love" Ludwig von Mises "Whoever wishes peace among peoples must fight statism" Arthur Schopenhauer "All truth passes through three stages. First,it is ridiculed. Second,it is violently opposed. Third,it is accepted as being self-evident" O. henry "Life is made up of sobs, sniffles, and smiles, with sniffles predominating." Heb 12:1 "Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Laurence j. peter "Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object." How to marry a millionaire 1953 "Look at Roosevelt, look at Churchill, look at old fella what`s his name in The African Queen." Love story 1970 "Love means never having to say you`re sorry." The producers 1968 "That`s it, baby, when you`ve got it, flaunt it, flaunt it!" John keats "I love you the more in that I believe you had liked me for my own sake and for nothing else" Alexander Pope "O peace! how many wars were waged in thy name" Confucius "If we don`t know life, how can we know death?" Mark twain "When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain" Charles M. Schulz "I think I`ve discovered the secret of life,you just hang around until you get used to it" Muhammad ali "I never thought of losing, but now that it` s happened, the only thing is to do it right. That`s my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life." Arthur smith "The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that`s about it." Steve Henthorn "Learn from the past. Look to the future. Live in the present" John dryden "Love is love`s reward" James a. baldwin "Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within" Albert Einstein "Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds" Albert Camus "Freedom is nothing else but a chance to be better" Jenny eclair "I can`t watch other people doing comedy. As soon as somebody starts being funny I have to turn off because it upsets me. I get comedy indigestion. I just hate anybody else being funny. That`s my job." Lance Cpl. Devin Kelly USMC "The reality right now is that the most dangerous opinion in the world is the opinion of a U.S. serviceman" Martin Luther King,Jr. "The greatest purveyor of violence in the world today is my own government" Bill cosby "I often try to tell kids to think about all the people who love you, don`t cry over the one person who doesn`t" Will rogers "Be thankful we`re not getting all the government we`re paying for." Friedrich Nietzsche "In individuals, insanity is rare; but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule" Lost highway 1997 "Dick Laurent is dead." Steven wright "I intend to live forever. So far, so good." Isaac asimov "I don`t believe in an afterlife, so I don`t have to spend my whole life fearing hell, or fearing heaven even more. For whatever the tortures of hell, I think the boredom of heaven would be even worse." Jack benny "I don`t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don`t deserve that either." Otto von Bismarck "Preventive war is like committing suicide out of fear of death" Frankenstein 1931 "Look! It`s moving. It`s alive. It`s alive... It`s alive, it`s moving, it`s alive, it`s alive, it`s alive, it`s alive, IT`S ALIVE!" Mitch hedberg "This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it`s dirty." Acts 2:38 "...Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost." Wanda sykes "I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business." Rom 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," David spade "I`ve got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose." The empire strikes back 1980 "I am your father." Cathy guisewite "Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups." Henry david thoreau "Do not hire a man who does your work for money, but him who does it for love of it" Charles m. schulz "All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn`t hurt" James Madison "The executive has no right,in any case,to decide the question,whether there is or is not cause for declaring war" Pete rose "I`ve never looked forward to a birthday like I`m looking forward to my new daughter`s birthday, because two days after that is when I can apply for reinstatement." Stendhal "A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love" Voltaire "It would be easier to subjugate the entire universe through force than the minds of a single village" H. jackson brown, jr. "Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness" Matthew 19:19 "Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself." Romans 10:17 "So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Theodore Roosevelt ",to befoul the unholy alliance between corrupt business and corrupt politics is the first task of the statesmanship of the day" Mark Twain "Just the omission of Jane Austen`s books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn`t a book in it" Harry emerson fosdick "Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it." Victor cruz "It is funny what a year can do." Jesus christ "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" Maya angelou "If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love" Rosa parks "Each person must live their life as a model for others." Woody Allen "I`m astounded by people who want to `know` the universe when it`s hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." Molly sims "My mom FedExes a red velvet cake she makes from scratch to me every birthday." Brigitte Bardot "It is sad to grow old but nice to ripen" Proverbs 20:7 "When a man walks in integrity and justice, happy are his children after him" Jean Jacques Rousseau "Free people, remember this maxim: We may acquire liberty, but it is never recovered if it is once lost" Sinclair lewis "What is love? It is the morning and the evening star" Alan watts "No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now" Thomas chandler haliburton "A woman has two smiles that an angel might envy, the smile that accepts a lover before words are uttered, and the smile that lights on the first born babe, and assures it of a mother`s love" William wordsworth "The best portion of a good man`s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love" Joe e. lewis "The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love." Leo Buscaglia "A single rose can be my garden,a single friend,my world" William shakespeare "Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man." Margaret thatcher "It`s a funny old world." Margaret smith "My uncle Sammy was an angry man. He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?" John morton "There is no limit to the power of loving" Kahlil Gibran "He who does not prefer exile to slavery is not free by any measure of freedom, truth and duty" Rear Admiral Gene R. LaRocque "I hate it when they say,He gave his life for his country. They dont die for the honor and glory of their country. We kill them" Invasion of the body snatchers 1956 "Love, desire, ambition, faith - without them life is so simple, believe me." Gilbert k. chesterton "To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless" Gone with the wind 1939 "It ain`t fittin`. It just ain`t fittin`." Aliens 1986 "Get away from her, you BITCH!" The greatest show on earth 1952 "You wanna bite somebody?...Well, pick your spot." Clint eastwood "They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning." Franklin D. Roosevelt "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth" Christopher marlowe "Money can`t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position" Psalms 19:1 "The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork." Matthew 11:28 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Oscar wilde "Those whom the gods love grow young" Henry miller "The one thing we can never get enough of is love. And the one thing we never give enough is love" William dunbar "All love is lost but upon God alone" Rainer maria rilke "Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other" Marcus tullius cicero "What sweetness is left in life, if you take away friendship? Robbing life of friendship is like robbing the world of the sun. A true friend is more to be esteemed than kinsfolk." Psalms 84:11 "For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly." Reese Witherspoon "I think women are natural caretakers. They take care of everybody. They take care of their husbands and their kids and their dogs,and don`t spend a lot of time just getting back and taking time out" Caskie Stinnett "A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip" Alphonse de lamartine "There is a woman at the begining of all great things" Robert a. heinlein "May you live as long as you wish and love as long as you live" Margaret thatcher "It is not the creation of wealth that is wrong, but the love of money for its own sake" The snake pit 1948 "I heard a scream, and I didn`t know if it was me who screamed or not - if it was I or not." Carol Sobieski and Thomas Meehan "How lucky I am to have someone that makes saying goodbye so hard" Seth rogen "As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted." Groucho Marx "I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on,I go to the library and read a good book" Lewis Mumford "Misery,mutilation,destruction,terror,starvation and death characterize the process of war and form a principal part of the product" Gen 1:27 "So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." Milos forman "Memories are doing funny things to us." Vivien leigh "Life is too short to work so hard." Ernest Hemingway "The 1st panacea of a mismanaged nation is inflation of the currency; the 2nd is war. Both bring a temporary prosperity; a permanent ruin" George washington carver "I love to think of nature as an unlimited broadcasting station, through which God speaks to us every hour, if we will only tune in" Edward R. Murrow "We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies,I think the soul of America dies with it" Proverbs 22:6 "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Tacitus "The more corrupt the state,the more numerous the laws" Anne hathaway "Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I`m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me." Mark 9:23 "Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." Thomas Jefferson "War,is as much a punishment to the punisher as to the sufferer" Sharon Stone "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship" Esther williams "I think it`s so funny when people think they can`t control a movie star. They can. We`re just women, you know." Benjamin Harrison "We Americans have no commission from God to police the world" Leslie fiedler "I think the pattern of my essays is, A funny thing happened to me on my way through Finnegans Wake." Maya angelou "The sadness of the women`s movement is that they don`t allow the necessity of love. See, I don`t personally trust any revolution where love is not allowed" Mark Couturier "It takes more courage to get out of a war than it does to get into one" Karen Horney "Fortunately analysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts. Life itself still remains a very effective therapist" Gloria steinem "I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career." Martin luther king, jr. "Life`s most persistent and urgent question is, `What are you doing for others?`" James Bovard "Freedom is whatever the president says it is,pending revision" Ray blanton "Honesty does not always bring a response of love, but it is absolutely essential to it" Bertrand russell "Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives" Katharine hepburn "Life is to be lived. If you have to support yourself, you had bloody well better find some way that is going to be interesting. And you don`t do that by sitting around." Albert camus "When you have really exhausted an experience you always reverence and love it" Garth brooks "It`s funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment!" Jean de la fontaine "Friendship is the shadow of the evening, which increases with the setting sun of life." Mark Twain "I don`t give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way" Victor hugo "Life is the flower for which love is the honey." Bertrand Russell "Government can easily exist without laws, but law cannot exist without government." Unknown "A political campaign starts when a politician stops working and goes about making speeches about all the work he intends to do" Joseph campbell "One way or another, we all have to find what best fosters the flowering of our humanity in this contemporary life, and dedicate ourselves to that." Sammy hagar "Every year on your birthday, you get a chance to start new." Woody Allen "I am at two with nature." Lao tzu "Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love" James Wolcott "The lies the government and media tell are amplifications of the lies we tell ourselves. To stop being conned,stop conning yourself" Ken Gillespie "I am not against all wars--just whichever is current" Rabindranath tagore "Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time like dew on the tip of a leaf." Lyndon B. Johnson "I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one`s wife happy. First,let her think she`s having her own way. And second,let her have it" Trainspotting 1996 "He knows a lot about Sean Connery." David Frost "Don`t aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in,and it will come naturally" Jordin sparks "Sometimes I feel like there are people just waiting for me to fall. The funny thing is, I can`t give them anything. I have just never been a partier, even in school." Billy connolly "My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger." Malcolm Forbes "Failure is success if we learn from it" Buddha "It is a man`s own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways" John l. phillips "There weren`t any astronauts until I was about 10. Yuri Gagarin went into space right around my 10th birthday." Fanny Brice "Hello gorgeous." Chinatown 1974 "You see, Mr. Gittes, most people never have to face the fact (that at the right time, the right place, they`re capable of anything." Jim lehrer "Most of the gaffes I`ve made have not been funny - they`ve been stupid." The awful truth 1937 "I wouldn`t go on living with you if you were dipped in platinum." Steve hackett "It`s funny, when people talk about the 70s I can tell you the year of every album but when it comes to the later efforts I can`t remember the exact years, it`s funny isn`t it?" Henri Frederic Amiel "I`m not interested in age. People who tell me their age are silly. You`re as old as you feel" William butler yeats "Wine comes in at the mouth And love comes in at the eye; That`s all we shall know for truth Before we grow old and die" Thomas Jefferson "Peace,commerce and honest friendship with all nations; entangling alliances with none" The third man 1949 "Honest, sensible, sober, harmless Holly Martins. Holly - what a silly name." George Bernard Shaw "Cruelty must be whitewashed by a moral excuse,and pretense of reluctance" Martin Luther King,Jr. "The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort,but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy" Margaret thatcher "I love argument, I love debate. I don`t expect anyone just to sit there and agree with me, that`s not their job" Ps 37:4 "Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart." Winston Churchill "War is mainly a catalogue of blunders" Jerry Maguire "You had me at hello." Benjamin franklin "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of." Blazing saddles 1974 "Mongo only game of life." Elie wiesel "The opposite of love is not hate, it`s indifference" Khalil gibran "Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit" The old maid 1939 "Tonight, just tonight, she belongs to me! Tonight I want her to call me Mommy." The bridge on the river kwai 1957 "You give me powders, pills, baths, injections, enemas - when all I need is love." Woody Allen "I don`t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality by living forever" Daniel radcliffe "I mean I`ve seen 3D films so far and I think it`s a long way to go before they replace actors. It`s a funny thing with 3D, I haven`t quite got it yet. Yet." All quiet on the western front 1930 "And our bodies are earth. And our thoughts are clay. And we sleep and eat with death." T. s. eliot "I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." Albert Einstein "Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts" Ramman Kenoun "Humanity is quite a unique species,since it is the only one with the means to wipe itself out" Mike myers "My theory is that all of Scottish cuisine is based on a dare." Yogi Berra "It`s like déjà vu all over again" Voltaire "Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her: but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game." Victor hugo "To love another person is to see the face of God" Jimmy Buffett "I`d rather die while I`m living than live while I`m dead" Groucho Marx "I remember the first time I had sex,I kept the receipt" Bob hope "A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live." Joan rivers "Never floss with a stranger." To each his own 1946 "I think this is our dance, Mother." Celine dion "I often buy myself presents. Sometimes I will spend 0,000 in one day in a posh boutique." Zach galifianakis "Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious." Sydney J. Harris "Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage" Marie curie "Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less." Psalms 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." A. E. Newman "Crime does not pay as well as politics" Chloe moretz "I follow the most random people on Twitter. I follow famous people like Khloe Kardashian, who surprisingly makes really funny tweets all the time." Johann wolfgang von goethe "Character develops itself in the stream of life." 1 john 4:4 "Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world." Dr. Squid "In the country of the blind, the one-eyed man is king... and the one-eyed man with the high heels and the feather boa is queen" John F. Kennedy "Peace is a daily,a weekly,a monthly process,gradually changing opinions,slowly eroding old barriers,quietly building new structures" James Madison "The loss of liberty at home is to be charged to the provisions against danger,real or imagined,from abroad" Proverbs 16:9 "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps" Philippians 2:12 "Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." Emo philips "I was the kid next door`s imaginary friend." Gilda 1946 "Hate is a very exciting emotion. Haven`t you noticed? Very exciting. I hate you so much that I think I`m gonna die from it." John Bright "If this phrase of the `balance of power` is to be always an argument for war,the pretext for war will never be wanting,and peace can never be secure" Golda meir "Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement." Leonardo da vinci "Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else." Robert E. Lee "What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends,and mar the purest joys and happiness god has given us in this world.." Johnny depp "Life`s pretty good, and why wouldn`t it be? I`m a pirate, after all." Horace "Anger is a short madness" William congreve "Say what you will, `tis better to be left than never to have been loved" Noam Chomsky "You never need an argument against the use of violence,you need an argument for it" Gilbert k. chesterton "The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people" Megyn kelly "I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That`s the truth. I actually think he`s very funny. I`ve paid to see him do his stand-up routine." Buddha "In a controversy the instant we feel anger we have already ceased striving for the truth, and have begun striving for ourselves" Buddha "Do not dwell in the past,do not dream of the future,concentrate the mind on the present moment" H. G. Wells "It is not reasonable that those who gamble with men`s lives should not pay with their own" Mae west "Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache" George Bernard Shaw "Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can`t sleep with the window shut,and a woman who can`t sleep with the window open" Robert louis stevenson "So long as we love, we serve; so long as we are loved by others, I should say that we are almost indispensable; and no man is useless while he has a friend" Albert einstein "Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." William shakespeare "Love to faults is always blind, always is to joy inclined. Lawless, winged, and unconfined, and breaks all chains from every mind" William arthur ward "A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life." Groucho Marx "Either he`s dead or my watch has stopped" Rush hour 1998 "Do you understand the words that are comin` out of my mouth?" Albert Einstein "Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding" Samuel Goldwyn "I don`t want any "yes-men" around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs" Laurence Peter "Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame" You are my butterfly and you are my ecstasy "You are my ground and you are my rainbow" Bernard M. Baruch "Let us not deceive ourselves; we must elect world peace or world destruction" Larry flynt "The two most misused words in the entire English vocabulary are love and friendship. A true friend would die for you, so when you start trying to count them on one hand, you don`t need any fingers" Charles De Gaulle "How can you expect to govern a country that has two hundred and forty-six kinds of cheese" Rene russo "Every day, every birthday candle I blow out, every penny I throw over my shoulder in a wishing well, every time my daughter says, `Let`s make a wish on a star,` there`s one thing I wish for: wisdom." Finley Peter Dunne "The only good husbands stay bachelors: They`re too considerate to get married" George bernard shaw "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart`s desire. The other is to gain it." Woody Allen "Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought-- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things." John T. Flynn "Imperialism is an institution under which one nation asserts the right to seize the land or at least to control the government or resources of another people" Grusinskaya "I want to be alone." Anton Pavlovich Chekhov "If there is a gun hanging on the wall in the first act, it must fire in the last" Mo rocca "When it comes to war, we focus more on the mainstream coverage of the event, rather than the event itself. People dying is never funny. Protest puppets are always funny." Paulo coelho "We have lost contact with reality, the simplicity of life." Khalil gibran "March on. Do not tarry. To go forward is to move toward perfection. March on, and fear not the thorns, or the sharp stones on life`s path." Stephen Leacock "Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl" Albert camus "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life." Judith viorst "Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia" Robert crais "Sometimes I am so dry that people don`t know I`m kidding and think I`m being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions are often funny." Cecil B. De Mille "A dozen press agents working overtime can do terrible things to the human spirit" Ludwig von Mises "The essence of so-called war prosperity; it enriches some by what it takes from others. It is not rising wealth but a shifting of wealth and income" Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis "The greatest menace to freedom is an inert people" The tingler 1959 "Ladies and gentlemen, just a word of warning. If any of you are not convinced that you have a tingler of your own, the next time you`re frightened in the dark, don`t scream." The gay divorcee 1934 "Chance is the fool`s name for fate." Marcus tullius cicero "If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life. With confidence, you have won even before you have started." Oriana Fallaci "Have you ever thought that war is a madhouse and that everyone in the war is a patient" Marcus garvey "There is no force like success, and that is why the individual makes all effort to surround himself throughout life with the evidence of it; as of the individual, so should it be of the nation." P. J. O`Rourke "Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it" Algiers 1938 "-And so I have, my friend." Johann wolfgang von goethe "It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do, that makes life blessed." Robert Taft "The maintenance of the right of criticism in the long run will do the country,more good than it will do the enemy" Davy Crockett "Remember that a government big enough to give you everything you want is also big enough to take away everything you have" Fred allen "I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there." Anton Chekhov "Any idiot can face a crisis,it`s day to day living that wears you out" Ramman Kenoun "All it takes is a single act of aggression to permanently wound a nation`s reputation" James 1:15 "After desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death" Lily tomlin "If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?" All that jazz 1979 "Hey, at least I won`t have to lie to you anymore." Alfred Hitchcock "Drama is life with the dull bits cut out" Born yesterday 1950 "You eat terrible. Ya got no manners. Takin` your shoes off all the time. That`s another thing. Pickin` your teeth. You`re just not couth!" George W. Bush "If this were a dictatorship,it`d be a heck of a lot easier,just so long as I`m the dictator" Desiderius erasmus "To know nothing is the happiest life." Duel in the sun 1946 "Pearl, you`re curved in the flesh of temptation. Resistance is going to be a darn sight harder for you than for females protected by the shape of sows." Freddy fender "I`m a romantic, and we romantics are more sensitive to the way people feel. We love more, and we hurt more. When we`re hurt, we hurt for a long time" Kristen wiig "With improv, it`s a combination of listening and not trying to be funny." Knut Hamsun "In old age we are like a batch of letters that someone has sent. We are no longer in the past,we have arrived" Chad michael murray "To all the girls out there who think being funny is not sexy, you are wrong!" Some like it hot 1959 "The story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop." The sound of music 1965 "The von Trapp children don`t play. They march." Play clip excerpt: "I am big. It`s the pictures that got small." Thomas merton "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another" H. H. Munro "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation" Camille 1936 "I always look well when I`m near death." Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn "Anyone who has proclaimed violence his method inexorably must choose lying as his principle" Julia child "The secret of a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know they`re right if you love to be with them all the time" Baz luhrmann "I feel funny about owning art. I don`t really want to say: `Wow, come and see my Monet - it`s in a dark room at the bottom of my cellar.`" Thomas Jefferson "Governments constantly choose between telling lies and fighting wars,with the end result always being the same. One will always lead to the other" General Smedley Butler "War is a racket. It is the only one international in scope. It is the only one in which the profits are reckoned in dollars and the losses in lives" Stephen covey "There are three constants in life... change, choice and principles." Galatians 5:22 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law." Elvis Presley "When I get married,it`ll be no secret" Joan rivers "If God wanted us to bend over he`d put diamonds on the floor." Abdul kalam "Life is a difficult game. You can win it only by retaining your birthright to be a person." Julia Ward Howe "The sword of murder is not the balance of justice" The adventures of buckaroo banzai across the 8th dimension 1984 "...Remember, no matter where you go, there you are." Samuel Goldwyn "If I could drop dead right now, I`d be the happiest man alive" William shakespeare "I bear a charmed life." Walt disney "I have been up against tough competition all my life. I wouldn`t know how to get along without it." Thomas Carlyle "War is a quarrel between two thieves too cowardly to fight their own battle" Francois de la rochefoucauld "It is with true love as it is with ghosts; everyone talks about it, but few have seen it" Martin Luther King,Jr. "The bombs in Vietnam explode at home; they destroy the hopes and possibilities for a decent America" Tippi hedren "One lion thinks it`s just hilarious to tackle us. He`s very funny about it... and we always know when it will happen." Anais nin "Anxiety is love`s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic" 1 john 3:16 "Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren." Play clip excerpt: "Gentlemen, Chicolini here may talk like an idiot and look like an idiot, but don`t let that fool you. He really is an idiot." Benjamin Franklin "Wars are not paid for in wartime,the bill comes later" Buddha "An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind" Annie hall 1977 "I forgot my mantra." Abraham Lincoln "I destroy my enemies when I make them my friends" Johann wolfgang von goethe "He only earns his freedom and his life Who takes them every day by storm." Forbidden planet 1956 "Monsters, John. Monsters from the Id." Salon Gahlin,Swedish author "The fact that certain planets are uninhabited may very well derive from the fact that their nuclear scientist are more advanced than ours" From here to eternity 1953 "I never knew it could be like this. Nobody ever kissed me the way you do. (Nobody? No, nobody." Walter Lippmann "The time has come to stop beating our heads against stone walls under the illusion that we have been appointed policeman to the human race" Louis c. k. "I don`t like comedy. I like funny things. I don`t like comedy. Like, comedy movies are just, `Oh Jesus.`" Jesse Owens "A lifetime of training for just ten seconds" Enoch Powell "History is littered with wars which everybody knew would never happen" Sigmund Freud "Civilized society is perpetually menaced with disintegration through this primary hostility of men towards one another.." Sophia Bush "Marriage is not about age; it`s about finding the right person" Nate silver "When human judgment and big data intersect there are some funny things that happen." Never give a sucker an even break 1941 "I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That`s the one thing I`m indebted to her for." Wavy gravy "Keep your sense of humor, my friend; if you don`t have a sense of humor it just isn`t funny anymore." James Madison "A people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives" John dryden "Pains of love be sweeter far than all other pleasures are" Isaiah 54:17 "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn" Albert einstein "People love chopping wood. In this activity one immediately sees results" Mary Schmich "Like many women my age, I am 28 years old" Bertrand russell "The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge." The treasure of the sierra madre 1948 "Badges? We ain`t got no badges! We don`t need no badges! I don`t have to show you any stinking badges!" Carl jung "Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking. The one is the shadow of the other" From here to eternity 1953 "Only my friends call me wop." Bob Wells "For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program" Viktor e. frankl "Life can be pulled by goals just as surely as it can be pushed by drives." Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction." Joe rogan "That`s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard." Rick DellaRatta "When we fill our souls up with creativity,artistry and intelligence,we have a better chance at avoiding the behavior that leads to destruction" Mark Twain "Each man must for himself alone decide what is right and what is wrong,which course is patriotic and which isn`t" Abraham Lincoln "If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?" Natalie portman "Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women" Steve martin "A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." The wild bunch 1969 "If they move, kill `em." William feather "One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure." Albert camus "But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads?" George gershwin "Life is a lot like jazz... it`s best when you improvise." Rita Rudner "I love being married. It`s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life" Carl P. G. von Clausewitz "The political object is the goal,war is the means of reaching it,and the means can never be considered in isolation from their purposes" Ed wood johnny depp in ed wood 1994 "No, I`m all man. I even fought in WWII. Of course, I was wearing women`s undergarments under my uniform." Matthew 28:18 "And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth." John heywood "Would ye both eat your cake and have your cake?" Robin Cook "There were no international terrorists in Iraq until we went in. It was we who gave the perfect conditions in which Al Qaeda could thrive" Cat deeley "I used to say I wanted somebody funny and intelligent, but kindness is the most important quality in a man." Dalai Lama "I am a steadfast follower of the doctrine of non-violence which was first preached by Lord Buddha,whose divine wisdom is absolute.." Thomas keller "No, it`s funny, when I eat out it`s not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine." Lethal weapon 1987 "I`m too old for this s--t." Ernest hemingway "Never go on trips with anyone you do not love" Albert J. Nock "It is unfortunately none too well understood that,just as the State has no money of its own,so it has no power of its own" Georges Courteline "It`s better to waste one`s youth than to do nothing with it at all" John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Samuel johnson "We love to expect, and when expectation is either disappointed or gratified, we want to be again expecting" Henry Ellis "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on" Johann wolfgang von goethe "Love does not dominate; it cultivates" Anais nin "Dreams are necessary to life." Tony robbins "Using the power of decision gives you the capacity to get past any excuse to change any and every part of your life in an instant." Isa 41:10 "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Ronald Reagan "History teaches that war begins when governments believe the price of aggression is cheap" T. s. eliot "Where is the Life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?" Francois rabelais "Gestures, in love, are incomparably more attractive, effective and valuable than words" Kin Hubbard "Peace has its victories no less than war,but it doesn`t have as many monuments to unveil" General William Westmoreland "The military doesn`t start wars. The politicians start wars" Will Rogers "An ignorant person is one who doesn`t know what you have just found out" The candidate 1972 "What do we do now?" George bernard shaw "The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post" Chinatown 1974 "You`re a very nosy fella, kitty-cat, huh? Do you know what happens to nosy fellas? Huh, no? Wanna guess? Huh? No. OK, they lose their noses." Sling blade 1996 "Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it a kaiser blade." Michael pollan "Plus, I love comic writing. Nothing satisfies me more than finding a funny way to phrase something." Irving Kristol "Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions, it only guarantees equality of opportunity" Anna christie 1930 "Gimme a whiskey, ginger ale on the side, and don`t be stingy, baby." George carlin "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." Play clip excerpt: "What we do in life echoes in eternity." Brian tracy "The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance" Marilyn monroe "Respect is one of life`s greatest treasures. I mean, what does it all add up to if you don`t have that?" Angelina jolie "I don`t believe in guilt, I believe in living on impulse as long as you never intentionally hurt another person, and don`t judge people in your life. I think you should live completely free." Calvin trillin "If it`s inappropriate to write about, if there`s nothing funny about it, then it`s not funny." Oliver! 1968 "Please, sir. I want some more." Helen keller "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." Paul Valery "An artist never really finishes his work, he merely abandons it" Blazing saddles 1974 "Hold it. The next man makes a move, the nigger gets it." Alfred Hitchcock "I am a typed director. If I made Cinderella,the audience would immediately be looking for a body in the coach" Noam Chomsky "To some degree it matters who`s in office,but it matters more how much pressure they`re under from the public" Eric butterworth "Don`t go through life, grow through life." Samantha bee "I hate birthdays. I thought that I only hated my own birthday, and then I realized that I hate my children`s birthdays too." Seneca "Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life." Mae west "A woman in love can`t be reasonable - or she probably wouldn`t be in love" Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "The coward threatens when he is safe" Ambrose Bierce "Beauty: That power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband" Pope Benedict "The truth of Christ is the full and authentic response to that human desire for relationship,communion and meaning,which is reflected in the immense popularity of social networks" Marcus garvey "If you have no confidence in self, you are twice defeated in the race of life." 2 timothy 4:7 "I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith:" Paul sweeney "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year" Abraham cahan "Life is much shorter than I imagined it to be." Unknown "A liberal is someone too poor to be a capitalist, and too rich to be a communist" The awful truth 1937 "And if it should get dull, you can always go over to Tul-sa for the weekend." Robert frost "We love things we love what they are" Thomas aquinas "Love takes up where knowledge leaves off" Bob Hope "I don`t feel old. I don`t feel anything till noon. That`s when it`s time for my nap" Kellan lutz "It`s funny when people say you have sex appeal or call you the next Brad Pitt. I just laugh. I`m not that. I don`t want to be that." North by northwest 1959 "That`s funny...That plane`s dustin` crops where there ain`t no crops." André Roussin "If you love something, turn it loose. If it doesn`t come back, kill it!" Eleanor Roosevelt "All wars eventually act as boomerangs and the victor suffers as much as the vanquished" Jennifer lopez "A romantic comedy has to be funny and make you think about life; but the obstacle that has to be overcome is key." John henry newman "To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often." Calvin trillin "I actually think of being funny as an odd turn of mind, like a mild disability, some weird way of looking at the world that you can`t get rid of." Kinky friedman "Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail" The lord of the rings: the two towers 2002 "My precious." Margaret cho "My parents are very funny when they have to deal with anything racy or off-color. They usually pretend they don`t speak English." Willard Gaylin "Expressing anger is a form of public littering" Ralph Waldo Emerson "A man`s growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends" Jack layton "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we`ll change the world" Ayn rand "I swear, by my life and my love of it, that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine" Laura 1944 "I don`t use a pen. I write with a goose quill dipped in venom." Bree daniel jane fonda in klute 1971 "Because when you`re a call girl, you control it, that`s why. Because someone wants you...and for an hour...I`m the best actress in the world." Unknown "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness" Ezra miller "The token gay character is always so funny and so fantastic. That`s happened a lot. Or they`re often purely victims." Danny devito "I don`t know. I think it`s funny! I think it`s funny! I go, what? It`s so absurd. I`m alone." Butler Shaffer "Coercive practices that threaten our neighbor(s also threaten us" Ayn Rand "Do not ever say that the desire to "do good" by force is a good motive. Neither power-lust nor stupidity are good motives" Matthew 6:33 "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." Elisha cuthbert "Life is funny and it is interesting how we make it as serious as possible." An officer and a gentleman 1982 "You better stop eyeballin` me, boy!" Tom delonge "Humor has become so cliche and boring that nothing`s funny anymore unless it involves something totally disgusting that offends somebody or makes them feel really uncomfortable." William shakespeare "The love of heaven makes one heavenly" Alfred Hitchcock "I`m not against the police; I`m just afraid of them" Thomas Jefferson "To preserve our independence,We must make our election between economy and liberty,or profusion and servitude" Gordon ramsay "I grew up in a funny way." Alfred Hitchcock "I`m full of fears and I do my best to avoid difficulties and any kind of complications. I like everything around me to be clear as crystal and completely calm" Groucho Marx "Before I speak,I have something important to say" Mary antin "On a royal birthday every house must fly a flag, or the owner would be dragged to a police station and be fined twenty-five rubles." Neale donald walsch "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." Bible, matthew 26:41 "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak" Ian Buckley "Suspicion must always fall on those who attempt to silence their opponents" Soren kierkegaard "Don`t forget to love yourself" Stanislaw Jerzy Lec "Mankind deserves sacrifice,but not of mankind" Butch cassidy paul newman in butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "Kid, the next time I say, `Let`s go someplace like Bolivia,` let`s go someplace like Bolivia." Benjamin Franklin "I hope,.that mankind will at length,as they call themselves responsible creatures,have the reason and sense enough to settle their differences without cutting throats.." Joan rivers "I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again." Ernest hemingway "A man`s got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book." Marcus Tullius Cicero "The mere act of believing that some wrongful course of action constitutes an advantage is pernicious" Jean Jaques Rousseau "Man was/is born free,and everywhere he is in chains. One who believes himself the master of others is nonetheless a greater slave than they" Marcus aurelius "Nothing has such power to broaden the mind as the ability to investigate systematically and truly all that comes under thy observation in life." Havelock ellis "All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on." Harry Emerson Fosdick "I hate war,for the dictatorships it puts in the place of democracies,and for the starvation that stalks after it" Marcus aurelius "The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane." Isla fisher "I crashed my boyfriend`s birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn`t invite me and so I showed up." The palm beach story 1942 "You have no idea what a long-legged gal can do without doing anything." Roxanne 1987 "Excuse me, is that your nose, or did a bus park on your face?" Ogden nash "Certainly there are things in life that money can`t buy, but it`s very funny - Did you ever try buying then without money?" Mahatma gandhi "Where there is love there is life." Bertrand Russell "Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man." Andy warhol "Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet" Adam sandler "Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things." Harper 1966 "The bottom is loaded with nice people, Albert. Only cream and bastards rise." Johann wolfgang von goethe "What is important in life is life, and not the result of life." A star is born 1954 "Hello, everybody. This is Mrs. Norman Maine." Margaret mead "Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else." Ralph Waldo Emerson "For every minute you remain angry,you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" Gary Wills "Only the winners decide what were war crimes" Shane 1953 "(Pa`s got things for you to do, and Mother wants you. I know she does. Shane. Shane. Come back. `Bye, Shane." Luke 12:27 "Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; and yet I say unto you, that Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these." Oprah winfrey "I believe that every single event in life happens in an opportunity to choose love over fear." Louis Lecoin "One does not create a human society on mounds of corpses" David walliams "We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things." B. f. skinner "I did not direct my life. I didn`t design it. I never made decisions. Things always came up and made them for me. That`s what life is." A funny thing happened on the way to the forum 1966 "If I`ve told you once, I`ve told you a hundred times. Do not fan the girls when they`re wet! But you`ll never learn, you`ll be a eunuch all your life." Jennifer lopez "You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room." James herriot "I have felt cats rubbing their faces against mine and touching my cheek with claws carefully sheathed. These things, to me, are expressions of love" Lord Walker of Gestingthorpe "Whether or not patriotism is the last refuge of the scoundrel,national security can be the last refuge of the tyrant" Bertrand russell "The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge" Katharine mcphee "I`m so unprofessional on set it`s not even funny." Richard russo "People often ask me how I make things funny. I don`t make things funny." James 1:3 "Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." Ronald Reagan ",no mother would ever willingly sacrifice her sons for territorial gain,for economic advantage,for ideology" Tallulah bankhead "If I had to live my life again, I`d make the same mistakes, only sooner." Mahatma gandhi "The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly. The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body." Michel de montaigne "The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them... Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will." Voltaire "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it" Albert Einstein "Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school" Whoopi goldberg "When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked." Lucille ball "In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by." Titanic 1997 "Three years, I`ve thought of nothing except Titanic. But I never got it. I never let it in." Alan ladd "It`s a funny thing about me. I don`t have any interest in food most of the time now, although when I was a kid I was always hungry." Joe dimaggio "You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you`re a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen." Dorothy Thompson "Peace has to be created,in order to be maintained. It will never be achieved by passivity and quietism" Buddha "He who loves 50 people has 50 woes; he who loves no one has no woes" The mummy 1932 "He went for a little walk! You should have seen his face!" Mitch hedberg "My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them." Barbara corcoran "A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters." Matt 5:16 "In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven." The night of the hunter 1955 "Well now, what`s it to be, Lord? Another widow? How many has it been? Six? Twelve? I disremember. You say the word, Lord, I`m on my way." General Omar N. Bradley "Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants" Isaiah 41:10 "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." Abel ferrara "It`s funny, the hardest thing to do is to make something look like it`s fast, loose and improvised, and get somebody to laugh." Mark Twain "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow" Bertrand Russell "In all affairs it`s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted." Eleanor Roosevelt "It isn`t enough to talk about peace. One must believe it. And it isn`t enough to believe in it. One must work at it" Woody Allen "As the poet said, `Only God can make a tree` -- probably because it`s so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." Roman Podabedov Russian anti-tank gunner "I learned nothing from war. War is not an activity for human beings; war is for criminalsrape,robbery and murder" Fred allen "California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange." Cool hand luke 1967 "What we`ve got here is failure to communicate." H. l. mencken "Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop" Roland joffe "I`m not a very serious person. You know how they say that clowns are very funny in public and are really sad at home? I`m really kind of stupid at home and more serious in public." The producers 1968 "Sing out, men. We open at Leavenworth on Saturday night." Aphra behn "Each moment of a happy lover`s hour is worth an age of dull and common life" Lyn nofziger "I sometimes lie awake at night trying to think of something funny that Richard Nixon said." Ernest hemingway "If you are lucky enough to have lived in Paris as a young man, then wherever you go for the rest of your life it stays with you, for Paris is a moveable feast." Groucho Marx "Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough" Leo tolstoy "All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love" Khalil gibran "For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one." Plutarch "I don`t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better" Agatha Christie "One is left with the horrible feeling now that war settles nothing; that to win a war is as disastrous as to lose one" Buddha "I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act" Buddha "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned" Philip james bailey "Respect is what we owe; love, what we give" Albert schweitzer "Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful" The wizard of oz 1939 "Toto, I`ve a feeling we`re not in Kansas anymore." Frenzy 1972 "Mr. Rusk, you`re not wearing your tie." Inherit the wind 1960 "I am more interested in the `Rock of Ages` than I am in the age of rocks." Robert louis stevenson "Marriage is like life - it is a field of battle, not a bed of roses." Tupac shakur "What I learned in jail is that I can`t change. I can`t live a different lifestyle-this is it. This is the life that they gave and this is the life that I made." Bird man of alcatraz 1962 "That man has been a thorn in my side for over 40 years. But one thing about him- he never lied to me." Wallace shawn "I don`t happen to have a sense of humor personally, so I don`t know what`s funny about a character... This happens to be a feature of my life generally." Donald Rumsfeld "There are a lot of people who lie and get away with it,and that`s just a fact" Doug Horton "Beauty is variable, ugliness is constant" Gilbert k. chesterton "When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude." Robert green ingersoll "What light is to the eyes - what air is to the lungs - what love is to the heart, liberty is to the soul of man" George W. Bush "We know that dictators are quick to choose aggression,while free nations strive to resolve differences in peace" Dwight D. Eisenhower "We seek peace,knowing that peace is the climate of freedom" Simone Weil "What a country calls its vital,interests are not things that help its people live,but things that help it make war" Johnny depp "The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants" Oprah winfrey "I was raised to believe that excellence is the best deterrent to racism or sexism. And that`s how I operate my life." Rep. Meyer London "They talk about conscription as a democratic institution. Yes; so is a cemetery" James Bryce "Patriotism consists not in waving the flag,but in striving that our country shall be righteous as well as strong" Rose Kennedy "I`ve had an exciting time; I married for love and got a little money along with it" Mitch hedberg "All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me." Mother teresa "Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do... but how much love we put in that action" M. scott peck "Ultimately love is everything" Henny youngman "Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who`ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you`re in the wrong house, that`s what it means" Mohandas Gandhi "Anger and intolerance are the enemies of correct understanding" James Madison "The means of defense against foreign danger historically have become the instruments of tyranny at home" Mahatma gandhi "To deprive a man of his natural liberty and to deny to him the ordinary amenities of life is worse then starving the body; it is starvation of the soul, the dweller in the body." Elbert hubbard "The reason men oppose progress is not that they hate progress, but that they love inertia" The lady from shanghai 1948 "The only way to stay out of trouble is to grow old, so I guess I`ll concentrate on that. Maybe I`ll live so long that I`ll forget her. Maybe I`ll die trying." Ralph Waldo Emerson "All diseases run into one,old age" Fran drescher "And remember, it`s also very funny, because side by side with grief lies joy." Animal crackers 1930 "One morning, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I don`t know." Alfred a. montapert "Animals are reliable, many full of love, true in their affections, predictable in their actions, grateful and loyal. Difficult standards for people to live up to" Hubert h. humphrey "The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it." Richard dawkins "By all means let`s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out." Prince Philip "When a man opens a car door for his wife,it`s either a new car or a new wife" Ghostbusters 1984 "Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!" Basil hume "The great gift of Easter is hope - Christian hope which makes us have that confidence in God, in his ultimate triumph, and in his goodness and love, which nothing can shake" Dracula 1931 "I am...Drac-u-la. I bid you welcome." Sai baba "Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it" Jackson browne "As far as those kinds of things, I also played at the concert to call for the release of Nelson Mandela when he was a political prisoner in South Africa. We were celebrating his 70th birthday and calling for his release." Michel de Montaigne "If there is such a thing as a good marriage,it is because it resembles friendship rather than love" Helen keller "As selfishness and complaint pervert the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision" Ella fitzgerald "The only thing better than singing is more singing." Judy garland "For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul" American beauty 1999 "Look at me, jerking off in the shower. This will be the high point of my day. It`s all downhill from here." The sand pebbles 1966 "What the hell happened?" Ingrid bergman "I have no regrets. I wouldn`t have lived my life the way I did if I was going to worry about what people were going to say." Norman wisdom "I was born in very sorry circumstances. Both of my parents were very sorry." John f. kennedy "The courage of life is often a less dramatic spectacle than the courage of a final moment; but it is no less a magnificent mixture of triumph and tragedy." Jeanette Winterson "After every 'victory' you have more enemies" Anthony Hopkins "I love life because what more is there" Emily bronte "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same" Thomas carlyle "Love is not altogether a delirium, yet it has many points in common therewith" Donald Trump "Everything in life is luck" Romans 10:9 "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved." 2 tim 3:16 "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness," David Hume "It is seldom that liberty of any kind is lost all at once" Ephesians 6:12 "For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places." Henry david thoreau "Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake." Thomas Paine "He who would make his own liberty secure must guard even his enemy from oppression; for if he violates this duty he establishes a precedent that will reach to himself" Joan rivers "I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio." Grand hotel 1932 "The Grand Hotel. Always the same. People come. People go. Nothing ever happens." Jo brand "The thing I thought about doing it was it`s Comic Relief and you`ve got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can`t sing." Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil." Katy perry "I was a hop-around. I hung out with the rockabilly crew, the guys who were trying to be rappers, the funny kids." Barbara de angelis "Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver" Colonel James A. Donovan,Marine Corps "Chauvinism is a proud and bellicose form of patriotism,which equates the national honor with military victory" Emily dickinson "For love is immortality" Austin powers: international man of mystery 1997 "Oh, behave! Yeah!" Olive Schreiner "It is finer to bring one noble human being into the world and rear it well,than to kill ten thousand" Clyde Barrow "We rob banks." Emily dickinson "To love is so startling it leaves little time for anything else" Frank lloyd wright "TV is chewing gum for the eyes." Wesley snipes "I love being a dad, it keeps me fit and inspired and children are so funny. They always supply you with acting material!" John 10:10 "The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly." Latoya jackson "I love my family and I miss them very much but I`m a new person now. I know a lot of people will not agree with what I`ve done, but it was right for me" John wooden "All of life is peaks and valleys. Don`t let the peaks get too high and the valleys too low." Anne lamott "Some people won`t go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter." Molly ivins "I`ve always found it easier to be funny than to be serious." Scarface 1983 "I`m Tony Montana. You f--k with me, you f--kin` with the best!" Henry van dyke "Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity" Robert byrne "The purpose of life is a life of purpose." Henry ward beecher "Young love is a flame; very pretty, often very hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. The love of the older and disciplined heart is as coals, deep-burning, unquenchable" Jimi hendrix "It`s funny how most people love the dead, once you`re dead your made for life." Tracey ullman "It`s funny - if you impersonate somebody, they have no idea it`s them." Butch cassidy and the sundance kid 1969 "Boy, I got vision and the rest of the world wears bifocals." Vincent van gogh "The way to know life is to love many things" Wayne Gretzky "A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be" Aristotle "For though we love both the truth and our friends, piety requires us to honor the truth first" Marilyn monroe "I guess I have always been deeply terrified to really be someone`s wife since I know from life one cannot love another, ever, really" Carl sandburg "Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you." Lawrence of arabia 1962 "-The trick, William Potter, is not minding that it hurts." 1 peter 5:6 "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:" Robert louis stevenson "You can give without loving, but you can never love without giving" Cheryl hines "For my birthday my husband learned to cook and is cooking one day a week for me. But he only likes to do fancy dishes. So we end up with weird, obscure things in the refrigerator." Charles de Secondat,baron de Montesquieu "A rational army would run away" Tom Daschle "This president failed so miserably in diplomacy that we are now forced to war" Escape from the planet of the apes 1971 "Mama, mama, mama, mama." Gun crazy 1950 "We go together, Laurie. I don`t know why, maybe like guns and ammunition go together." John wooden "Love is the most important thing in the world. Hate, we should remove from the dictionary" Buddha "However many holy words you read, however many you speak, what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?" Henry david thoreau "A broad margin of leisure is as beautiful in a man`s life as in a book. Haste makes waste, no less in life than in housekeeping. Keep the time, observe the hours of the universe, not of the cars." William shakespeare "As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words" John Cory "War is the cemetery of futures promised" Albert Einstein "All religions,arts and sciences are branches of the same tree." Clifton Paul Fadiman "A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke,and that the joke is oneself" Dr. Wayne Dyer "Conflict cannot survive without your participation" Anthony hopkins "I love life because what more is there?" Nahum 1:7 "The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him." Will smith "We all want to be in love and find that person who is going to love us no matter how our feet smell, no matter how angry we get one day, no matter the things we say that we don`t mean" Oscar wilde "When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is." Psycho 1960 "I`m not even gonna swat that fly. I hope they are watching. They`ll see. They`ll see and they`ll know and they`ll say, `Why, she wouldn`t even harm a fly.`" John burroughs "I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see." Olaf Stapledon "A nation... is just a society for hating foreigners" Ron white "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party." John Andrew Holmes "Yes,we love peace,but we are not willing to take wounds for it,as we are for war" Toy story 3 2010 "Sunnyside is a place of ruin and despair, ruled by an evil bear who smells of strawberries!" Euripides "Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other" Dalai lama "Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive" Henri matisse "He who loves, flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free and nothing holds him back" William osler "We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life." Johan huizinga "Do you know anything that in all its innocence is more humiliating than the funny pages of a Sunday newspaper in America?" Revelation 21:4 "And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away." Ludwig von Mises "Those who are asking for more government interference are asking ultimately for more compulsion and less freedom" My darling clementine 1946 "Ma`am, I sure like that name - Clementine." Billie holiday "Love is like a faucet, it turns off and on" Charles V of France "Name me an emperor who was ever struck by a cannonball" Nathaniel hawthorne "All brave men love; for he only is brave who has affections to fight for, whether in the daily battle of life, or in physical contests" Bruce lee "If you love life, don`t waste time, for time is what life is made up of" Sun Tzu "There is no instance of a country having benefited from prolonged warfare" Albert Einstein "Everything that can be counted does not necessarily count; everything that counts cannot necessarily be counted" Michael Corleone "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.[19]" Isaiah 9:6 "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace." Fulton j. sheen "Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery" The jazz singer 1927 "Wait a minute! Wait a minute! You ain`t heard nothin` yet. Wait a minute, I tell ya, you ain`t heard nothin`! Do you wanna hear `Toot, Toot, Tootsie!`?" Vassilis Epaminondou "If you kill one person you are a murderer. If you kill ten people you are a monster. If you kill ten thousand you are a national hero" Doug Larson "A pun is the lowest form of humor,unless you thought of it yourself" Rush limbaugh "You know how old I am? I`m so old, I remember when Letterman used to be funny and it was presidents who were serious. That`s how old I am." Forrest gump 1994 "Mama says, `Stupid is as stupid does.`" My little chickadee 1940 "Any time you`ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it, come up." H. l. mencken "It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man." 1 corinthians 13:4 "Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up," Marcus aurelius "Our life is what our thoughts make it." Goodfellas 1990 "As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster." Helen keller "So long as the memory of certain beloved friends lives in my heart, I shall say that life is good." John Barrymore "Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him" Gone with the wind 1939 "-Frankly, my dear. I don`t give a damn." White christmas 1954 "Let`s just say we`re doing it for a pal in the Army." Dwight D. Eisenhower "War settles nothing" Lord byron "Friendship may, and often does, grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship" Oscar wilde "There is always something ridiculous about the emotions of people whom one has ceased to love" George W. Bush "Evil men,obsessed with ambition and unburdened by conscience,must be taken very seriously--and we must stop them before their crimes can multiply" Joseph Heller "I`d like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole field to private individuals" Garrison keillor "Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough." George carlin "Electricity is really just organized lightning." Benjamin disraeli "The first magic of love is our ignorance that it can ever end" Garet Garrett "With no notice to the American people,this country entered the war,Stranger than the fact was the passive acceptance of it" Paul Jones "Do not scorn the person who is perpetually happy. He does know something you don`t" Rodrigue Tremblay "Wars of aggression are the most barbarous of all human endeavors and are,more often than not,the instruments of insane tyrants who hear voices" Johann wolfgang von goethe "There is a courtesy of the heart; it is allied to love. From its springs the purest courtesy in the outward behavior" Justice Robert Jackson "It is not the function of government to keep the citizen from error,it is the function of the citizen to keep the government from falling into error" Arthur rubinstein "I have found that if you love life, life will love you back" Hugo Black,Supreme Court Justice "Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.." Will ferrell "I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time." Julius erving "The key to success is to keep growing in all areas of life - mental, emotional, spiritual, as well as physical." Duke ellington "Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited" Flip wilson "Funny is an attitude." Vertigo 1958 "Well, I`ll wear the darn clothes if you want me to - if-if you`ll just, just like me." Jerry seinfeld "The IRS! They`re like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!" Miguel de unamuno "It is sad not to love, but it is much sadder not to be able to love" George Taylor "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape." Hebrews 12:28 "Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear:" Bible, proverbs 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go,and when he is old he will not turn from it" Tracey ullman "As I get older, I just prefer to knit." David brenner "A vegetarian is a person who won`t eat anything that can have children." Francois de la rochefoucauld "True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen" E. B. White "The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war" Friedrich nietzsche "Whatever is done for love always occurs beyond good and evil" Chris rock "Hollywood`s just not funny." Ben braddock dustin hoffman in the graduate 1967 "Mrs. Robinson, you`re trying to seduce me, aren`t you?" Chris rock "Funny is only something that others know about you - you can`t be funny by yourself." Joshua 24:15 "And if it seem evil unto you to serve the LORD, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD." Erich fromm "Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies" Gaslight 1944 "I haven`t been afraid since I`ve known you." Play clip excerpt: "Mr. Allen, this may come as a shock to you, but there are some men who don`t end every sentence with a proposition." Gal 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gentlemen prefer blondes 1953 "(singingA kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girl`s best friend." George burns "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city." Elmer gantry 1960 "And what is love? Love is the mornin` and the evenin` star." Notorious 1946 "We are protected by the enormity of your stupidity." Will smith "Life is lived on the edge." A tree grows in brooklyn 1945 "Bend down, Papa. My cup runneth over." Robert Higgs "Since the end of the nineteenth century,if not earlier,presidents have misled the public about their motives and their intentions in going to war" Proverbs 15:1 "A mild answer calms wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger" Pope John Paul II "War is a defeat for humanity" David wilkerson "Love is not only something you feel, it is something you do" Rita Rudner "My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn`t want him to" Thomas Jefferson "The force of public opinion cannot be resisted when permitted freely to be expressed. The agitation it produces must be submitted to" C. s. lewis "Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives" Jose Narosky "In war,there are no unwounded soldiers" Dick gephardt "I filed a brief as a friend of the court in the U. of Michigan to keep affirmative action at the U. of Michigan, which I attended the law school. And I was one of the original sponsors of making the Martin Luther King birthday a federal holiday." The graduate 1967 "Mrs. Robinson, you`re trying to seduce me, aren`t you?" George carlin "Weather forecast for tonight: dark." Samuel taylor coleridge "The love of a mother is the veil of a softer light between the heart and the heavenly Father" Robert louis stevenson "To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end of life." Casey stengel "All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height." Benjamin franklin "Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of" Soren kierkegaard "Life has its own hidden forces which you can only discover by living." Bob hope "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy" Jamaican Proverb "Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one" Kahlil Gibran "Where is the justice of political power if it executes the murderer and jails the plunderer" Matthew 18:20 "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Larry david "I think we`re all good and bad, but good`s not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny." Sarah silverman "But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it`s funny enough." Jeff ross "I`ve actually tried to roast somebody that I don`t like, and it doesn`t go well. Either they`re a bad sport or I`m not as funny as I could be." Elias Canetti "Rulers who want to unleash war know very well that they must procure or invent a first victim" John "Bluto" Blutarsky "Toga! Toga!" Woody allen "I think being funny is not anyone`s first choice." Norman Cousins "Where is the indignation about the fact that the US and USSR have thirty thousand pounds of destructive force for every human being in the world" Thomas della Peruta "Our children are not born to hate,they are raised to hate" The big chill 1983 "That`s the great thing about the outdoors, it`s one giant toilet." Richard bach "Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life." Mae west "Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier" General Stonewall Jackson "It is painful enough to discover with what unconcern they speak of war and threaten it. I have seen enough of it to make me look upon it as the sum of all evils" George jean nathan "Love is an emotion experienced by the many and enjoyed by the few" Woody Allen "I can`t listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland." Alfred Hitchcock "In films murders are always very clean. I show how difficult it is and what a messy thing it is to kill a man" The strawberry blonde 1941 "That`s the kind of a hairpin I am." Martin Luther "Let the wife make the husband glad to come home,and let him make her sorry to see him leave" Dwight D. Eisenhower "You can`t have this kind of war. There just aren`t enough bulldozers to scrape the bodies off the streets" Theodore roosevelt "The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any-price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life" George Bernard Shaw "Every man over forty is a scoundrel" Arnold H. Glasow "A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down" Aristotle "Those who educate children well are more to be honored than they who produce them; for these only gave them life, those the art of living well." William blake "I am in you and you in me, mutual in divine love" Gian Vincenzo Gravina "A bore is a man who deprives you of solitude without providing you with company" Samuel johnson "The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape." Wayne dyer "Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life" George W. Bush "Victory means exit strategy,and it`s important for the president to explain to us what the exit strategy is" Charles Tilly "Almost all war making states borrow extensively,raise taxes,and seize the means of combat- including men--from reluctant citizens.." Buddha "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection" Mr. blandings builds his dream house 1948 "If you ain`t eating Wham, you ain`t eatin` ham." Buddha "Decay is inherent in all compounded things. Strive on with diligence" Dark victory 1939 "-Nothing can hurt us now. What we have can`t be destroyed. That`s our victory... our victory over the dark." Horsefeathers 1932 "You`re a disgrace to our family name of Wagstaff, if such a thing is possible. What`s all this talk I hear about you fooling around with the college widow?" Oscar levant "Roses are red, violets are blue, I`m schizophrenic, and so am I." On golden pond 1981 "Ya wanna dance or would you rather just suck face?" Benjamin Disraeli "War is never a solution; it is an aggravation" Edward M. Kennedy "Violence is an admission that one`s ideas and goals cannot prevail on their own merits" John f. kennedy "Once you say you`re going to settle for second, that`s what happens to you in life." Paula poundstone "I don`t have a bank account because I don`t know my mother`s maiden name." Khalil gibran "When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you" Woody Allen "It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one`s hat keeps blowing off." William blake "He who binds to himself a joy Does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity`s sun rise." Mel brooks "If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets." Albert camus "To abandon oneself to principles is really to die - and to die for an impossible love which is the contrary of love" Oscar Wilde "America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between" Matthew 6:24 "No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other" William James "Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact" 2 timothy 1:13 "Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus." Donald trump "It`s tangible, it`s solid, it`s beautiful. It`s artistic, from my standpoint, and I just love real estate" Dr. strangelove, or:... 1964 "Gentlemen. You can`t fight in here. This is the War Room!" Goodfellas 1990 "Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I`m an average nobody. I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook." Ludwig von Mises "Economically considered,war and revolution are always bad business" Jean de la bruyere "The sweetest of all sounds is that of the voice of the woman we love" David L. Wilson "War creates peace like hate creates love" Wolfgang amadeus mozart "Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius" David Borenstein "Tis nobler to lose honor to save the lives of men than it is to gain honor by taking them" Mayim bialik "I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that`s what`s funny." Niccolo machiavelli "The more sand has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it." Norman rockwell "I`m not going to be caught around here for any fool celebration. To hell with birthdays!" Nima Shirali,Middle Eastern Reconciliation Forum "Let us form a new religion,that which would be called `humanity`,with `peace` as its prophet" Paulo coelho "Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere" Marianne williamson "Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here" Alexander Hamilton "Those who stand for nothing fall for anything" Martin luther king, jr. "Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love" Lily tomlin "If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?" James Madison "No nation could preserve its freedom in the midst of continual warfare" Halle berry "I know that I will never find my father in any other man who comes into my life, because it is a void in my life that can only be filled by him." Jack kingston "Ages of experience have taught humanity that the commitment of a husband and wife to love and to serve one another promotes the welfare of children and the stability of society" Blair underwood "My son had his eighth birthday recently and we had a chance to borrow the film and show it to all of his friends that was at his birthday party and they loved it. I was a little nervous. I said they might not even like it, and say his daddy`s movie is wack, but they loved it." Anne morrow lindbergh "The most exhausting thing in life is being insincere." Lt. Gen. James Mattis,USMC "It`s quite fun to fight `em,you know. It`s a hell of a hoot. It`s fun to shoot some people. I`ll be right up front with you,I like brawling" In a lonely place 1950 "I was born when you kissed me. I died when you left me. I lived a few weeks while you loved me. Good-bye, Dix." Pablo Picasso "It takes a long time to become young" Bertrand Russell "Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric." Ludwig von Mises "The attainment of the economic aims of man presupposes peace" The blob 1958 "Yeah, as long as the Arctic stays cold." Barry white "I quit high school on my birthday. It was my senior year and I didn`t see the point. This was 1962, and I was ready to make music." Lauren Bacall "I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that" George harrison "All the world is birthday cake, so take a piece, but not too much." Stefan Halper and Jonathan Clarke "One reason the United States finds itself at the edge of a foreign policy disaster is its underinformed citizenry,a key weakness in democracy" Elayne boosler "I`ve never been married, but I tell people I`m divorced so they won`t think something`s wrong with me." The blues brothers 1980 "They`re not gonna catch us. We`re on a mission from God." Drew carey "Nothing`s funny about someone who`s successful." John ruskin "Give a little love to a child, and you get a great deal back" Thomas merton "The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them" Les dawson "I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own." Steven wright "Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country." Flying down to rio 1933 "I`ll do it. Sounds like a new thrill." The producers 1968 "I`m wet. I`m wet. I`m hysterical and I`m wet. I`m in pain and I`m wet, and I`m still hysterical." William blake "Without contraries is no progression. Attraction and repulsion, reason and energy, love and hate, are necessary to human existence" Anonymous German "A great war leaves a country with three armies: an army of cripples,an army of mourners,and an army of thieves" David gerrold "Life is hard. Then you die. Then they throw dirt in your face. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order." Invasion of the body snatchers 1956 "Look, you fools. You`re in danger. Can`t you see? They`re after you. They`re after all of us. Our wives, our children, everyone. They`re here already. You`re next!" Chevy Chase "A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic,so that came naturally to me" James m. barrie "Life is a long lesson in humility." Rachel dratch "If it gets laughs, it`s funny." Matt leblanc "You can`t be funny if you don`t have good material." Friedrich nietzsche "The lie is a condition of life." Bill cosby "Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry." Thomas Sowell "Most wars are started by well-fed people with time on their hands to dream up half-baked ideologies or grandiose ambitions,and to nurse real or imagined grievances" Eleanor roosevelt "Life must be lived and curiosity kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life." Mitch hedberg "I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I`m upside down." H. G. Wells "A time will come when a politician who has willfully made war and promoted international dissension will be,surer of the noose than a private homicide" Mercedes mccambridge "I`d never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room." William Pitt "Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human freedom. It is the argument of tyrants; it is the creed of slaves" Jim rohn "If you don`t design your own life plan, chances are you`ll fall into someone else`s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much." Genesis 1:3 "And God said, Let there be light: and there was light." Robert byrne "Until you walk a mile in another man`s moccasins you can`t imagine the smell." Tippi hedren "Hitchcock had a charm about him. He was very funny at times. He was incredibly brilliant in his field of suspense." Stephen fry "I don`t need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me." Murray Rothbard ",The very nature of interstate war puts innocent civilians into great jeopardy,especially with modern technology" Mark twain "Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." Scarlett johansson "It`s a required part of your film history to know who Woody is. His movies are so wonderful, and not just funny but so insightful about human behavior." Henry david thoreau "Wealth is the ability to fully experience life." Aeschylus "In war,truth is the first casualty" John F. Kennedy "Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory. It can no longer serve to settle disputes,can no longer be of concern to great powers alone" Benjamin franklin "Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy." Khalil gibran "Coming generations will learn equality from poverty, and love from woes" Rod Tidwell "Show me the money!" General Douglas MacArthur "I believe that the entire effort of modern society should be concentrated on the endeavor to outlaw war as a method of the solution of problems between nations" General Thomas S. Power "Putting aside all the fancy words and academic doubletalk,the basic reason for having a military is to do two jobs --to kill people and to destroy" Chaz Bufe "War,n: A time-tested political tactic guaranteed to raise a presidents popularity rating by at least 30 points. It is especially useful during election years and economic downturns" 2 peter 1:4 "Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust." Ayn Rand "Statism needs war; a free country does not. Statism survives by looting; a free country survives by producing" Michel de montaigne "If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I" Erma bombeck "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, `I used everything you gave me`." Leo buscaglia "Don`t brood. Get on with living and loving. You don`t have forever" Erich segal "Love means not ever having to say you`re sorry" Sai baba "The life ahead can only be glorious if you learn to live in total harmony with the Lord." Magic johnson "I tell you, it`s funny because the only time I think about HIV is when I have to take my medicine twice a day." Holiday 1938 "The place is haunted...Frightful ghosts all wearing stuffed shirts and mink-lined ties." Woody Allen "Eighty percent of success is showing up." Sen. J. William Fulbright Ark. "The price of empire is Americas soul,and that price is too high" Oscar wilde "Life imitates art far more than art imitates Life." Dave grohl "It`s funny; recently I`ve started to notice people`s impersonations of me, and it`s basically like a hyperactive child." Ralph waldo emerson "A chief event of life is the day in which we have encountered a mind that startled us." Franklin Delano Roosevelt "In politics,nothing happens by accident. If it happens,you can bet it was planned that way" Groucho Marx "I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury" Thornton wilder "Love is an energy which exists of itself. It is its own value" Charles m. schulz "I think I`ve discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it." The exorcist 1973 "...Your mother`s in here with us, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I`ll see that she gets it." Sudden impact 1983 "Go ahead, make my day." Ludwig von Mises "Society has arisen out of the works of peace; the essence of society is peacemaking" John wooden "Don`t let making a living prevent you from making a life." Howard Zinn "There is no flag large enough to cover the shame of killing innocent people" Emily dickinson "Love is anterior to life, posterior to death, initial of creation, and the exponent of breath" Elayne boosler "Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?" Woody allen "I failed to make the chess team because of my height." Lucy liu "Everything I buy is vintage and smells funny. Maybe that`s why I don`t have a boyfriend." George s. patton "Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting of battle" Arthur rubinstein "I have found that if you love life, life will love you back." Voltaire "My life is a struggle." George Orwell "If you want to imagine the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face forever" Jamie foxx "I really wanted to just be a musician. I didn`t want to be anything else, but I was funny and all that." Carl friedrich gauss "Life stands before me like an eternal spring with new and brilliant clothes." Howard Zinn "Historically,the most terrible things--war,genocide and slavery--have resulted from obedience,not disobedience" Bertrand Russell "I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong." Henry david thoreau "Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it." Henry Ward Beecher "A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It`s jolted by every pebble on the road" The african queen 1951 "If there`s anything in the world I hate, it`s leeches - filthy little devils!" 8 million ways to die 1986 "The street light makes my pussy hair glow in the dark. Cotton candy - the glow." Ruth warrick "I do like to shock and surprise people. When it`s all in good fun, of course." Ricardo montalban "True love doesn`t happen right away; it`s an ever-growing process. It develops after you`ve gone through many ups and downs, when you`ve suffered together, cried together, laughed together" Unknown "A diplomat is a man who can convince his wife she`d look stout in a fur coat" Fred Allen "All I know about humor is that I don`t know anything about it" Esther williams "When you`re out of sight for as long as I was, there`s a funny feeling of betrayal that comes over people when they see you again." Johann Wolfgang von Goethe "None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free" Megan fox "I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys." Francois de la rochefoucauld "One can find women who have never had one love affair, but it is rare indeed to find any who have had only one" Thomas Jefferson "This I hope will be the age of experiments in government,and that their basis will be founded in principles of honesty,not of mere force" William hazlitt "The art of life is to know how to enjoy a little and to endure very much." Barbara Bush "Why should we hear about body bags,and deaths,I mean,it`s not relevant. So why should I waste my beautiful mind on something like that" Robert louis stevenson "Fiction is to the grown man what play is to the child; it is there that he changes the atmosphere and tenor of his life." Josh billings "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself" Spartacus 1960 "I am Spartacus." The letter 1940 "With all my heart, I still love the man I killed!" Dennis miller "There`s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you`re insightful about it." Richard l. evans "Don`t let life discourage you; everyone who got where he is had to begin where he was." Ramman Kenoun "How is it possible for people to consider themselves supporters of the troops when they approve of an event that throws those troops into,peril" Denis leary "You can`t teach somebody how to be funny. You`re either funny, or you ain`t." Ellen degeneres "My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She`s ninety-seven now, and we don`t know where the hell she is." Ludwig von Mises "Only one thing can conquer war--that attitude of mind which can see nothing in war but destruction and annihilation.." Margaret Mead "As long as any adult thinks that he, like the parents and teachers of old, can become introspective, invoking his own youth to understand the youth before him, he is lost" Ogden nash "To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you`re wrong, admit it; Whenever you`re right, shut up" Abraham lincoln "I remember my mother`s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." Bertrand Russell "The good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy - I mean that if you are happy you will be good." Stevie nicks "It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people." There will be blood 2007 "I - drink - your - milkshake! (slurping sounds I drink it up!" Robert frost "It`s a funny thing that when a man hasn`t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married." Psalm 11:7 "For the Lord is righteous, he loves justice; upright men will see his face" Werner erhard "You don`t have to go looking for love when it`s where you come from" Albert Einstein "Anger dwells only in the bosom of fools." Shawn levy "Even when I was a kid, I had a good thing with kids. To this day, if I go to a birthday party with one of my kids, I swear to you, I am so much happier hanging out with my kids and their friends than talking to the grown-ups." Harvey 1950 "In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years, I was smart. I recommend pleasant. And you may quote me." Cool hand luke 1967 "Anybody here? Hey, Ol` Man, You home tonight? `Bout time we had a little talk." Fyodor dostoevsky "To love someone means to see him as God intended him" Joe rogan "The misconception is that standup comics are always on. I don`t know any really funny comics that are annoying and constantly trying to be funny all the time." Will Rogers "Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock" Bill murray "One of the things I like about acting is that, in a funny way, I come back to myself." Rachel roy "I tell girls all the time that the men that have fallen in love with me, have all fallen during a man repeller stage... funny how life works out like that." E. b. white "Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car." Anthony J D`Angelo "Learn not only to find what you like, learn to like what you find" Eugene kennedy "The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple?" Tristan Eggener "Even the the most tempting rose has thorns" Samuel Butler "Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them" Euripides "The greatest pleasure of life is love." Mark Twain "Look at you in war,There has never been a just one,never an honorable one,on the part of the instigator of the war" Johnny knoxville "It`s a real primal thing, watching someone get hurt. It`s funny and accessible." Paulo coelho "One is loved because one is loved. No reason is needed for loving" Marcus aurelius "Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way of thinking." Victor Hugo "Forty is the old age of youth; fifty the youth of old age" Robert E. Lee "What a cruel thing is war,to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors,and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world" Henry ward beecher "There is no friendship, no love, like that of the parent for the child" Julie walters "I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women." Alexander Berkman "War means blind obedience,unthinking stupidity,brutish callousness,wanton destruction,and irresponsible murder" Oscar Wilde "Who,being loved,is poor" Maurice Chevalier "comfortable old age is the reward of a well-spent youth. Instead of its bringing sad and melancholy prospects of decay,it would give us hopes of eternal youth in a better world." Alexander Berkman "War paralyzes your courage and deadens the spirit of true manhood" Jean racine "The quarrels of lovers are the renewal of love" Noam Chomsky "There are many terrorist states in the world,but the United States is unusual in that it is officially committed to international terrorism" Demetri martin "The comedians I liked were Bill Cosby and Steven Wright, like just always as a comedic actor. I always liked Gary Larson, who`s really funny for a cartoonist, obviously." Henry david thoreau "Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth" Victor hugo "There are fathers who do not love their children; there is no grandfather who does not adore his grandson" Oscar wilde "Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." Josh billings "Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well." John Fitzgerald Kennedy "If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich" Billy graham "Nothing can bring a real sense of security into the home except true love" John barrymore "Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock" Connie britton "For my birthday this year, my girlfriends - who knew I`d just inherited my dad`s turntable - gave me a carton of albums like `Blue Kentucky Girl,` by Emmylou Harris, and `Off the Wall,` by Michael Jackson. It`s all stuff we grew up with. I mean, you can`t have a music collection without Prince`s `Purple Rain` - it just can`t be done!" John wayne "Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It`s perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we`ve learned something from yesterday." From here to eternity 1953 "Robert E. Lee Prewitt. Isn`t that a silly old name?" Leo buscaglia "Life lived for tomorrow will always be just a day away from being realized." Stevie wonder "Do you know, it`s funny, but I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage." Don Marquis "Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough" George Ade "If it were not for the presents,an elopement would be preferable" Ramman Kenoun "A tyrant has succeeded in his search for absolute power when his own people fear to question his actions" Terence Trent D`Arby "Art is anything you can get away with" Lao tzu "Love is of all passions the strongest, for it attacks simultaneously the head, the heart and the senses" George Washington "Government is not reason,it is not eloquence,it is force,Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible action" Anthony Gregory "The real triumph of civilization is the extent to which coercion is banished from human relations" Dave attell "I`m not a movie guy, I`m not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me." Brittany snow "I grew up doing all that stuff because I was obsessed with the `50s. I had sock hops for birthday parties. So I`ve always done The Twist and stuff. It was pretty natural and, with my parents doing it all the time, I`d just copy them. Not very pretty." Isadora Duncan "Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract,and then goes into it,deserves all the consequences" George W. Bush "If we dont stop extending our troops all around the world in nation-building missions,were going to have a serious problem coming down the road" Barbara Jordan "What the people want is very simple,they want an America as good as its promise" Sydney j. harris "Our dilemma is that we hate change and love it at the same time; what we really want is for things to remain the same but get better" Oscar wilde "There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." Christopher walken "Some people can do things and get away with it. Comics are famously like that. Why is it that some guys can say the most horrible things and it`s not offensive, it`s funny?" Barbara de angelis "No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change." Paulo coelho "The wise are wise only because they love. The fool are fools only because they think they can understand love" William Graham Sumner "If [America] becomes militant,it will be because its people choose to become such; it will be because they think that war and warlikeness are desirable" Mary douglas "If people want to compete for leadership of a religious group, they can compete in piety. A chilling thought. Or funny." Eleanor roosevelt "I have spent many years of my life in opposition, and I rather like the role." Rita rudner "When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always." Thomas Chatterton "There is a time for all things,except marriage,my dear" Senator Robert M. La Follette "Before the war is ended,the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly" George bernard shaw "Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh." Brokeback mountain 2005 "(You have no idea how bad it gets. I wish I knew how to quit you." James thurber "Progress was all right. Only it went on too long." Robert wagner "A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you can have that in your life, things won`t be too bad" Ben hogan "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round." Brigham young "Love the giver more than the gift." Paulo coelho "I`m not saying that love always takes you to heaven. Your life can become a nightmare. But that said, it is worth taking the risk." Michael leboeuf "Waste your money and you`re only out of money, but waste your time and you`ve lost a part of your life." Albert camus "I would rather live my life as if there is a God and die to find out there isn`t, than live my life as if there isn`t and die to find out there is." Ingrid bergman "A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous" Dr. Squid "Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think, and a docudrama with ugly actors for those who film docudramas" Rodney Dangerfield "It`s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips,yet she won`t drink from my glass" Grandma moses "Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be." George bernard shaw "First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity" Simone de beauvoir "One`s life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compassion." Sigmund Freud "A belligerent state permits itself every such misdeed,every such act of violence,as would disgrace the individual" Mae west "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." Ralph Waldo Emerson "Peace cannot be achieved through violence,it can only be attained through understanding" David grayson "Looking back, I have this to regret, that too often when I loved, I did not say so" Horse feathers 1932 "I`d horsewhip you, if I had a horse." Kathy griffin "But if something funny happens, I can`t resist. I have to tell the people." Alfred Hitchcock "In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director" Paula poundstone "I`m thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings." Henry david thoreau "There is no remedy for love but to love more" Bad boys 1995 "You know, you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy." Robert frost "You don`t have to deserve your mother`s love. You have to deserve your father`s" Yoko Ono "Marriage is a gamble,let`s be honest" Lily tomlin "I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific." Robert Frost "A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman`s birthday but never remembers her age" Dale Carnegie "Develop success from failures. Discouragement and failure are two of the surest stepping stones to success" Mignon mclaughlin "No one has ever loved anyone the way everyone wants to be loved" Richard bach "True love stories never have endings" Psalms 100:4 "Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name." Elbert hubbard "Life in abundance comes only through great love" William feather "No man is a failure who is enjoying life." Erich fromm "There is only one meaning of life: the act of living itself." Serj Tankian "We first fought,in the name of religion,then Communism,and now in the name of drugs and terrorism. Our excuses for global domination always change" Alfred Hitchcock "Always make the audience suffer as much as possible" Fred allen "I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me." Brian tracy "The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance." Rachael ray "I tried to bake a cake for my mother`s birthday - it took me four hours. It was terrible, and I cried for three days." Ernest Hemingway "They wrote in the old days that it is sweet and fitting to die for ones country. But in modern war,there is nothing sweet nor fitting in your dying. You will die like a dog for no good reason" John lennon "If someone thinks that love and peace is a cliche that must have been left behind in the Sixties, that`s his problem. Love and peace are eternal" Arthur c. clarke "The best measure of a man`s honesty isn`t his income tax return. It`s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale." Albert Camus "When a war breaks out,people say: "It`s too stupid,it can`t last long." But though a war may be "too stupid," that doesn`t prevent its lasting" Ben okri "The most authentic thing about us is our capacity to create, to overcome, to endure, to transform, to love and to be greater than our suffering" In the heat of the night 1967 "They call me Mister Tibbs." Groucho Marx "A man`s only as old as the woman he feels" Alfred Hitchcock "I am to provide the public with beneficial shocks" Lance burton "We didn`t have a whole lot of money when I was growing up either. I would always ask for magic books or magic tricks for my birthday or for Christmas and the rest of the year I either had to mow lawns or find part time jobs to help supplement the cost of doing magic." Eugene Debs "No war by any nation in any age has ever been declared by the people" Francois de la rochefoucauld "In love we often doubt what we most believe" Woody Allen "Basically my wife was immature. I`d be at home in the bath and she`d come in and sink my boats" Joan lunden "Holding on to anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life." All about eve 1950 "Miss Casswell is an actress, a graduate of the Copacabana School of Dramatic Art." Proverbs 21:15 "When justice is done, it brings joy to the righteous but terror to evildoers" Albert camus "For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life." Lawrence of arabia 1962 "Well sir, goin` `ome...`Ome, sir." As good as it gets 1997 "You make me want to be a better man." Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God..." Joseph campbell "We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us." Psycho 1960 "We all go a little mad sometimes... Haven`t you?" Benjamin franklin "To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals." Douglas horton "If you love something let it go free. If it doesn`t come back, you never had it. If it comes back, love it forever" Mother teresa "I try to give to the poor people for love what the rich could get for money. No, I wouldn`t touch a leper for a thousand pounds; yet I willingly cure him for the love of God" Michael jackson "Let us dream of tomorrow where we can truly love from the soul, and know love as the ultimate truth at the heart of all creation" Rodney dangerfield "I haven`t spoken to my wife in years. I didn`t want to interrupt her." Gabrielle Colette "Be happy. It is a way of being wise" Mr. smith goes to washington 1939 "I wouldn`t give you two cents for all your fancy rules if, behind them, they didn`t have a little bit of plain, ordinary, everyday kindness and a - a little looking out for the other fella, too..." Psalms 10:17 "LORD, thou hast heard the desire of the humble: thou wilt prepare their heart, thou wilt cause thine ear to hear:" Billy connolly "I`ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives." Ron Paul "If you sacrifice liberty for security,you will lose both" 1 john 4:7 "Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." Steven Wright "Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time" Alfred Hitchcock "I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it" Wayne dyer "Freedom means you are unobstructed in living your life as you choose. Anything less is a form of slavery." Mars attacks! 1996 "Ack! Ack! Ack!" General William Tecumseh Sherman "It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood,more vengeance,more desolation. War is hell" Frank Herbert "It is not that power corrupts but that power is a magnet to the corruptible" Alfred Hitchcock "I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle" Will rogers "Do the best you can, and don`t take life too serious." Baruch spinoza "All happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love" Johnny carson "Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas." Yogi berra "I don`t mean to be funny." Francois rabelais "To good and true love fear is forever affixed" Alfred Hitchcock "Give them pleasure,the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare" Unknown "In politics people work hard to get a job and do little after they get it" George a. romero "For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy." The informer 1935 "`Twas I informed on your son, Mrs. McPhillip. Forgive me." Isaiah 53:6 "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all." Jimi hendrix "When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace" Russell Crowe Nash "Find a truly original idea. It is the only way I will ever distinguish myself. It is the only way I will ever matter." Eva gabor "Love is a game that two can play and both win" Winston Churchill "Never believe any war will be smooth and easy,or that anyone who embarks on the strange voyage can measure the tides and hurricanes he will encounter" Martin luther king, jr. "Property is intended to serve life, and no matter how much we surround it with rights and respect, it has no personal being. It is part of the earth man walks on. It is not man." Last tango in paris 1972 "Go, get the butter." George washington "My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." John glenn "There is still no cure for the common birthday." Dr. seuss "From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere." Walter Goodman "Corruption is no stranger to Washington; it is a famous resident" Gilbert k. chesterton "Let your religion be less of a theory and more of a love affair" George saunders "The word `funny` is a bit like the word `love` - we don`t have enough words to describe the many varieties." Franklin d. roosevelt "We have always held to the hope, the belief, the conviction that there is a better life, a better world, beyond the horizon." Robert louis stevenson "Keep your eyes open to your mercies. The man who forgets to be thankful has fallen asleep in life." Alfred lord tennyson "Love is the only gold" Henry miller "Whatever there be of progress in life comes not through adaptation but through daring." Demetri martin "If you can`t tell a spoon from a ladle, then you`re fat!" John lennon "Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I`m a dreamer, but I`m not the only one. I hope someday you`ll join us, and the world will be as one." Mason cooley "Only the broken-hearted know the truth about love" Benjamin Franklin "All wars are follies,very expensive and very mischievous ones" Anthony holden "What was funny if you were there is that we were all immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what she was going to say and we`re chatting away, nice to see you." Graham norton "Straight men just can`t imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do." Don rickles "Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?" Tom shales "Why, on my mother`s birthday, am I thinking about `Father Knows Best?` At our house, mother knew best at least as often as father did, but then the title of the old sitcom, a homogenized portrait of American family life, was meant to be slightly sardonic." King Baudouin I of Belgium "It takes twenty years or more of peace to make a man; it only takes twenty seconds of war to destroy him" Maynard james keenan "Actually I never did stand up. I`m not that funny." Phil 4:13 "I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Ecclesiastes 9:18 "Wisdom is better than weapons of war" Ralph waldo emerson "Don`t be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment." Ray jonathan lipnicki in jerry maguire 1996 "Jerry, d`you know the human head weighs eight pounds?" Mark Twain "Why,the Government is merely,a temporary servant,Its function is to obey orders,not originate them" William Arthur Ward "Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records" Albert schweitzer "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." Chaz bono "I always wanted to shave. It is a very natural process. For my birthday I got a lot of shaving stuff." Vernon howard "You have succeeded in life when all you really want is only what you really need." How green was my valley 1941 "My business is anything that comes between man and the spirit of God." Bertrand Russell "Mathematics, rightly viewed, possesses not only truth, but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture." George jean nathan "A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled, but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy" Crash davis kevin costner in bull durham 1988 "Relax, all right? Don`t try to strike everybody out. Strikeouts are boring; besides that, they`re fascist. Throw some ground balls. It`s more democratic." Megan fox "I`m smart and I can be really funny and interesting and I can go toe-to-toe with anybody in a conversation." Steven wright "I`m writing a book. I`ve got the page numbers done." The wizard of oz 1939 "Oh! You cursed brat. Look what you`ve done. I`m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness." Hooper 1978 "Roger, as usual, you`re wrong." Jerry stiller "I don`t think my judgment is that good. I don`t know what is funny." Ambrose Bierce "Diplomacy: The patriotic art of lying for one`s country" The night of the hunter 1955 "They abide and they endure." Napoleon bonaparte "If I had to choose a religion, the sun as the universal giver of life would be my god." Danny bonaduce "It`s funny, because I`m a man of strong opinions and when I make one, I stand by it even if it starts to appear incorrect to me after a while." Jess Lair "Joy is not in things, it is in us" Isaiah 55:8 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD." Play clips excerpt: short long "You are a TOY! You aren`t the real Buzz Lightyear. You`re - you`re an action figure. You are a child`s plaything." Genesis 28:15 "And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of." Larry david "I gave a funny speech at my wife`s birthday party, and I`m thinking, `Hey, I`ve still got it.`"

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